Games People Play

Late last week I was talking with my manager and she asked me to take a new, important position in the Business Office. I am to be head of the Denial Management team which currently consists of me reporting to her. What makes this so important is that we are going to try and discover the reasons why claims fail to get paid the first time around. As a small hospital we are hurting financially like many of the small hospitals around the country. The insurance companies are using every trick in the book and inventing new ones to keep from paying claims. If we can identify some of the problems we can correct the errors before they happen and hopefully our financial situation will improve.

I started this job last Friday and although I am back up Cash Poster I am really excited about the prospect of being able to help in this way. I almost feel like the Sherlock Holmes of our hospital now. This new promotion has been treated with hostility from some of my coworkers. Their are some people in that office whose feel it is their mission in life to cause as many problems for the other people as possible. They will run to the manager and try and get coworkers in trouble pointing out the least little error as a reason why this person should not be working there. I have been their target for years now.

I have always refused to play this game. I believe that the office needs to work together as a team. It doesn’t matter who created the error it needs to be fixed and I will quietly fix errors I find. The only time I will go to my manager is if I don’t know how to fix the error and need her guidance. I firmly believe this is the reason I am now in the position I have been promoted to. My manager hates this game playing and she wanted someone who was willing to put in the hard work and more importantly will work with her to try and find answers. The people who are glaring at me now realize that with this position I will be able to identify errors that they have made. They know that I won’t use this position for revenge but I will do my job right. It is my responsibility to identify errors and as my manager said it doesn’t really matter who made the error what matters is trying to get them fixed and be proactive in preventing them in the future.

I don’t like playing games with people’s lives. It is one of the reasons I have been a political activist since High School. I have a dislike of politics for politics sake. When I vote for someone I expect them to act in the interests of the people. I think too many politicians find that naïve. What they fail to realize is that I and other voters can just as easily vote against them next time. I am especially disgusted with Congress and their failure to act on the many problems facing this country.

For me life means helping people, animals and our planet. I have always had cats in my life and try to rescue pound cats when I can. My Merlin is a pound cat rescue. I sometimes wonder if one of the reasons he is such a mama’s boy and will whine if I’m not near him is because he recognizes that in this house that Pixie is the favorite. I have to admit that Pixie is very loving and will go to everybody while Merlin wants only to be near me. I think he recognizes that with me he will always have unconditional love. He isn’t mistreated by mother and brother he just realizes that they love Pixie more. That she is “their” cat.

I don’t make a lot of money and my new position won’t pay any more since wages are frozen where I work but I try and send money to help in feeding and taking care of the poor here and around the world and to people who help rescue animals and try and protect the environment.

I like playing games that are actually games. I am a huge fan of Farmville and loved my Mom’s reaction when I showed her my farm. She took one look at my green,alien cow that gives “milktonium” and decided she would rather get her milk at Aldis. I don’t, however, play games when it comes to people’s lives. I am shrugging off the hostility from some of the people at work. I don’t have time in my life for the games they play. I don’t have time for the jealousy. Life is too short and I have too much that I want to accomplish. I have too many people whom I care about. I have too much art that I want to create. There are too many things to photograph. Their are too many friends to communicate with. We have a planet to save. Why waste time playing games that aren’t any fun? The picture is called “Jealousy” and was my way of de-stressing after a particularly bad day at work. I think creating is more fun then destroying.

A Gentle Soul

My father’s oldest sister passed away on Thursday. She was a product of a different time and age. A time we nostalgically think of as a kinder and more gentler age. She was certainly a gentle soul. I spent the morning looking at her photo albums that I am trying to see how I can scan in without damaging the old photos. It was an age where her grandparents depended on horses and buggies to get around. There are pictures of her Dad in the new fangled automobiles, a passion of his and of his only surviving son, my Dad. There were pictures of their Mom playing the French Horn in a circus band. There were pictures of her always dressed like a lady. One of my favorite pictures was of her and two friends in bathing suits showing an Aunt Beth with a beautiful hour glass figure.

In her last couple of years Aunt Beth developed dementia and my brothers Reid and Jerry and his wife Debi became the care givers handling all of her financial affairs and giving her the love and support she needed to get by. She had a couple of hospitalizations but in spite of her wandering mind she was in good health. The heart attack that took her was very swift and she didn’t suffer.

Beth in pictures was almost always the one on the end. She wasn’t as adventurous as her sister Hazel. She wasn’t as complex as her only surviving brother, Jack. She wasn’t as loud and pushy as her sister Marian. Beth was always the quiet, solid, dependable Beth. She had a hearing problem she didn’t acknowledge and spoke louder to compensate and sometime she wasn’t in the same conversation as the rest of us.

Beth loved San Francisco and she and her sisters had several homes there over the years and in the end they moved to the suburbs but still close enough to BART that they could travel to the City. Beth had her church group there and they were her friends throughout life. They often went on vacation together. Beth liked the guided tours and cruises with her friends. You wouldn’t find her on top of a camel like Hazel. She wasn’t one to camp out all over the United States. Vacations were places where you went in comfort with friends you have known for a long time. It was a place to be comfortable where guides would let you know what you were seeing and back home the pictures went into neatly labeled albums.

When I think of Beth I think of her and her lost love. She was engaged at the beginning of World War II to a man named Julius. He died in a Japanese prisoner of war camp. I remember a few years ago when I was still living in California her quietly talking about finding a book where his name was mentioned in the appendix as one of the soldiers who died. In her life he was her only love and she wore his ring for decades after his death.

Beth was a quiet, sweet, loving person and her main things in life were her family and her church. She was a life long Catholic and continued to go to church until the end. She doted on her nieces and nephews and their families. She had pictures of her family prominently displayed and lovingly showed visitors the latest additions and pictures of her family.

I don’t think there was a mean bone in Beth’s body. I never heard her bad mouth anyone. She was the true essence of a lady. She was the one who made my mother feel welcome when my Dad married her. She was the one who loved having holidays and family get-togethers at her place.
One of my cousins remarked when he heard about Beth’s dementia, “Well Beth never was the brightest crayon in the box.” Aunt Beth never pretended to be more then what she was. She was always true to herself. She may not have been the “brightest” crayon in the box but she was one of the most beautiful.

Tigers and Hearts

Today we not only celebrate Valentine’s Day but it is also Chinese New Years and we are into the Year of the Tiger. I hope you have a romantic Valentine’s Day with the ones you love and have a great celebration for Chinese New Years.

Changing Art and Life

Nothing stays the same. Life is always changing sometimes for the better sometimes for the worse. You can accept change or you can rail against it for all the good that will do. While being forced to wait for my art computer to be fixed right I decided to do a review of the art work I currently have. Changes will be coming there.

When I could no longer do the pen and ink etchings I use to do because the arthritis was making it impossible to hold the pen for the length of time to do one of those etchings I was really sad. Art has always been a part of my life. I have expanded definition of art to include sewing, crocheting, knitting, stitchery and even cooking. Anything where you can take raw ingredients and turn them into something new and exciting is art as far as I’m concerned. My niece’s wedding dress is a work of art. I took a long piece of material and several types of trim and it became a Princess Bride dress.

I have all of my art work on the old computer because I have a Professional grade printer attached here and I can print and sell the art from this computer. Since I switched to graphic art work done on computer I have the luxury now of going back and making changes. This is a good thing as far as I’m concerned because it not only allows me to make changes it in a way forces me to look at what I’ve done in light of new models and new technology and I have to answer the question of if I’m really satisfied with what I’ve done in the past. In many cases I am but in just as many more I can honestly say I would like the art to be different. It can be made better.

A case in point is my picture “The Queen”. The original was done early in my graphic art career over ten years ago. In the time since then the models have improved dramatically as my checkbook shows with the purchases from DAZ. I was able to redo this picture before my other computer gave up the ghost. The spirit is still there but it is stuck in an endless loop of Windows XP. It is one of the pictures that I use to illustrate my fantasy short story series called “Sean’s Stories” found on my website at http://artbymichelewilson.com/stories.htm. Queen Niri is the High Queen of the Elves in her realm and she needed to be beautiful. While fully realizing that I did the best I could when I did the original I wanted more of the picture and with work it is now more what I wanted.

Does the change in a picture mean that I am no longer happy with my art? No it means I am willing to change what I have for the better because I now can. I did the best I could at the time but if I want to continue to call myself an artist I need to be able to grow. It is that way if life too. I want to continue to grow as a person. I need to be able to adapt and change. I need to learn more patience for example.

So as I wait for our tech at work to fix the computer system there that has been infected by a malicious virus so he can find time to come over and fix my home computer I go through my art work here and decide what changes I want to make. I am learning patience because I can’t make the changes until the art computer is fixed. And of course I always have the old standby of putting “Doctor Who” DVDs in this weekend to relax. Some things change but a Whovian is a Whovian forever.

The Importance of Being Watson

“I don’t know whether the universe, with it’s countless galaxies, stars, and planets, has a deeper meaning or not, but at the very least, it is clear that we humans who live on this earth face the task of making a happy life for ourselves. Therefore, it is important to discover what will bring about the greatest degree of happiness.” Dalai Lama

These last few months have not been happy. My mother has been constantly ill. I have been battling an infection that will not go away and has sapped my energy both physical and emotional. My job has been stressful in the extreme. I work at a small community hospital with its health care crises on a daily basis. The economy has hit home hard here where I live. I get an excellent performance review but my salary is frozen. I have always used my art and bouncing around the Internet as my stress busters and with my art/internet computer constantly down that avenue has been for the most part taken away from me. I can get dial-up on the old computer but I can’t do my fun areas of “Café World” and “Farmville”. I had cultivated a large group of really great neighbors that would allow me to expand and play the games with a real sense of community. It isn’t something that will change the world but it does provide some real fun as we plant, and reap, and care for our farm animals and then head over to our restaurants and cook.

What has been missing in all of the health and computer issues is a sense of serenity that helps me cope. I was cleaning up in the computer room yesterday and as I was dusting the Sherlock Holmes decorations my Dad put up I started thinking about them. He has a head of Sherlock Holmes and a head of Watson done in plaster and painted. I have read all the Sherlock Holmes stories and loved them. Mysteries are one of my favorite forms of reading. I have just started rereading the Judge Dee series by Robert VanGulik that take place in ancient China.

I started thinking about what Sherlock Holmes would be without his Watson or Judge Dee without Tao Gan, Ma Joong, and Chiao Tai. You have the brilliance and genius of Holmes and Dee and other great detectives but it is often the regular ordinary Watson and Judge Dee’s people who come from the common class who are the real inspirations for their genius. It is in the common sense questions that the detectives are asked by their associates that often shows them the answers to the complex problems they are dealing with. The associates are often asked to go out an observe for in their observations of the ordinary and real life the answers are found.

It is in the nature of people who are activists, like I consider myself, that we want to do it all. We want to be the one who makes the difference. We want our voices heard. Sometimes in our rush we forget that we can also be the workers. We can man telephone lines. We can stuff and mail envelopes. We can do the little things that need to be done. We can attend to the quiet needed to make sense out of this loud and strident world.

I don’t know how long I will be without my other computer. I know that one way or another that I will have an art/internet computer again. I need files from the other computer to do the art over here on this one. My tech person from the hospital will be able to find time hopefully in the next few days to come to the house and see what needs to be done. He will either be able to fix the computer or Mom said he can build me a new one salvaging the data drive that has all my art on it. I just need to be patient.

In the meantime I am looking at the art work copies over here and realizing that I want to redo a lot of pictures now that I have new models and better 3D techniques that have been developed over the last few years. I can play Watson to my artist Holmes. I can look at the pictures and say what I like or don’t like about them. I can look and say “what if” and make the changes when I’m up an running again on an art computer. I can listen to the still voice inside instead of raging and hushing it up because I am frustrated.

Something as simple as dusting a room and seeing the decorations my late Dad put up started the search for the calmness I have let get away from me. A request from my Mom that I try and get her some pictures out in the snow contributed. My digital camera has always been hooked up to this computer. Out in the snow I went and armed with new pictures I printed off some of the ones I knew Mom would like. She is feeling lousy too and it made her happy to look at the photos. It made me happy seeing her smile. My favorite picture from yesterday was this one though. I was on my way to the side door when I looked down at our little flower garden there. I snapped the picture and headed inside. As I pulled it up in Photoshop I felt a thrill as I looked at something that looked so cool. My first thought was “alien snow creature” but then I did spend most of the rest of the day watching my “Doctor Who” DVDs.

Today is my day to get back to listening to the calm.