Stop And Smell The Roses

The last two months have been so difficult with trying to cope with Mom’s death. Knowing that her heart could go at any moment did not prepare me for her actually going. My brother and I have been pushing ourselves trying to get everything done now. Last night we came to the realization that we needed to give ourselves time. I have been frustrated because I couldn’t force myself to go through Mom’s clothes. I couldn’t seem to find the energy to go through the closets and drawers and everything that had accumulated over the last few years not only from Mom but of Dad’s things too. We just couldn’t do it.

Last night Mike and I decided to concentrate on getting through the winter here and this Spring we can get the house ready to sell, We are going to give ourselves the time we need to heal. I am going to concentrate on giving Merlin and Pixie the time they need to heal. We are going to stop and smell the roses.

Merlin and Pixie are in the process of trying to come to an agreement on sharing Mommy. It is a reluctant agreement on their parts because they both want to be an only child and have me to themselves. Merlin has decided since I finally figured out that he wanted his own litter box that he will use it and not the bed or rugs to go on. He and Pixie have been switching places with Pixie being upstairs much of the time and he is taking over the downstairs. They share the bed time with me. In time Pixie may even realize that I’m not going to leave her a three in the morning and will let me sleep in.

It was a difficult realization that I couldn’t keep going the way I have been. For my sake and for the cats sake I need to just pull back and take it easy. After being a caregiver for six years I need to give some care to myself.