Street Punk Neurosis

The politest thing you could say about my cat Merlin is that he is a “wuss.” Bravery and Merlin are a complete contradiction in terms. Pixie on the other hand is the brave one. My Mom told everyone who would listen that Pixie was the brave one of the litter and came into the house while her siblings hid. Pixie is definitely the “alpha cat” in the household. I would like to try and say Merlin is a gentleman but unfortunately when a 17½ pound cat runs away from something that is 9 pounds and half his size coward tends to be more appropriate.

It is now three months since that horrible day when my brother came home from work and discovered Mom hadn’t slept in like we thought when we went to work that morning but had a fatal heart attack shortly after going to bed. Pixie stayed with Mom’s body until Mike came home and has avoided Mom’s bedroom ever since. In fact she spends little time downstairs and has taken over Merlin’s upstairs territory. At times it is hard to believe that it has been three months that Mom has been gone and at times it seems like just yesterday.

The stresses from those first few days seem to continue in new and different ways. At times I feel strong enough to stand them and at times I feel like I’m completely losing it. My brother and I pushed the biggest stress, cleaning out and fixing up the house, and selling it until next Spring. I couldn’t cope with it and the stresses of my job at the same time. The one thing I know for sure is that I want out of this little town and back to a larger city. I’ve been here six years caring for my Mom and the town’s people still seem to be surprised that I exist. Most of the cards and letters of consolation were addressed to my brother. No one in this small town cared that I was the caregiver and I was hurting too. I’m the outsider still and they have made it very clear I always will.

As Pixie came to grips with her grief at losing her “grandmother” she did what she had done at the very start. She looked around and decided that someone else was to be “her” person. Of course her person and slavery may be a bit mixed up in her mind. Mom had spoiled Pixie completely. Pixie wanted food she sat on the counter and demanded to be fed. Pixie wanted a nap on Mom’s lap then Mom sat there in the chair and held her for a couple of hours while she slept. I would come home from work and Mom would beg me to take her cat so she could get something done.

o be honest I spoiled Merlin but he at least knows that I have to work and do need some time to myself on the computer. Pixie seems to think every waking hour should be devoted to her. I am now supposed to be her person and lavish the attention that Mom did on her. She doesn’t seem to believe that Merlin counts. After all he had twelve years of being an only child and it is her turn. She chases Merlin away when I’m not watching her. Merlin has taken to leaving cat poop around the house in rooms where I frequent in order to try and mark those territories as his. I tried giving him his own litter box which he seemed to want at first but Pixie decided she liked that one instead. Finally at my wits end I took him to the Vet to make sure nothing was wrong with him. My Senior Citizen is very healthy but has “anger management” issues. The Vet has given me some medicine to help Merlin with the stress. In one of those life is funny moments it turns out to be the kitty version of what I’m taking to try and survive the stress overload I’m under.

So now I come into the kitty political wars. If I can negotiate a truce between these two I want the Nobel Peace Prize. In a way watching these two is like watching politics. On the one hand you have Merlin who was adopted at four weeks and never had to struggle. I’ve always taken care of him. He can be very needy and neurotic. On the other hand we have Pixie who in spite of the fact that my Mom called her a Princess is in reality a little street punk. She was born in the storage shed attached to our house. She decided that she wanted things better and pushed her way in. If Merlin could have an easy life then so can she. The difference is that she will fight for what she wants and Merlin won’t. As for myself I have a neurotic and a street punk and I love them both.