Forgiveness

On Sunday we celebrate the anniversary of a baby’s birth. This child would grow up to meet a terrible death but in doing so he forgave those who persecuted him and put him to death. Forgiveness. That is a very difficult concept for many humans.

The dictionary defines forgive as to excuse for a fault or offense, pardon; to renounce anger or resentment against. The first part is not that hard to do but man that second part is tough!

An incident occurred in one of my newsgroup that got me thinking about the whole issue of forgiveness. A troll who has plagued one of my favorite groups for three years decided to mount a particularly viscous personal attack on me. I went straight to his ISP and demanded action because I was not going to tolerate his slandering me in public. Was I angry? You bet I was. I was furious. His ISP shut him down and the trolls response was to found yet another ID and issue me an apology. This brings up a dilemma, do I forgive him when I know that the apology is insincere? He has done this apology bit many times before. Do I refuse to forgive him because I know it is false?

Looking at the whole concept of forgiveness I decided to see if I really do forgive people who have wronged me. The answer is yes I forgive but I don’t forget. I have mentioned an abusive ex-husband before. To give you just one incident of what life was like with him I woke up at 1:00 AM in the throes of a severe asthma attack. It took him 20 minutes to call an ambulance and get me medical help. By the time the medics got there I was on the verge of choking to death. Do I forgive him? Yes because he is mentally ill, an illness he hid from me before we married. Do I renounce the anger and resentment? Actually I find I do. I will always remember his treatment of me but it serves to make me more cautious in my relationships. I also know to call the police if he tries to come near me.

A jealous coworker forced me out of a job I loved. Do I forgive her? Yes because she is a very unhappy person. Her first position of authority and she alienated every member of her team and lied and falsified records to get rid of those she hated. If it hadn’t been for her though I wouldn’t be here taking care of my mother who needs me. She held on to me for the longest time last night when she hugged me.

The problem with anger and hatred is that it only affects one person, yourself. To let anger and hatred fester inside yourself is harming you. The person who wronged you is not affected in any way. Why harm yourself?

I guess I do need to forgive the troll. Someone who spends three years of their life trolling a newsgroup he knows nothing about has to be a very pathetic individual.

To err is human to forgive is divine. We have heard that many times before. We can learn from the Christ Child to forgive. We can learn from the bad that others do unto us but we can let go of the anger and resentment. It brings a sense of peace to us inside. Hatred only hurts the hater not the hated. Why harm ourselves with an unproductive emotion?