Saturday, August 12, 2006

Kick Back and Relax

I have been just kicking back and relaxing tonight. I did a bit of shopping earlier for myself and my mother. This evening I played around with my art program and have been listening to music. The extreme lethargy has not left and I really don't have the energy to do too much. I'm almost half way into the mega antibiotics and steroids that the doctor is throwing at what ails me. I'll be glad when they start to work. I need to feel better by next weekend because my mother wants us to visit her sister. I always enjoy going there because she is such a sweet person that she automatically makes you feel better just being near her.

Have you noticed that some people stick in your mind because they have an inner glow of joy that surrounds them and reaches out to others? They are people that may never be big stars in life and featured on the cover of People magazine but their impact on individual lives is greater then that of any super star. They reach out from the beauty of their souls to others and touch them in a way that makes them better for having known them.

If I have one hope for in this life of mine I hope that I may in some way help touch others for the better the way some have touched me. I would like to know that I have left this world a little better then when I came into it. I don't look for major changes but if I can in some small way help another person to make their life better then I will feel that I have done the job that God put me here on Earth for.

The picture is called "Out for a Drive."

 

Friday, August 11, 2006

We Made It

We are finally approaching the weekend. Eight hours of insanity and then I can decompress for two days.

Friday night is my only real TV night since it has Stargate SG-1 and Stargate Atlantis. I am a real fan of both shows and no not just because they have some real cute eye candy for the ladies in the presence of Ben Browder and Joe Flannigan and coming back for a few episodes Richard Dean Anderson.

Both shows are touching subjects that while based in science fiction can also be seen as allegories in real life. SG-1 is dealing with a race of beings called the Ori who want to be worshiped as gods and their followers are true fanatics. You either worship their god or be destroyed. We can see in the real life how fanatical adherence to a religious idea can and does lead to horror and bloodshed.

Atlantis deals with a race called the Wraith who suck the life out of humans to live. They live by destroying others. Again in real life we can see how day to day struggles can suck the emotional strength out of a person leaving them a spirit less shell. I sometimes feel that this job of mine is doing that. I come home so weary especially now that I'm trying to recover from two illnesses.

I feel that it is important for every individual to really examine their own lives and see what part s/he allows externals to control their lives. It is important to have a good relation with God but make sure the teachings you are following are God's and not the ideas of a flawed man trying to interpret God into his own skewered way of looking at life. It is also important that you have something in your life that can reenergize you when the day to day living gets you down. For me that is my art and writing and reading. I just finished Dean Koontz's The Husband last night and again marveled at the talent of that man. Tonight I'll kick back for a couple of hours and watch my sci-fi.

The picture is called "The Gate" because it is Stargate night.

 

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Energy Drain

I'm still lagging in the energy department. The medicine makes it hard to eat sometimes and the steroids are making me jittery. I'll be glad when this old body gets back to normal.

I'm finding myself with a major case of the blahs at the moment. Just don't have the incentive to do much of anything. I really need a break but I don't have any vacation until October. Wish I could hop on a shuttle and find that wormhole that would take me to Paradise. In fact that is why I named this picture "Escape to Paradise."

 

Tuesday, August 8, 2006

Butterfly

"You must not let your life run in the ordinary way; do something that nobody else has done, something that will dazzle the world. Show that God's creative principle works in you." Paramahansa Yogananda

On the day my Dad died he was planting a bush. Gardening was one of his loves and remodeling the house and garden was his delight. He keeled over and was dead from a massive heart attack before he hit the ground. Mom tells the story of when she was standing there and as the paramedics were working on Dad that she knew he was dead. She saw a monarch butterfly and it landed on the bush that Dad had planted and stayed there for the longest time. Butterflies are very rarely seen where we live. Mom said she knew the butterfly was a sign from Dad that he was in Heaven and watching over us and that everything would be all right.

The last few weeks have been extremely hard on me both health and emotion wise. There have been major problems at my job. Yesterday as I was heading towards the ladies room I looked out over a small garden and there was a beautiful monarch butterfly. It was the first I had seen in the two years I have been here. Suddenly a feeling of peace came over me and I knew that the things I had been worrying about would be alright. My life will work out in a peaceful and happy manner. When I came home I did this picture that I am calling "Peace."

In my short story series I had my bard hero, Sean, tell a story to a little boy who was very ill. This is the story he told about a very special butterfly.

Once upon a time there was a little boy who lived in a pretty cottage. The little boy’s room faced a beautiful garden. He would sit in his window seat and watch the butterflies as they flitted from flower to flower. The little boy thought that the butterflies were the prettiest things he had ever seen. One day a beautiful black and orange butterfly came and sat on the windowsill. “Hello little boy. I often see you sitting inside looking out at us. Why don’t you come out and play?” the butterfly said.

 

“Oh I can’t,” said the little boy. “I can’t walk good and I tire so easily. My mother says I need to stay inside.”

 

The butterfly flew inside the little boy’s room and sat on the dresser. He could see that the little boy was crippled and could only move around with the aid of crutches. “I understand,” said the butterfly. “We could still be friends though if you would like.”

 

“I would like that,” said the boy,” I have never had a friend. How come you can talk? I didn’t know butterflies could talk.”

 

“That is because I am the Monarch butterfly and King of my kind,” the butterfly said. “I am magical.”

 

The boy smiled. “Oh how wonderful!” he exclaimed. “I know someone who is magical.”

 

The butterfly came back day after day to see the boy. He could tell that the boy was very ill. The Monarch butterfly would tell the boy tales of places he had seen. The boy loved the butterfly’s stories.

 

As time passed the boy became weaker and weaker and there came a time when he could no longer get out of bed. One afternoon after the boy had fallen asleep the butterfly went in search of the boy’s mother. She was sitting at the kitchen table with her head on her arms and tears streaming down her cheeks. The butterfly landed softly on her arm. The woman lifted her head and looked downat the butterfly.

 

“You are the one who has been talking to my son aren’t you?” she asked the butterfly.

 

“Yes I have,” the butterfly replied. “You know he is dying don’t you?”

 

“I know,” she answered. “His life has been so hard. He was born crippled and never had the chance to do things little boys should do. His father walked out because he couldn’t cope with a son that wasn’t perfect.”

 

“Do you believe in magic?” the butterfly asked.

 

“I never did before but then my son kept talking about this magical butterfly and I wanted to believe for his sake,” the mother said.

 

“I can tell you love your child,” the butterfly said. “Do you love him enough to let him go?”

 

“Death will take him soon,” the mother said. “Do you have something better to offer?”

 

“I do but I will need to take him far away from here and you will never see him again,” the butterfly said, “but it is the only place where he will be able to live.”

 

“Where will you take him?” the woman asked.

 

“The place where butterflies live forever in peace and beauty,” the Monarch butterfly answered.

 

“Take him,” the woman said softly.

 

“You will be lonely without him,” the butterfly said. “Are you sure?”

 

“Yes, I’m sure. If I knew he was happy and well then those memories will sustain me through my loneliness,” the woman said.

 

The butterfly flew up and gently touched the woman’s cheek. The woman would say in the years that followed that she had been kissed by the butterfly.

 

The butterfly flew into the boy’s room and landed on his hand. The boy woke and smiled weakly.

 

“Your mother said you could come with me,” the butterfly said.

 

The boy looked over towards the doorway where his mother stood. She smiled at him and said, “Go with him my love.”

 

The boy smiled back at her. “What do I need to do?” he asked the butterfly.

 

“Nothing, just follow me,” the butterfly replied. As the butterfly left the boy’s hand the boy turned into a beautiful butterfly. The Monarch butterfly led the new butterfly out the window and they flew to a land that was so beautiful that it has become the land of dreams.

 

Saturday, August 5, 2006

Escape

Do you ever have one of those days where you wish you could just climb into a spaceship and escape to somewhere, anywhere? I went back to work of Friday even though I was still feeling really sick and felt like I had walked into Hell. A really bad day all around.

I see my doctor on Tuesday and hopefully he can give me something to knock these multiple infections off.

There are two pictures the first is "Escape From" and the other is "Escape To."

 

Thursday, August 3, 2006

Short Break

I had an extraordinary scare yesterday. I had awakened at 5 AM feeling really sick but struggled into work any ways. At 10 AM I was doubled over in excruciating pain with muscle spasms hitting a band around the abdominal area in waves. Several hours in the Emergency Room later it was diagnosed as that new strain of flu going around. This is really nasty stuff. It will probably be a couple of days before I really feel like writing here again. The picture shows how my insides feel.

 

 

Tuesday, August 1, 2006

Weird World

If you don't believe we are living in a strange world all you need to do is read the news. There has been more then enough weirdness in the last couple of days. Mel Gibson's public meltdown and rant against the Jews couldn't have come at a worse time. The murder in Seattle, simply because someone was mad at Israel, shows how volatile things are for our Jewish brethren. I would hope that this would be a wake up call for Mr. Gibson to admit once and for all he is an alcoholic and he mustn’t touch alcohol again. Ever. Not even one drink. He is the only person who can help himself. His wife and children and friends are all helpless to make him stop drinking. Only he can do so. Once he gets himself sobered up he needs to find out where this animosity towards Jews comes from and remove it from his life. Jesus was a Jew and anti-Semitism has no place in a true Christian life.

Another story that had me shaking my head was rock star Alice Cooper planning to form a Christian camp for kids. Alice Cooper? He of the goth make-up etc.? Yes that Alice. He says that his rock persona is an act and the real proof of his life is in his behavior. A husband and father for 30 years without cheating. He gives his money for scholarships to young people who follow good Christian standards. It is how you live your life that counts. God cares what is in your soul not what is on your body.

The third story that gave me a chuckle this morning is from Michael Moore. Mr. Moore is saying that he has gone from fearing he would never work again because of his remarks at the Oscars to having conservative Republicans giving him hugs. If conservative Republicans and a liberal gadfly can hug and be civil then the rest of us can be civil to each other too.

As with many people my prayers go out to those involved in the Middle East conflict. I pray that there will be a solution that will allow everyone to live in peace and dignity. We need a solution that stops terrorism and allows Israel to live as a country without fear.

The picture is called "Chaos."