Thursday Tumbleweeds

 

"Where are you searching for me, friend? Look! Here I am right within you. Not in temple, not in mosque, not in Kaaba nor Kailas, but here right within you am I." Kabir

For a short work week it sure seems long. It sure feels like it should be Friday. It is starting to get hot out here and that makes my bedroom hot and that makes Merlin grouchier then normal and he keeps waking me up during the night. I keep a fan turned on the bed so he can get cool air but he prefers to complain. Gee can you tell my ex picked him out? ;-)

I was playing on the computer last night and ended up doing a picture I called Fire and Ice. I liked the contrast between the cold surface with its ice and snow and the hot colors of the ringed planet.

I have always been fascinated by the opposites that make up life. I find even in dress that I alternate between warm and cool colors. This week I have felt like hot colors and am wearing lots of pinks and yellows and other warm colors. Last week I was into the blues and cool colors.

In families you find opposites in personalities. I am much more liberal then my older brother who has the bedroom next to me. He is an ultra conservative. Yet even he the other night was commenting that something has to be done about health care in this country and that even though he doesn't like the idea of the government run health service we may have to do something like that because too many people can not afford health care and the insurance companies have too big of a control over what can or can not be done. Once I got over the shock of him actually saying something sensible I agreed with him.

It is true that in relationships a lot of time opposites attract. We like to explore things that are different from ourselves. Certainly my ex and I were opposites but I do believe next time around I'm looking for someone who is more like me in personality. I definitely am looking for an optimist. Pessimism really is a drag to have to deal with on a daily basis.

I think man's search for truth or God comes in part with the search for something greater then ourselves. We recognize our liabilities and yearn for something better. We sometimes look for something better in the wrong places. As today's quote says if we want God we need to search within. God is in all of us.

The real counter is 5323.

What the Wednesday

"Find friends who love the truth." The Dhammapada

"People who fight with other human beings out of anger, hatred, and strong emotion, even if they gain victory over their enemies in battle, are not in reality true heroes. What they are doing is slaying corpses, because human beings, being transient, will die. Whether or not these enemies die in the battle is another question, but they will die at some point. So, in reality they are slaying those already destined to die. The true hero is the one who gains victory over hatred and anger." Dalai Lama

I got a shock the other day when I started reading about the medicine that I had been taking off and on for my asthma. There has always been a doubt in my mind about the medicine and I haven't taken it as prescribed. I got off of it completely and after a couple months tried it again just to see if my suspicions were right. I had a feeling it was making my asthma worse. It was. After reading the literature on Advair I'm stopping it completely. This medicine isn't for asthma that is fairly under control like mine and it can cause asthma related death. Yikes! I have decided that from now on I read all literature before I take a medicine not after. I really have to wonder about the drug companies allowing something on the market and promoting it so heavily without making the consequences of using the medicine clearer from the start. Why didn't my doctor's warn me? Their have been three different doctors who ordered this.

I read Cindy Sheehan's letter the other day with a great deal of sadness. She typifies what I hate most about politics. She started out just wanting to know why her son died in Iraq. She has been vilified by one side and used by another and no one stopped to realize she was a mother in pain. I hope she can finally find some solace and peace.

I had never thought of anger before in the terms that the Dalai Lama used today. Anger is something that I struggle with and try to overcome on a daily basis. There are always little things during the day that can irk a person. The coffee wasn't ready this morning when I got up. Mom usually makes it for me the night before but she didn't last night. I was irked until I brought myself up short and reminded myself that I let her do it because she wants to set it up. It is her gift to me and I should be grateful when she does and if she doesn't remember I am perfectly capable of doing it myself. As long as I get my morning coffee it doesn't matter who makes it. So thanks Mom for all the mornings you do set the coffee up for me. I really appreciate it.

Today's quote made me realize that I still have animosity towards some people in my life that I need to let go of that animosity. Life is too short and too transient to keep up the anger. That is what I am going to work on.

The picture is called Flights of Fancy. I was playing around this weekend and wanted lots of color and felt like soaring.

The real counter is 5309.

Too Much Tuseday

"Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged with man." Rabindranath Tagore

"Decisions become wrong decisions under the influence of inner armament." Dalai Lama

I was planning on updating my web site this weekend. Unfortunately AOL messed up their system AGAIN and I couldn't do so. I kept getting this "Sorry. Too many gateways sessions." error that apparently has been going on for three weeks and AOL still doesn't have it solved. In addition when you bring up my current pages it doesn't bring up half of the pictures. Grrrrr!!!!!!!

The major problem of where I live is that the choices of providers are basically AOL or a local incompetent carrier. I'm in the boondocks and am pretty much stuck with what I have. I really feel that AOL should be doing a whole lot better of a job for the amount of money they charge for their service. That is a problem with a lot of consumer oriented products. Lack of service and quality.

There seems to be very little commitment to quality these days on all fronts. If you have ever tried calling a help line and keep getting connected with someone in a different country who follows a "script" you know exactly what I am talking about. Customer Service what a joke! I have done customer service for much of my life and feel like a dinosaur many times now because I believe that I am supposed to help the customer. Any more it seems people in that profession are just place holding while they try and find another more lucrative job.

The picture is called GERD because that is what gets kicked up every time I have to deal with poor service.

The real counter is 5304.

Memories on Memorial Day

 

"Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day." Dalai Lama

"It is crucial to be mindful of death - to contemplate that you will not remain long in this life." Dalai Lama

Today is Memorial Day here in the United States. It is a day we set aside to remember the brave men and women in our armed forces. Today I am thinking of the four people in my family who were involved in World War II: my Dad, my Uncle Gene, my Uncle Bud, and my Aunt Hazel. I don't want to think about them with sadness today. I want to remember them with joy and humor.

My Dad had a very droll and off the wall sense of humor. It is where I inherited my sense of humor from. My niece reminded of an incident that involved Dad and Uncle Bud. I was the first person in my family to graduate from college. I was the first female in my Mom's huge family to graduate. My Uncle Bud was so proud of me and he came out to my graduation in Denver, Colorado. My Uncle was a good man but like many of his generation he was prejudiced against non-whites. Now me I'm color blind when it comes to that and it happens that my date for the Senior Dinner was the editor of the college newspaper that I worked on who happened to be black. My Dad "forgot" to remind my Uncle how quickly alcohol can hit the old brain in high altitudes if you haven't acclimated to that altitude. Dad figured that getting my Uncle looped was better then listening to him spout racial slurs. The drinks made Uncle Bud quite mellow and he ignored the fact that Tom was black after a while.

My Uncle Gene, according to his sisters, was a rotten little kid. My poor Mom was his favorite target. When he was in the Veteran's Home near the end of his life we would drive up and pick up Mom's older sister and go visit him. Mom would have me make cards on my computer that would remind him of when they were kids and the stunts he pulled. You could see the mischief in his eyes as he read those cards and could tell he wasn't one bit sorry about all the things he pulled on Mom. Definitely a rotten little kid even as an adult. Uncle Gene didn't have much of an education and worked mainly at janitorial type jobs. He too was proud when I graduated from college and sent me some hard earned money as a gift. He wanted me to get something special with it. It turns out that a friend at college had taught me how to knit and I bought yarn to make an afghan. There were five colors, a multicolored yarn in reds, yellows, gold, and oranges and solid color yarns in ruby red, yellow, gold, and orange. When I finished the afghan I took a picture and sent it to Uncle Gene. Every time I use that afghan I think of him.

My Aunt Hazel was my role model in life. She showed me that a woman could achieve what she wanted and that life didn’t have to be unfulfilled just because a woman wasn't married. Aunt Hazel was always taking off for trips all over the world and when she retired from her job as a legal secretary she started doing Senior Hostel Trips where she visited parts of the world and studied things at the country she was in. One of my fondest memories was visiting her one evening before she and her sisters made a trip to Germany. I had minored in German and Hazel had bought a phrase book and wanted me to teach her how to pronounce German correctly. It turns out that she had purchased a phrase book that was made in England. The evening ended with us both in fits of giggles as we were happily translating phrases about English tea and the bonnet and boot of the car. One thing I will never forget is the fact that Aunt Hazel was so proud of me when I was running my science fiction conventions. It still gives me a glow to realize that to my hero I was a hero too.

So for Dad, Uncle Gene, Uncle Bud and Aunt Hazel I send my love on this Memorial Day. The picture is also called Memorial Day.

The real counter is 5298.

Geek Holiday

Friday was a major holiday for Geeks everywhere. It was the 30th anniversary of Star Wars. I remember hearing about the movie before it came out at science fiction conventions that I frequented. We knew it was going to be special it was just trying to get the mundanes to listen to us. When it absolutely exploded onto the scene we were there cheering it on.

A true Geek can tell you most of the dialog and every continuity error in the whole six series of films. Mark Hamil's "Carrie" slip up anyone? ;-)

One thing that Star Wars did do for us Geeks is make it a little more acceptable to be a Geek. It is hard growing up different and for those of us for whom school was something that we actually enjoyed for the learning experience being different was not always easy. We had our conventions though and even if everyone else thought we were weird we had fun.

Star Wars was a lot of people's introduction to the world of mythology. I don't think Joseph Campbell would have been as popular if Star Wars hadn't come along. It is no coincidence that his Power of Myth series was filmed at George Lucas's Skywalker Ranch. George was a big fan of Campbell.

My absolute favorite time seeing the original Star Wars was in  San Francisco the second time around. My brother, sister-in-law and I went on a Friday night after work. The early showing was sold out so we got tickets for the later showing and along with the much of the audience for the later showing went to the bar next door. I don't know what was in their special Star Wars drink but we were probably one of the happiest audiences that film has ever seen. You could tell those members of the audience who had been next door because we were the ones cheering our own special person on. Me I was with the Han Solo brigade.

So congratulations to George Lucas, one of our own Geeks. And thanks for 30 wonderful years. What a ride.

The picture is called Dogfight and with a little luck the dragon can count on the Millennium Falcon showing up to help out. I'm sure the dragon could make it worth Han's while.

Wet Weekend

 

"The practice of altruism is the authentic way of conducting human life, and is not limited to the religious." Dalai Lama

"Forgetfulness of self is remembrance of God." Bayazid al-Bistami

It has been a very soggy weekend so far with more rain coming in. We need the rain so I shouldn't complain too much. We spent yesterday waiting for repairmen to come and they didn't make it until late today. At least we will be able to get the air conditioners installed upstairs where it has been getting real hot. I worry about Merlin because he refuses to go downstairs where it is cooler.

I have been spending the weekend working on art work. I changed one picture because I didn't like the background. I did two others and I'm working on my third picture for Memorial Day.

I was reading the other day about the wave of books that are coming out now slamming religion. Atheists have always been vocal but now their books are starting to make the best seller lists. For me belief in God is part of who I am. I can understand though why many people are upset with organized religion. There is a lot of hatred in the words and actions of many people who claim to believe in God. Fundamentalists of many religions are the worst offenders. The intolerance of beliefs that differ from their own really gives a bad taste to religion in general.

My belief is that there is one God and he is the same God regardless of how you perceive Him/Her. I don't think any one religion has the complete answer. I can not understand how anyone can profess to believe in God and then preach hatred of any group of people. It seems like a total contradiction. If God made us in his own image and loves us how can we spout hatred in His/Her name? It doesn't make sense. It is turning people away from God and that is a very sad thing.

The picture is called Shelter From the Storm. God is my shelter in the storms that have hit my life.

The real counter is 5289.

Bopping Through Friday

 

"If in a competitive society you are sincere and honest, in some circumstances people may take advantage of you. If you let someone do so, he or she will be engaging in an unsuitable action and accumulating bad karma that will harm the person in the future. Thus it is permissible, with an altruistic motivation, to take counteraction in order to prevent the other person from having to undergo the effects of this wrong action." Dalai Lama

In other words you are your brother's keeper like it or not. That is something we have a tendency to forget or wish we could forget sometimes. It is hard enough to take care of ourselves without having to watch over every one else.

Like many people I have a three day weekend coming up and I'm looking forward to the time off. With the outrageous gas prices I doubt that we will go anywhere in our house. I mean come on $3.58 a gallon? You really expect me to believe that the gas companies aren't jacking up the prices just to line their own pockets? It is really time to crack down on these monopolies.

I'll probably spend the weekend going through magazines and cutting out recipes that look interesting. I'm hoping Food TV has an interesting series of shows for the Memorial Day weekend. If not I'll probably stick in Lord of the Rings again and watch that. I'm also planning to be on line surfing the Web and getting caught up reading places I like. Let the mouse do the driving it is cheaper that way.

My brother is coming out in July to find out what is wrong with the computer that he sent me. This weekend will be the perfect time to get caught up on backing up this computer. I've done lots of new pictures since I backed it up last.

I have been working on a new picture but the dragon is being particularly difficult this time. It doesn't want to come out right. Sigh. Sometimes these mythical beasts are more trouble then they are worth but this particular picture needs the dragon in the sky so I'll try one more texture on it and see if it will come out right this time. The picture is called Celestial Dragon and the dragon did come out right in this picture. Maybe he can talk to his brother. ;-)

The real counter is 5278

Picking Yourself Up

 

"We must find a way to present basic human values to everyone - and present them not as religious matters but as secular ethics that are essential whether you are religious or not." Dalai Lama

"Fall seven times, stand up eight." Japanese proverb

One thing about life is that it never stops changing. Life has a tendency to throw bean balls at you and you find yourself having to pick yourself up and start over once again. That has to be the hardest thing that life expects of you to be able to get up off the ground and start again.

Sometimes it isn't easy. If you have come out of a failed marriage it is hard to trust yourself to do the dating game again. I'm finding it difficult to even want to date much. I've gone out a few times since my divorce but I just haven't found someone that I am comfortable with. Maybe I have raised the bar too high but I find I would rather be alone then stuck in a relationship with someone I'm not totally compatible with.

My job tends to be stressful but I would rather stay with it then to try and go out and look for another one. Part of that is because I like my boss and it is nice to work for someone who appreciates your efforts and behaves in an ethical manner. After the fiasco that ended my last job I would rather stay in my comfort zone.

I guess maybe sometimes I am too hard on myself. Maybe I should just relax and go with the moment. Change is inevitable and will come whether I want it to or not. Right now I should learn to enjoy being in the same old, same old. I have a three day weekend coming up and plan to do nothing really. I'm in a cookbook reading mood so I'll probably just go through the magazines that are stacking up and cut the recipes out that look like they would be fun to do.

Maybe we should learn to enjoy the comfort zone while we are in it. As Scarlet says "tomorrow is another day." Today I'll just enjoy it as it comes.

The real counter is 5271

Listen to the Heart

"It is not enough to be compassionate. You must act. There are two aspects to action. One is to overcome the distortions and afflictions of your own mind, that is, in terms of calming and eventually dispelling anger. This is action out of compassion. The other is more social, more public. When something needs to be done in the world to rectify wrongs, if one is really concerned with benefiting others, one needs to be engaged, involved." Dalai Lama

Ironically I read that quote from the Dalai Lama yesterday before I went to work. Something happened at work to reinforce what he was saying. We had a customer come in who was very upset over her bill. The lady who took over my position when I moved on to another was "handling" the problem. I intervened when it became obvious that she didn't know the answers to the problem. I walked her through what needed to be done but she eventually left it to me to deal with the distraught woman. The answer to the discrepancy in the bill isn't important. What is important is the fact that my coworker was unable to see that there was a bigger problem that caused the woman to be so upset. I solved the problem with the cooperation of our boss.

The real problem came from the fact that my coworker had talked to the woman on the phone the previous day and was focusing only on the bottom line of this much was owed. She was incapable of sensing that there was a deeper issue. My coworker didn't investigate the problem correctly in order to give the lady the answer to what was going on. This caused the lady to hang up on her and come in the next day even more upset then when she originally called. My coworker focused on her own anger rather then listening to the customer. My coworker is infamous for her little "my feelings are hurt" routine if anyone tries to correct her when she makes a mistake. By focusing solely on herself she was incapable of focusing on the customer.

The amount the lady was questioning was not that great so what was the real root of the problem? I started out with her by being at my calmest and really listening to her not just with my ears and mind but with my heart. She was radiating waves of hurt. It turned out that her husband is dying and she is overwhelmed with bills, emotions, and fear. By focusing on her I was able to get to the root of the problem and understand why this small amount became so big in her eyes. My boss saw it too and since the mistake was on our end she forgave the rest of the debt.

I gave the woman, who was a total stranger, hugs, Kleenex for her tears, and someone to listen and give her comfort and understanding. The woman started apologizing and I let her know that it was all right. I understood why she was really upset.

One thing I have learned over the years in dealing with people is that you have to listen with more then your ears. Your eyes can see the body language of the other person. Your ears can listen to the tone of voice and your mind analyze the choice of words. It is only when you allow yourself to be empathetic and listen with your heart that you can really understand what someone else is saying.

My boss asked me later if I was all right and I assured her that I was fine. I told her that the customer needed a hug and Kleenex and someone to listen. My boss just smiled and I could tell she understood what I was saying.

The difference between hearing and listening is a matter of focus. When you hear you are focusing on yourself and what you are feeling. When you listen you are focusing on the other person and understanding what they are feeling. Listen with your heart.

The real counter is 5265.

Diversity

"Open your heart and speak. Open your eyes and see. At the moment that you look with your eyes wide open, everywhere you will find differences, an infinite variety." Swami Prajnanpad

My favorite show went out with a bang last night. The ending was definitely an "I didn't see that coming" moment. After setting up the politician Nathan as a win at any cost, me first, sort of person he actually showed love and compassion at the end towards the baby brother who loved him. It was quite touching. Of course being Heroes the show ended up starting a whole bunch of new questions that we can argue and debate about on the web until the show starts up again. At least NBC is going to give us a filler until the new shows start. I sure hope Origins can live up to the standards that Heroes has set.

There is certainly a lot of diversity in the world. In my own house while I was watching Heroes my brother was watching 24. I had to remind him not to call his daughter during Heroes since she would have let the phone go to the answering machine just like I would.

I think it is the things that make us different that makes the world so fascinating. If everybody were the same how boring this world would be. One of my favorite stories is by the late Kurt Vonnegut called Welcome to the Monkey House. In the story everyone by law had to be the same as everyone else. If you had a certain talent it had to be suppressed so that you showed no more talent then anyone else. An episode of one of my favorite television shows The Prisoner touched on that theme in the episode The General where everyone was fed information on certain subjects. They were all happy little cabbages parroting back the information they had "learned."

I think that we are sometimes too afraid of change and long for things to stay just the same. We don't like being taken out of our comfortable little niche in life. We like the same old, same old. I get that way myself sometimes. However life does have a way of handing us surprises that shake up our world, sometimes in a big way and sometimes in a small way.

My Dad's sudden death shattered my world during a time that it was already shaken by the break up of my marriage. There were times when I didn't think I could cope with it all. I learned however that I could adjust and strike out in different ways and survive. I learned how to change my life and it has changed for the better. I am a stronger person then I was before. Through pain I gained a new perspective on life.

The simple addition of a black kitten into our household has changed life considerably. Pixie has brought a new joy to my mother. She isn't as depressed as she was when I first started living here. It is a small change but a significant change in the way my Mom sees the world now.

When I walk I take my camera with me and it is the different shots that I am looking for. I like pictures that have a contrast to them. I like life to be diverse and in my art, writing, and photography I try to express that. With all our differences we are still part of the whole that is the human race. I have learned to be proud of who I am and where I have come from. I am proud of my diverse ethnic, cultural, and religious background. As Popeye would say, "I am what I am and that's all that I am." I have learned to accept me as me with all my flaws. Of course that doesn't mean I have to accept the flaws will always be there because I can always work on being a better me. The picture was taken at the park where the little yellow flower was growing in a crack in the concrete. What a brave little flower.

The real counter is 5255.

That Explains It

Okay so the reason AOL wouldn't let me put the new picture up was because I forgot to make it smaller when I put it into my other file. I left it 1024x768 and AOL couldn't handle it. So it is now 480x360 and AOL isn't having a temper tantrum. Dumb program. Sheesh! The picture is called Wondrous Things.

That Monday Thing

"To live completely, fully, in the moment is to live with what is, the actual, without any sense of condemnation or justification - then you understand it so totally that you are finished with it." Krishnamurti

"Great compassion and wisdom are the chief qualities of the Buddha. Even in worldly terms, the more intelligent and knowledgeable a person is, the more the person commands respect. Similarly the more compassionate, kind, and gentle a person, the more he or she should be respected. So if you are able to develop that intelligence and altruism to their fullest extent, then you are truly admirable and deserve to be respected." Dalai Lama

I usually wake up before the alarm clock goes off. To be more accurate the cats usually wake me up before the clock goes off. This morning I realized how truly an obnoxious sound my alarm clock makes but it does its purpose and wakes me up. It also gets my heart racing and endangers various limbs as I thrash around trying to get loose of the covers and turn the blasted thing off. I'm surprised to find that I'm not surrounded by ghosts like the kid in The Sixth Sense because that alarm could wake the dead.

I find that I'm not dreaming as much lately. It may be because I wake up so much during the night that I don't either get into dream state that much or I'm not remembering my dreams as much as I use to. I would like to know why Paris Hilton was driving a school bus in my dreams last night though. I really do need a better script writer for my dreams since the often make no sense at all.

I like the quote from the Dalai Lama today. It resonates with my life in that it stresses not only intelligence but compassion. I have met many intelligent people in my life who are totally lacking in compassion and I have met compassionate people who aren't the brightest bulbs on the string. The people that have stuck in my mind are the people who strive to both strengthen their intelligence and their capacity to love one another. You can be the most knowledgeable person about the subject at hand but if that intelligence is not tempered with compassion that knowledge then comes out as pure arrogance. Arrogance is not knowledge. Arrogance is showing off your self perceived brilliance. A man is at his best when intelligence is accompanied by humility. The truly intelligent teach quietly without fireworks.

So today my goal is to use both my intelligence and compassion to their fullest. Not a bad way to start out that Monday thing.

The real counter is 5237.

A Different Day

It was kind of frenetic yesterday so today I kicked back and got some things done around the house that I needed to do. Mother is taking the day off from work so I got the flower pots outside done for her. We went with silk flowers because we can't keep the dumb squirrels from digging up her plants when we go live. I got the flowers yesterday. I also got the new flowers for Daddy's grave that I put together into an arrangement.

Yesterday between all the shopping and then walking over to the university and taking pictures I wore myself out. Today I stuck close to home. I cleaned the upstairs and got my clothes ironed for the week. It is suppose to be hot this week so I'm going all summery in clothes choices. Now that I got finished what I wanted to do I'm going to kick back and relax.

Sometimes in the hustle and bustle world you need to slow down and kick back and relax a bit. We seem to over schedule our lives and think if we aren't busy every single moment then we aren't living a fulfilled life. How can we know if we are living a good life if we don't stop once in a while and take stock of how our life is? I do not believe that he who dies with the most toys wins. He who has loved and is loved is the real winner.

AOL is acting up again and won't upload for me. I did a new picture last night that I will show whenever AOL gets their act together.

The real counter is 5225.

Silly Saturday

"Duties to self, to the family, to the country, and the world are not independent of one another." Mahatma Gandhi

It seems AOL has part of the problem solved and we can put pictures in without the special effects. However, being AOL, they took out the spell check and you can't fix any of the old posts to take out the special effects on the pictures you had in previously and didn’t want special effects on. Sigh!

I went out walking again after work yesterday and got a couple of really pretty shots. I'll probably head off today and tomorrow as well and get some more pictures. I need to figure out which direction I haven't headed and go that way. Maybe I'll even find that college that is supposed to be up the street from us. It is supposed to have some pretty places to walk.

The Sci-Fi channel is having a Heroes marathon today and showing 21 hours so that we can get caught up on any episodes we missed before Monday's finale. I was so happy because I missed episodes one and three so I had planned to get up at nine this morning and catch those two before I headed out for the weekly shopping. Silly Sci-Fi decided to start with episode ten and show to the end and then do the early ones. My episodes are on at 10 PM and Midnight. Somehow the logic of this escapes me.

I am glad the weekend is here. I really need a break from the whining at work. I try to keep a sense of humor at all times but sometimes it is really hard. I must say that it was amusing to watch one of my coworkers who snapped at me for letting her know what went on at a meeting that occurred before she got there and watching her have to back track and apologize when she calmed down and realized that she had really goofed and the others were not going to tell her what to do on the project I was trying to tell her about that the boss needed done. I took off and went to lunch after firmly telling her she was out of line and to cut it out. She apologized after I got back and of course I forgave her. It would be silly to do other wise.

Sometimes you have to stop and realize how silly it is to hold a grudge. Who are you harming with your attitude? Does the person you are "mad" at really care? Of course they don't care they just go on with their own lives in spite of your feelings. It doesn't affect them one bit. The only one it affects is you so you might as well stop being silly and let go.

So I am off to face the Wal-Mart crowd, do some house cleaning, and take CP out for some more pictures. CP is my nickname for my Cannon Power Shot A95, a really sweet little digital camera.

The real counter is 5213

Friday Go Round the Mulberry Bush

"There is no weapon more powerful in achieving the truth than acceptance of oneself." Swami Prajnanpad

I spent much of last night wrestling with the AOL Journals that AOL decided to "upgrade" without telling us of course and in the process messed up everybody's graphics. Sigh! Grrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!! Of course they never bothered to ask us if we wanted to change. So apologies to those getting a headache from the new moving pictures. Hopefully AOL will put back in the feature that says "no special effects."

The last few weeks the arthritis in my spine has gotten a lot worse. I'm not sure what is up but I have been in constant pain especially in the neck area. I'm going to try and find my Tai-Chi tape in hopes that maybe the gentle stretching exercises may loosen things up and make it easier to move.

I have my website updated with some new pictures of spring flowers. I found iris blooming this time with the lilac, purple and dark blue varieties most prominent. Iris are such interesting flowers I really love them.

The novel is off to one of my friends who is experienced in editing so I am anxiously awaiting her take on the book. I'm confident with her helping me that we can get this into publishable form. Exciting times but a bit nerve wracking as well.

This weekend I need to get flowers for Mom. She wants me to do a new bouquet with a flag for Dad's grave for Memorial Day. My brother will take the flowers out. So far neither Mom nor I have been out to Dad's grave since the day he was buried. Neither one of us can handle it.

Since the squirrels will not leave Mom's planters alone I'll be doing silk flower arrangements outside as well. I have some flowers from last year that I need to look at and then decide how I want to augment them this year. We have a pretty little cottage style house that has just been repainted in light gold so I will be doing the warm colors a accents. Mom has always loved the way I arrange flowers for her so I am being given free reign.

Work has officially taken my name and phone number off of the Patient Account's  statements. I guess my new job of number cruncher is official. I still do some care of patients but looking at numbers all day is what I mainly do. I am real good at accounting so I can't complain. I think it is contributing to my arthritis in my spine acting up though. I am either hunched over a computer or lifting heavy files up and down looking for documentation. Oh well what can't be changed must be endured.

So hi-ho, hi-ho off to the nut house I go. ;-)

The real counter is 5196.

Hugs

"Some years ago I met some scientists in the United States who said that the rate of mental illness in their country was quite high - around twelve percent of the population. It became clear during our discussion that the main cause of the depression was not lack of material necessities but a deprivation of the affection of others. This is very sad. Humans are not solitary animals that associate only in order to mate." Dalai Lama

AOL has been acting up the last couple of days so I hope that this addition to my journal comes through okay. It took forever to update my website last night since the system had trouble recognizing that I wasn't a "guest" trying to update someone else's site.

My mother brought home to me last night the value of hugs. She was talking to her sister last night when I came down to say goodnight. I always give her a hug and kiss goodnight. She was mentioning that to her sister and both of them were exclaiming how special that was that I did that.

I have a button in the top drawer of my chest that says "You can't get AIDS from a hug." It comes from the last science fiction convention that I ran. My charity for that convention was Starcross (http://www.starcross.org/) a small lay person community dedicated to helping children with AIDS. The button was very important to me because one of my guests, Ray Sharkey, had just been diagnosed with AIDS. Ray was a fabulous guest, opinionated, funny, entertaining. I'll never forget him asking my staff if he needed to come rescue me when a couple of them were dragging me towards Hospitality because I hadn't eaten that day. Right before he left I finally had a chance to really meet him and he saw my button and his eyes lit up. He gave me a big hug before he left.

Hugs may seem like a small thing but they can mean so much. They can say "I love you", "I'm sorry you are hurting", "I care." I have a t-shirt that asks "Have you hugged your cat today?" Well I have and do every day. Animals need a bit of affection also.

Hugs are the most powerful thing that you can do with your arms.

AOL is very messed up andI can't figure out how to get it to stop moving the pictures around. The picture is called To Touch the Stars and was done for a friend who has a Downs Syndrome child.

The real counter is 5178.

Oh Boy and Ah Man

Two phrases I tend to use a lot are "Oh Boy" and "Ah Man" both used is television shows that I loved. Sam in Quantum Leap would say "oh boy" when he would leap and find out the new situation he had jumped into and Mac in MacGyver used "ah man" when something wouldn't go as expected.

Both phrases jumped into my mind since last night. Mom finally felt well enough to come upstairs and saw my Waterfall picture for the first time and just loves it. She was especially enthusiastic about how "real" it looked. The second coming of my phrases came with this morning's mail and finding out that another artist wants my advice in my new newsgroup. It is so gratifying to get respect from a fellow artist. I experienced a lot of that respect when I was living in California and this new show of respect more then makes up for a couple of jerks in the old group.

Oh boy, ah man, yes, ack you can't do that, all came out of my mouth last night during Heroes. It was the build-up to next week's Season One finale. Where to start? Okay the first big "yeah!" came from finding out that Hiro's Dad was NOT a bad guy after all. The fact that his Dad is played by one of my favorite "nice guys" George Takei was one of the reasons I was glad that he turned out to be a good guy. Granted George is an incredible actor and can play villains but I really wanted this one to turn out to be a good guy.

The other thing that got to me was the willingness of the politician Nathan to double cross Linderman who got him the election by cheating. Part of my cynicism towards politics comes into play when I wasn't surprised. I can't decide and neither can the writers whether Nathan is a good guy or bad guy or several shades of gray. He is fascinating however I have to admit that.

Whether Linderman is really dead or not is still a puzzle. He looked quite dead as does DL. The head heavy Thomson bit the dust. I can't tell if HRG will survive or not. All in all the episode should have been subtitled "Bloodbath." Next week will show whether the remaining heroes can pull together and stop Sylar from blowing up New York City.

All in all I must say as a long time science fiction/fantasy buff I have been very impressed with this show. It does take some ability to suspend disbelief but once you allow yourself to do that you are taken on a roller coaster ride. I was thrilled to see that NBC is taking us geeks seriously and will show a spin off Origins to flesh out the Heroes world during the hiatus of our show and tell us about some of the others. I am hoping from the title that we will get to know the previous group of super powers that have been alluded to in the current show. It isn't often that a major network will actually give geeks what they really want to see.

The picture is called The Gate and is from another of this geek's favorite shows Stargate.

The real counter is 5155.

 

At Its Best

I was working on my newest picture this weekend and I wanted to have a waterfall in it. I was pleased with how it came out. It started me on a mini vacation trip picturing some of the places I have seen. Since my photo albums are in storage I relied on my mind to do a slide show of remembered images.

Crater Lake and Silver Creek Falls in Oregon came immediately to mind. Dad and I stopped by there on our way home from college one year. Wow! Talk about gorgeous that place is it. It has everything waterfalls, lakes, trees, mountains. I love that type of scenery.

Lake Tahoe in California/Nevada depending on which shore you are on. It is a beautiful drive through the mountains and then you see this blue, blue lake stretching out before you. Breath taking! The mountains as you are heading towards skiing are beautiful to behold.

The Grand Canyon and the Painted Desert in Arizona. The Colorado River may be one of the best sculptors in the world. The magnificent colors and textures of the rock that has been carved away over the eons of time is a sight everyone should see at least once. The Painted Desert also has gorgeous colors.

Red Rocks in Colorado is another wonder I have seen. They have a amphitheater carved into the rocks and I remember seeing the Moody Blues there. The acoustics are phenomenal. They were doing Nights in White Satin and as they hit the crescendo in that song the clouds that had been covering the sky that night suddenly passed and we saw the moon and stars shining down. No special effects team in the world could have topped it.

When living in Colorado we would go to the Scotch/Irish Festival in Estes Park. A slice of heaven on earth. It was surrounded on all sides by huge mountains often still topped with snow. What a place to spend the weekend and reconnect with your roots at the same time.

Two bridges on opposite coasts are a sight to see. In New York City we saw the Brooklyn Bridge where it begins. We also saw the Statue of Liberty and even though we couldn't go on it at that time it was still an awe inspiring sight. On the other coast I remember showing visitors from England the Golden Gate Bridge. Talk about beautiful the sight of the Golden Gate Bridge at sunset is one of the most beautiful that you can see.

Yellowstone Park has so many different things to see. You have mountains, and trees, and geysers, and areas that look like you stepped onto a foreign planet. A place that I could have explored for days.

If you aren't afraid of heights the Royal Gorge Bridge in Colorado is a wondrous sight to behold. Hanging 1053 feet above the Arkansas River this suspension bridge is a wonder of the modern world.

If I had to pick a sight I will never forget though I would have to pick a look through the college's telescope at Saturn. To see that beautiful planet and its magnificent rings was awesome.

At its best nature, whether on this blue green ball or in space, is a sight for sore eyes. The picture is called Waterfall.

The real counter is 5145.

Happy Mother's Day

"Human affection is the foundation of proper development." Dalai Lama

It is a beautiful day. My mother has lived to see another Mother's Day. With her bad heart we always take it one day at a time and when she makes it through to start another day we rejoice and thank God.

The first thing mother wanted to know this morning when I saw her was if I got some good pictures yesterday on my walk. I printed some out for her and she really liked them. Her two favorite were the Jerusalem Jasmine and the dark blue Iris.

All of mother's out of state children will call her today. If she feels up to it we will go and do some plant shopping which will be my gift to her. She loves her plants and I usually make my gift some new ones for her each year. The squirrels are cute but they do keep digging up her planters each year. We may go the silk flower route for some of the pots they won't leave alone and see if that works. It doesn't work for cats but hey maybe the squirrels will be better behaved then Pixie and Merlin.

Relationships change over the years even those between parents and children. My earlier relationship with my Mom while loving was also fret with tension. I am a very stubborn individual. Gee I wonder where I got it from Mom? ;-) As the years have passed however we have been drawn closer together. That closeness culminated when she asked me if I would move in with her here at the home she and Dad had made. It was hard to put most of my things in storage and give up total independence but it has been worth it for both of us.

As mother had said when she asked me to move in there are some things that sons can not do and she needs a daughter for. It has been a rewarding time these last two years. Mom and I have drawn closer together. Mom has come to rely on me for many things and we have come to appreciate each other more. With her very bad heart our time together is at a premium. We don't know how much time she has left. One thing I do know is that when she does go I will have no regrets. She will know, as my Dad knew before her, that her daughter loves them.

The real counter is 5140.

Colors of the Wind

"In your veins, and in mine, there is only one blood, the same life that animates us all! Since one unique mother begat us all, where did we learn to divide ourselves?" Kabir

Two of the most colorful seasons are spring and autumn. In the spring you get the blossoms on the trees in preparation of the fruit. Many of the ground covers start as flowers and then turn green for summer. In the autumn the leaves turn the most glorious colors before we enter the slumber of winter. We have nature at its most beautiful. All of the seasons have their own beauty but spring and autumn are my two favorites.

One of my favorite television shows is Heroes. It is no secret that I am a huge science fiction/fantasy fan. I grew up on it and it is still my favorite today. In a way Heroes has a link to the original Star Trek and not just because George Takei appeared in both. Both shows have a multi-racial cast but neither show plays the race card. The people are all united in a common cause and work together without race becoming an issue. In Star Trek they were united in exploring space. In Heroes they all have special powers that they are learning to deal with and are either united in trying to stop the explosion or in promoting the explosion.

The fan favorite in Heroes is Masi Oka who happens to be Japanese. Masi comes from the science fiction/fantasy fan community and we are thrilled to have one of our own make it big. George Takei, who plays his father in Heroes, is also a fan favorite because he is very accessible to his fans and is a genuinely nice person. He was always one of my favorite guests to work with.

Today's quote asks a very important question, how did we come to divide ourselves? At what point did we forget that we are all members of the human race and start quantifying who we are?

Who we are is a sum of many parts. Our ethnic and religious backgrounds are part of our makeup and influence how we perceive ourselves in the context of this world we live in. It is also a part of how others perceive us. I am primarily Irish Catholic and I have experienced prejudice towards both my ethnic and religious background. Those experiences have shaped how I perceive the world today. Bono said on the Charlie Rose Show that he gets his drive to help others from "good old Catholic guilt."

Pride in your heritage is not a bad thing. You should be proud of who you are and where you came from. It is important however to remember that we are also part of a larger whole. We are a member of the human race and no matter what our color, race, religion, sex, sexual orientation, political persuasion, etc. we are all the same under the skin. The late Carl Sagan said we are all made of "star stuff."

One of my favorite songs is Colors of the Wind. As the song says:

For whether we are white or copper skinned
We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains
We need to paint with all the colors of the wind

The picture is called Circle of Life and we are all a part of that circle.

The real counter is 5136.

Okay Let's See

"It is in the very heart of our activity that we search for our goal." Rabindranath Tagore

Today's quote is rather interesting. It would seem that we need to examine our own lives and what we do with them in order to see what we are really trying to accomplish. For most of us a good chunk of our day revolves around a) our job and b) sleeping. In my dreams last night (a) bleed into (b) and I was doing adjustments and refunds. Sigh not what I want to do with the rest of my life.

For many the job is the main goal and if you are doing something you really love then that is great. What if you aren't doing something you really love doing? My job pays for my expenses but I can't really say that it is fulfilling in any way other then keeping the cats feed and in toys. It does allow me to see my mother on a regular basis since she works at the same place so it does have that in its favor.

Okay let's see what else can be examined in our lives. What do we do after we come home from work and before we go to sleep? I think that is where I must look. My two main pursuits are my art and my writing. So for me that would be where I would find my goal. One goal is to be a published author. In pursuit of that goal I have finished integrating all the short stories into a novel and am in the process of a final proofread before getting it out to a couple of friends who have agreed to be beta readers for me. One of the friends has edited a literary magazine before so her input will be invaluable. The art is being put into a portfolio form so that I may get that out to potential galleries to show my work.

My heart is as an artist and writer. Looking at your own life where is your goal? The picture is called City in the Sky. If you are going to dream make your goals as high as you can. You deserve the best.

The real counter is 5131

Within

"Feel the hidden waters of the Spirit trickling through all material life ... feel the divine bliss of Spirit within you and all things." Paramahansa Yogananda

30 years ago George Lucas let Star Wars loose on the world. There was a great deal of philosophizing about the Force and the light and dark side of the Force. Obi-Wan talked about how it surrounds us and binds us all together. Carl Sagan in his pioneering show Cosmos talked about how we are all made of "star stuff." Many religions talk about the spirit and how it is in every living thing.

No matter how we want to define it there is something that does in the end make us all interconnected. What happens in one part of the world affects what happens in another part of the world. A sudden freeze damaging citrus crops means that the price of orange juice will go up in other parts of the country. A tsunami in the Pacific will affect the lives of people who had family and friends visiting there. It will move hearts towards generosity to help the victims. The emissions we pour into our air will affect the climate elsewhere when we damage our ozone layer.

We are the world and if we start thinking globally rather then provincially we could accomplish a lot more in terms of making life better for everyone. The picture is called Stellar Nursery.

The real counter is 5123.

Not for Sale

I raised my eyebrows in disbelief at the comment made by Paris Hilton's mother about how she coouldn't believe her daughter was sentenced to prison after all the money they spent. Her spoiled little brat had been caught drinking and driving more then once and was caught driving with a suspended license and their millions of dollars was supposed to be enough to get her off. Now they are petitioning Governor Schwatzeneger to pardon her. Hello! Anyone home! Guess not. She endangered the life of innocent people with her actions and now she doesn't express one bit of remorse and the fact she is rich should get her off. I'll be really ticked if that happens.

I suppose money can buy material possessions but it certainly can't buy happiness. My ex was very well paid for what he does and all of his money went to things. When I wanted to fly back here after my Mom's near fatal heart attack no money was made available for me to do so. Things came before people.

There are things though that money can't buy. You can't buy the joy in my Mom's face when she watches Pixie do the chase the tail routine. You can't buy the joy when she gets a nose bonk from her cat. You can't buy the joy I feel when I hug her. You can't buy love.

Something my brother wrote brought back a memory to me. A friend had invited me to her non-denominational church gathering. These were a bunch of what I would call holy rollers. I was in a world of hurt that day because something had sharply reminded me of my Dad. I couldn't stop crying but not one person asked me what was wrong. Their attitude was that "I found Jesus and all that matters is you find him" as a member of our congregation. That isn't following Christ. You can only truly follow him if you care for all of his flock whether they are a member of your congregation or not.

The most important things in life are not for sale. Love needs to be earned not bought. The smile of a child is not for sale. The love of a pet is not for sale. The love of family and friends are not for sale. The beauty of this green earth that God gave us is not for sale. The love of God and the love s/he has for us is not for sale. Truth and justice are not for sale or at least I hope California's Governor realizes that.

The real counter is 5108.

From Death Into Life

One of the songs we sing at my church has the lyrics "from death into life." The meaning for us in the church is two fold one we believed Christ arose from the dead on Easter and the second meaning is our belief in life after death where we will be reunited with our loved ones in Heaven after we die here on earth.

There are parallels in our own life however. Two news stories caught my eye this morning. The first one dealt with the forming of a new government in Northern Ireland. Two men, Ian Paisley and Roger McGuinness are heading the new government. Both men have blood on their hands. Both in the past have incited their followers to death and destruction. Now they are both trying to give peace a chance. In a country that has been torn by strife and hatred and bloodshed the fact that two mortal enemies can now sit down and try to give peace a chance is very heartening.

The other story I have been following is the massive explosion in space of a star. Stars at the end of their life if they are large enough will end up going nova or supernova and will expand and eventually explode throwing off their gases in a spectacular manner. The thing about the death of stars is that the matter they throw off will become the building blocks of new stars and planets. Out of death will come new life.

We are now in spring and out of the death of winter is coming new growth. The earth is renewing itself and blooming with beauty. The death we see in winter is not the end but a period of rest that is needed before spring can come and renew the earth. From death into life.

I am at a renewal period in my own life at the moment. Last night I finished combining the short stories into a novel form. I have two people already who are willing to be beta readers for me to see if I have been successful in my endeavors One friend I was especially hoping to get because she will not hesitate to give me the criticism I need to get this into publishable form. She has edited literary magazines before. It will be nerve wracking for me waiting for the results but together with my friends I will be able to hopefully come up with something that has a good chance of being published. I am taking my dreams to the next step and it is scary.

The picture is called Birth of a Galaxy. Out of the stellar explosions of old stars new stars are forming. From death into life.

The real counter is 5101.

Mainly Monday

"The gods do not deduct from one's life the hours spent loving." Ancient Chinese Proverb

Another one of those Monday things has snuck into my week. It was one of those weekends where I got a fair amount done on Saturday and spent most of Sunday in bed fighting off a sinus infection.

I am almost finished integrating the short stories into novel form. I have two more stories to put in and then I need to go back and make sure the interfaces make sense. I may actually have to finish a couple of stories that I had been working on to fill in the spaces where the hero is telling a story and there is no story there. ;-)

I got some photography done on Saturday. So far one person has iris up and blooming. I'm hoping to find some more because they are such beautiful flowers. I am fascinated by the beauty and variety of the flowers around here. I love flowers but can't grow live things. For some reason I just don't have a green thumb. I usually end up with silk plants around my own place because live ones can't survive either my attempts to care for them or the cats trying to eat them. Of course my silk plants had problems with Merlin who likes to nibble on them.

I am going to try and be more positive this week. I started the week out by picking outfits that I really love to wear this week. I always pick out the outfits for the week on Sunday and iron them so that they are ready come mornings. Ironing is one of my least favorite things to do so I tend to make sure I only have to do it once a week. I'm going to see if having on clothes I absolutely love will help make a difference in my attitude. Of course that may be blown sky high when I get into that pit of negativity known as work.

For now though the coffee tastes good, the sun is shining, and both cats are fed and happy. The week is starting off good.

The real counter is 5089

Dice

In recent weeks there has been some pretty amazing stories coming out in the Astronomy field. One of the big stories is about the discovery of a planet in a distant solar system that has the potential to support life as we know it.

Today's big story is the discovery that Mercury has a liquid core rather then a solid one thereby throwing what we thought we knew about how planets are forming into a spin. Just when we think we know it all we discover that we don't know as much as we think we do. That should be a humbling experience for man.

There is a famous saying that "God doesn't play dice with the universe." However it does look like he may be playing a different game then we are. Just when we think we have figured out how this universe of ours is put together something like this comes along and we need to reexamine our beliefs. That is the wonderful thing about science. Science is not static, it is fluid. We form a hypotheses based on the facts that we have and then proceed to test and test again to see if what we believe holds up. Sometimes we do okay and then sometimes God throws us a curve ball to see if we are awake at the plate.

I can hardly wait to see what the next big story is in Astronomy. I have found a great site to check it out at though in www.space.com.

The picture is from my Solar System series and is called Mercury.

The real counter is 5083..

The Meow of Now

"I have taught that when error ceases, you know yourself for what you are." Saraha's Treasury of Songs

One thing about our youngest cat, Pixie, she is very much in the now. If she were an Oriental cat she would be in the Tao of Now.

It makes you stop and wonder though if we humans could learn from the cats. We are always looking to the past or the future and rarely enjoy where we are right now. Some people treat the present as if it were nothing but a necessary evil, something to get through as quickly as possible. We are a "when I" generation. When I have enough money in the bank. When I get the job I want. When I meet the person of my dreams. When I.......

It is great to have dreams because dreams make life exciting. We should have something to look forward to.The future is uncertain. No one can predict what the future holds for us because we don't have total control over it. It is wonderful to have plans for the future. Dreams are so important. We should have dreams and hopes because they prove we are alive. We should also have happy memories of the past. We should have things in the past that we can learn from. The past can't be changed.

The present though is where we are and we should be able to enjoy the present and not just pass through it. So many things are put off until the future but the future doesn't always come the way we want. One of my mother's biggest regrets is that she had always planned on retiring and she and Dad would take a cruise or trips together. That can never happen now because a sudden heart attack took Dad before those plans could take place.

We don't know how much time is allotted to us so we need to enjoy what we have now. I am savoring the taste of my French Vanilla flavored coffee. I love flavored coffee and I need that caffeine if I am going to function for the rest of the day. I enjoy my coffee while surfing the web. I am enjoying the now.

I am enjoying the flowers of Spring. Iris are starting to bloom and I am going to take the camera out in a moment and capture them for my picture section of the web site. I will share those picture with my Mom and Aunt who love flowers. They are here now and I want to spend as much quality time with them as I can.

I am writing like crazy now and blending stories written in the past into a novel of now. I am enjoying the creative process that allows me to go back and forth and recombine into a new whole.

So enjoy today. Tell someone you love that you love them. Look at the world that surrounds you with a cat's eyes. Tomorrow it will be in the past. Like Pixie who bounds from the now to the now enjoy the Tao of Now. Tomorrow will always be there. Today is tomorrows past so enjoy it while you can.

The real counter is 5078.

From a Friday Perspective

It is a difficult day today for our family. It is the anniversary of our Dad's death. It has been nine years but the pain feels like yesterday. Today though rather then dwell on the sadness I want to dwell on the happy memories of Dad.

As an only daughter among four boys Dad and I had a special bond. He wasn't sure what to do with a daughter so with me being a Tom boy he just did sports with me as well. He taught me to play softball and throw a football. I shot baskets with him. I may not be Joe Montana but Dad made sure I don't throw a football like a girl.

Dad had a weird sense of humor. I was often the fall guy for his jokes because he knew that I wouldn't figure out what he was up to. I'll never forget the 7-Up glass from one Easter at his sister's house. It was when they were doing the Un-Cola advertisements and they came up with the upside down classic cola glass. My Dad said with a perfectly straight face "Michele come here quick and put your hand here the bottom has fallen out of the glass." Of course I fell for it and he laughed so hard he almost dropped the glass spilling the contents for any way.

Dad use to drive me to college and always insisted that we leave at the crack of dawn. I would struggle out of bed and being a distinct night owl and not much good before noon I'd get into the car and would be asleep before we left the driveway. Dad kept trying to get me to read a map and find a turn off but not being the world's best map reader I could never find what he was looking for. By the time I finally found where we were we had passed it ten miles ago. He would invariably pull over find it in an instant and give me the map to fold. Hey I am a champion map folder but to this day reading one of those puppies is not my strong point.

Dad and I had several shows we would watch together. Our favorites were Secret Agent and The Prisoner with Patrick McGoohan and Monty Python's Flying Circus. The latter appealed to his warped sense of humor and the former to hislove of spy novels.

I inherited my love of reading from Dad. I don't know which one of us got the other hooked on Tony Hillerman's Navaho novels. I know I introduced him to the joy's of Robert Van Gulik's Judge Dee novels set in ancient China. We would also trade books on the paranormal. We were both fascinated by ghost stories and the Bermuda Triangle. If it was weird we wanted to read about it.

Dad was my art and writing cheerleader. It is largely because of his encouragement that I embarked on a quest where I am now readying my work to get it published and shown professionally. He also encouraged me in my cooking and my cookbook will be dedicated to him. I remember once when I was visiting and we were at the grocery store and ran into some friends of his. He introduced me and said "This is my daughter Michele who is the finest cook I have ever known." This was a man who has eaten at some of the greatest restaurants in the world and it was my cooking he loved the most. It is something I will never forget.

So here's to you Dad. I miss you terribly but you left me with so many wonderful memories and love.

The real counter is 5067

Storms

"It is not until we understand the law of karma, or cause and effect, that we are inspired to embark on the path to end suffering. Negative thoughts and actions produce negative results and conditions, just as positive thoughts and actions produce positive results and conditions." Dalai Lama

I have been looking at the awesome pictures coming out of Jupiter. It is amazing to realize that the most notable features on Jupiter are caused by massive storms. What is a neat side line of these pictures are that they are an extra bonus because the focus of this probe is still a few years away with our first close up look at Pluto. Poor little guy was still a planet when the probe went out but hey some of us still consider him a planet in spite of his recent demotion.

We have some fierce thunder storms coming in this weekend. Storms in the Midwest tend to be quite spectacular and we have to be on the watch for tornados. Merlin is my weather cat and he is already whining that the storms are coming in. Sigh I wish he would realize that I'm not in charge of the weather.

The other story I was reading was about the storms in Texas and a couple of people who lost their lives to lightening strikes. One of them was fishing in a storm and another had just come in after being out on a boat in the storm. It makes you wonder about people when they ignore the dangers of bad weather and think that their personal pleasure will keep them from harm. You see all the time people who drive too fast or drive after drinking or take stupid risks. I don't know why man seems to think that they are immortal and that they have the upper hand over Mother Nature.

The Dalai Lama talks about cause and effect. We have the saying "what goes around comes around." Or as the Bible says "you reap what you sow." Mother Nature has shown time and time again that she is the Master not us. We also find that how we conduct our lives also has an effect on how others treat us. People who think decency and forgiveness are "twee" find themselves being ripped apart and stalked by others who ridicule them.

With storm season upon us it is a good time to think about the storms in our own lives. When we cause storms or ignore the storms we cause for others then life has a nasty way of taking its revenge. Cause and effect. What effect would you really like in your life? Me I'm working towards peace and contentment.

The picture is called Midwest Storms.

The real counter is 5060

Hump Day

"To win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the highest skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the highest skill." Sun Tzu

I am wearing purple today.  I have on an outfit my mother got me for my birthday. The purple sleeve of the blouse is hiding the huge purple bruise that I got when I slipped yesterday while getting into my car and racked my arm over the door frame. Ouch.

There seems to be a good case of the blahs going around lately. My brother was mentioning it in his blog and I've been feeling out of it myself. I have been frustrated at work and it has affected my wanting to do anything at home. I need to get the short stories converted into a novel if I hope to sell it.

Part of my problem is the Spring allergies are in high gear and so is the arthritis for some reason. I do need to get a hold of the problems though and work on getting back into a better mind frame. I've done it before and I can do it again.

One thing that is making me feel better is the positive response to my art over in the new group. Everyone seems to have a different favorite including a talented artist who likes the picture that the jerks on the other group decided to villify. I have won my victory without fighting them on their stupidity. It is their loss because any new works will shown in the new group not theirs as well as any news I find out on the show and movie plans. I have found friends in the new group and am happy there.

The real counter is 5052.

Too Much Tuesday

"The fundamental cause of suffering is ignorance - the mistaken apprehension that living beings and objects inherently exist." Dalai Lama

Hmmmm well that is almost as cryptic and understandable as last night's episode of Heroes which was tremendous but left more questions unanswered then they answered. Some of the questions I had were:
1. How did Syler get the best of Nathan and fool everyone into thinking he was Nathan.
2. Where did Syler get DR's power to reach through walls.
3. Where did Syler get what's her name's shape shifting abilities so he could impersonate Nathan to be President.
4. Surely someone would have realized that something was wrong with "Nathan."
5. If the future Hiro went back in time to warn Peter to "save the cheerleader, save the world" and the present Hiro goes forward in time to meet the future Hiro wouldn't that negate the future Hiro's coming back in time to warn ... oh forget about it. The time paradoxes are making my head swim and I grew up on this stuff. ;-)

May is a bitter-sweet month for me. Today is the birthday of the wonderful man my niece wed almost a year ago. He is truly a special man and loves my niece and her children. I am so glad he is part of our family now.

Friday is the anniversary of my Dad's death. I still miss him terribly and wish he were still here to talk to. He would be fascinated by Heroes and I know we would have some great talks about the show. He would also be doing computer art himself because I would have shown him how to do it.

We are starting into the hot season weather wise but it is still unsettled enough that I can't get the summer clothes out and put the winter clothes away. We are still going to get some cold snaps. Weather in the Midwest is nuts I've decided. I grew up in California where we had two seasons, wet and dry. I got spoiled out in the Golden State.

Following the saying "April showers brings May flowers" I hope you have a flower filled day and keep the Benadryl handy for the pollen that those flowers kick up the allergies with.

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