Future Scientists

A sight I will always remember is the night sky on a trip where the car had broken down on a vacation but we were where there was no light pollution to stop the view of the stars. The stars and what is out in space has long fascinated me and the view of the sky that night will always be with me. Ever since I was a child my fascination of outer space has been a driving force in my life. My reading has leaned towards science fiction for recreation and books on space for fascination. My art in recent years has been heavily influenced by outer space. I have a whole gallery dedicated to it in my website Space the Final Frontier.

I loved Carl Sagan’s Cosmos and the enthusiasm it generated for young people to learn and reach for the stars. One of the most fascinating parts of that show for me was the discussion of black holes. That led me to the work of Stephen Hawking. I devoured his book A Brief History of Time. I remember once my Dad trying to explain Einstein’s theory to my Mom on the effects of space travel and time. He demonstrated the red and blue shifts to her and time slowing and speeding up by how fast he walked. It made me realize that science can be explained and understood by anyone.

One of my favorite discoveries a few years ago was a program that featured Dr. Brian Greene and opened up the world of the string theory to me. Talk about science fiction meeting science fact! Again we had a scientist explaining science in a way that it could be understood by anyone.

The real secret though to getting science into a person’s life is to be able to excite their imaginations. I worked with a lot of young people when I was doing science fiction conventions and when I ran my own convention I had scientists there in addition to media guests. Fire up the imagination and you can lead a child into the world of outer space. It is what NASA is going to need to do if they want to survive. For me the Hubble spacecraft is one of the most exciting inventions of our modern age. I can look at pictures from Hubble for hours. The magazine National Geographic has always been one of my windows to outer space.

I may not be a scientist but I use my love of outer space and my art to try and fire imaginations. One of my favorite shows has always been Doctor Who for just plain sheer fun. Even it can inspire me like when in one episode the Doctor showed the beginning of our solar system and when the show was over I did the picture In the Beginning. National Geographic inspired me when the talked about the moon Enceladus and I wanted to see what the view from the moon looked like so I did the art work. Find a way to inspire a young person and we will have our future scientists. I have inspired my grandnephew Tristen. He is my future scientist.

Thoughts On A Sunny Day

“There is no fire like greed, no crime like hatred, no sorrow like separation, no sickness like hunger of heart, and no joy like the joy of freedom.” The Dhammapanda

There are times when going to work that I feel I would be better off attending pre-school. The children would be more mature then some of the coworkers I have to deal with each day. You know things are bad when your boss calls a meeting to let you know she will be off for three days to attend to her sister’s funeral and that she expects the office to get along and not fight or cause problems or call her at home. I have never worked in a place with such back stabbing and active attempts to hurt other people. I have to wonder if this is part of an epidemic of hatred that is sweeping this country.

I have read in disbelief as people who proclaim themselves to be Christians will use the most racist terms to tear others down. I have heard these so called Christians gossip and tear down fellow workers behind their backs. I have watched as they monitor every little mistake and run into the boss trying to get someone in trouble. I have read enough rants about wanting our President to fail, about how Senator Franken looks like a clown, about how it is okay to kill a doctor, etc. I have read more “apologies” about having affairs with “soul mates” and how it is against God’s will while continuing to carry on the affair. I have then read in disbelief about how these self proclaimed Christians are better then the people of the liberal side of politics because they don’t spew attacks and hatred. They follow God’s laws. The law they seem to forget is the one Christ gave “thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” There are no qualifiers in that statement. Christ meant everyone.

One of the greatest attacks of hypocrisy in my own life has happened at work. We have a lovely young lady who has desperately wanted to be a mother. She and her husband have been trying for years. She just found out she was pregnant but was afraid to let the office know. We have one person in the office who because of miscarriage can’t have any more children. This woman is a bitter person who yells and swears at her husband and the child she has. She is always trying to get people fired. Her ego knows no bounds. She has let it be known if the lady trying for a child becomes pregnant she will leave the office. She is currently trying to get a transfer but her reputation proceeds her and no one wants her. We are all hoping she makes good on her promise and just quits. It would solve a major source of trouble in the office and make going to work a lot easier.

I have always felt when you spew out hatred you damage yourself in the process. I do call myself a Christian because I try and follow the commandment “that shalt love thy neighbor.” For me those are words to live by. I don’t always succeed but I am also human. I let the lady who is pregnant know how happy I am for her. As soon as we find out if it is a by or a girl I will get the crochet hooks and baby yarn out and make her an outfit. I let my elderly mother know each day I love her and try and get out and take photographs of flowers to brighten her day.

I do the best I can to be the best me I can. I try and do what I can to open minds and push the people I vote for to care for this planet and its people. I push my two major causes which at the moment is the environment and health care. I try to remember to do it without being strident and obnoxious.

Rainy Day

One of the things about technology that I don't like is how when you need it the most it breaks down. My old stand by digital camera decided to give up the ghost just as my mother was asking for pictures of her Rose of Sharon and golden trumpet flowers. A quick trip to Wal-Mart and a couple hundred dollars later I came home with a Cannon Power Shot A2000IS. Nice little camera. Got some shots of her flowers and of course of her Pixie. One happy mother. Nice way to brighten up a rainy day.

Happy Birthday

Today is mother’s 83rd birthday. Over the last couple of years I have watched as she has become increasingly frail. She is down to 94 pounds now and is all skin and bones. She is definitely slowing down as her heart becomes increasingly worse. She can not go as she used to and it frustrates her.

I am thankful that Pixie wandered into our home three years ago. That little cat has done wonders for my Mom. Pixie’s favorite nap place in my Mom’s lap. Mom will sit down for longer then she planned because Pixie is comfortable on her lap and she doesn’t want to disturb her. Pixie also makes her laugh with her nose bonks and wanting to be petted and begging for treats. She will race around the house chasing her imaginary friend cracking Mom up.

Mom’s hearing is definitely going but she doesn’t want to acknowledge it. I find myself having to practically yell before she can understand. Sometimes she is asking what before I can get a sentence out and I have to repeat it louder. It is frustrating to have to yell but she has always been sensitive about her hearing and even when Dad was alive ten years ago she didn’t want to admit her hearing was going. So I just talk louder and plan on repeating myself several times until she understands.

She is becoming forgetful. For the last two nights I have had to go down and see what was wrong with her CD player. For two nights in a row I have had to put the CD in the right way. I patiently explain to her that the label side needs to be up and the silver side down before it can play. I imagine I will have to do this from now on. For some reason she can no longer remember which was the label goes.

But in the last year or so I have noticed a mellowing in her. I guess the shock of finding out that her daughter and granddaughter were both Democrats and voted for Obama has tempered her view that the Republicans were always right and the Democrats were always wrong. She has noticed the state of the economy and realized that it was her party in control that saw the decline of her savings. She actually voted for our mayor even though she ran as a Democrat because she really likes Sue Murray. She is making my brother turn Fox News down or change channels when I am in the dining room trying to eat my supper because she knows that his extreme right wing politics upset me. He will never change his politics but at least he has learned to keep quiet around me because I am an Obama supporter and I don’t care to listen to people who want our President to fail.

My mother though still has the capacity to surprise me. Lately I have been purchasing some CDs from Amazon from singer/actor John Barrowman. I discovered him originally after watching "Doctor Who" and "Torchwood" and then discovering he got his start in musical theater. Musical theater is one of my big loves. I was playing a selection from his CD “Reflections on Broadway” called “Tell My Father” because it was from a show about the Civil War and her Grandfather fought in that war. Her own Mom was so proud that her Dad was a Yankee Civil War Veteran. I was telling Mom that my friend at work and I were joking and saying that it was such a waste for women that Barrowman is openly gay. She shocked me when she said “well as long as he is happy it is okay.” My mother is a staunch conservative Catholic and she has realized that gays are human beings. It is quite a big step. I guess having a liberal daughter with a lot of gay friends is rubbing off. ;-)

So happy birthday mother. You are 83 years young today and of course Pixie, the little cat that Mom decided gets to share her birthday since we don’t really know when she was born except sometime in early July.

A Town in Crises

I live in a small Midwestern town and work at the hospital in the Business Office. I have watched as the major industries in this town have gone under since they were tied to the auto industry. I watched as one of our two grocery stores closed because of the economy taking even more jobs with it. Our only real place to shop in town in the local Wal-Mart otherwise known as “sorry we don’t carry what you want and we don’t do customer service.” I watched as the hospital cut jobs, cut all our hours, stopped matching retirement contributions, and put a freeze on raises. The town doesn’t have the money to fix the sidewalks which are crumbling or the pot holes in the street because of all the rain. It is a town in crises.

As a county hospital we can not turn away anyone from the Emergency Room. The town has no clinic and the local doctors are bailing out and moving away faster then we can get new ones in to replace them. Many of the doctors remaining are at retirement age and cutting back on hours or just plain retiring. Our family doctor is cutting back his hours and it is hard to get in to see him even for an emergency. There is no place else for people to go when they are sick but the hospital Emergency Room.

One of the biggest problems facing our hospital and many other small hospitals like us is the lack of money coming in. Insurance companies are stalling about paying the bills. The number of people who are either uninsured or under-insured is increasing every month as there are more and more job losses in our town. There is just no where around here for people to work and with the loss of jobs comes the loss of health care benefits.

The State’s Medicaid Office has issued a new policy to cut back on Emergency Room visits that they don’t consider an emergency. It doesn’t matter what we have to spend in the hospital for us to treat people that we are mandated by law to see they are going to only pay $25.00 to reimburse us for doing we have to do by State law. I know the money is tight on the State level too but this is just ridiculous.

I imagine a lot of what we are seeing in the Emergency Room is stress induced illnesses. A lot of the illnesses we see of the people working at the hospital are probably exacerbated by stress. I know my own health has been worse lately and a lot of it is probably due to working in a job where we are pressured to try and get money in and no way to do it. We can’t force the insurance companies to pay and they are using every excuse in the world not to. The State and Federal Governments are making it harder to get payment from them. We are writing off hundreds of thousands of dollars in bad debts.

You add the additional stress of taking care of an elderly mother whose health is declining rapidly to the stress of a thankless job and worrying if the hospital is finally just going to pull the plug and close there are some days when I just feel like giving up. My Senators are one Republican, Richard Luger and Evan Bayh and it is probably an exercise in futility to write them but I am not going to give up on the idea of health care reform and I will make sure they know what we are facing in their state. Our small hospital is facing a crises we didn’t create because of the current health care industry. Any politician wanting my vote and support better be prepared to do something about getting everybody insured. Health care for everybody is not a liberal pie-in-the-sky dream. It is a necessity.

Through the Storms

It is getting storm in the Midwest again. The thunderstorms are loud and frequently bring tornados with them. We had a loud one last night that had me cuddling kitties. Storms are coming in other part s of my life too. My mother has been sick for days and her cat Pixie is scared of Mom being sick in bed and running to me for cuddling. She is never that completely affectionate with me. She lets me pick her up and tickle her tummy or brush and comb her but this new wanting to be next to me all the time is disturbing.

We had a storm at work the other day that proves the old maxim what goes around comes around. A coworker who has made the place absolutely hell to work in is finally getting to the point where the boss is getting enough complaints that she can actually act on and this witch may finally be on her way out. She has always been clever enough to watch her mouth when the boss is in the office. However because of her patient accounts calls are now being recorded to try and verify the complaints.

I put up with a lot of garbage at work because I need the job and need the health insurance. I also need to be here in this little town because of a very sick mother. I can see her health deteriorating and I am doing all I can to care for her. I am doing a lot of things my brother should be doing but isn’t. He is always running back into the hospital the least little time one of his “girls” has a problem they can’t (read too lazy to) handle. Mother is frustrated and disappointed in him but unfortunately she is the one who spoiled him so badly.

Even with the frustrations growing in our little town as we struggle with the economy you can still see patches of gold as the next round of summer flowers bloom. I can make my mother smile by going out and taking pictures for her. So with one cat scared of storms, a sick elderly mother, and a young cat scared because her person is sick it has been a long couple of weeks. I stop an appreciate the flowers when I can. I also get all geeky knowing the BBC America at 9:00 PM Saturday will finally be showing one of the new Doctor Who specials. Grab happiness where you can.

Kodak Moments

The very first camera I owned was a small Kodak Brownie camera that took black and white pictures. I was so proud of that camera. My love affair with cameras has progressed to a Cannon A1 35mm camera and my current Cannon Power Shot digital camera. Several years ago Kodak had an advertising campaign that talked about Kodak moments. Moments that have been preserved by photographs. Life has a way of giving us “Kodak moments” in our heads. Today, on Father’s Day, my mind is doing its own slide show of Kodak moments regarding my Dad.

Dad and I shared a love of history and ancient buildings. When we lived in New Mexico, when I was a small child, we would take weekend trips to the Indian ruins that doted that area of the state. No one else was really enthusiastic about Dad’s hobby but me but Dad and I shared that feeling of history surrounding us. My favorite trip was when we actually saw the cliff dwellings of the legendary Ansazi. When we moved to California our favorite haunts were the California Missions. I can still see Dad and I taking in the history and culture of ancient people and times. History and my Dad and I share a lot of Kodak moments.

Dad was fascinated by genealogy and he and I would visit the various cemeteries where ancestors were buried when I made my visits to Indiana after he and Mom moved back here. I can see the look on his face as he found the gravestone he was looking for and the excitement as he would tell me who this person was and how he or she fit into the family history. It is that look of excitement at connecting to the past that is my Kodak moment.

It was a different look that I remember when I had an extra ticket to see John Denver and asked Dad if he wanted to go. I had no idea that he even liked John Denver and thought he was just being nice and giving me a ride. It turned out that he loved his music and especially the music that celebrated nature. The look on his face as we were driving home as he thanked me for bringing him to the concert will always be with me. The tearing of his eyes and mine as we shared a love of music is my Kodak moment.

My Dad loved cross word puzzles and he was so certain of the answers that he did his in pen and ink. At our house in Livermore, California he had built a wall to ceiling bookcase and next to it was his favorite recliner. At that time I had a huge red-orange cat named Zonker. Zonker jumped up on the arm of the chair and reached over and knocked my Dad’s pens onto the ground and then jumped down. The look of amusement on my Dad’s face as he called after the cat “feel better now?” will always be my Kodak moment.

When I was getting married my parents came out from Indiana to the wedding. I remember going for the final fitting on the wedding dress. I came out of the dressing room to show Mom and Dad and Dad started crying. I remember the owner of the wedding shop handing my Dad a box of Kleenex and patting him on the shoulder and saying that Dads always did that. That is a Kodak moment to treasure.

But my favorite moments were those times when my Dad’s face took on a look of almost childish delight. He loved showing me around the Conner’s Prairie Village Historical Park here in Indiana that showed life in the 19th century. I remember the boyish glee when we visited Howard Hughes’ famous “Sprouse Goose” or the Abraham Lincoln audiomarionotronic’s at Disneyland. Or the amusement as he tried to see it all at a Renaissance Faire. Kodak moments of the joy on the face of a man who always remained a kid at heart.

Although Dad has been gone for ten years now as long as I can see the moments of my life with my Dad in my mind he will never be gone. This picture called “Behind the Falls” was done from a memory of another Kodak moment with Dad when he and I took a nature hike up in Oregon and came to a grotto that was behind a waterfall where we could see out through the water. Nature and Dad and I have a ton of moments like these.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad. Thanks for the memories.