A Town in Crises

I live in a small Midwestern town and work at the hospital in the Business Office. I have watched as the major industries in this town have gone under since they were tied to the auto industry. I watched as one of our two grocery stores closed because of the economy taking even more jobs with it. Our only real place to shop in town in the local Wal-Mart otherwise known as “sorry we don’t carry what you want and we don’t do customer service.” I watched as the hospital cut jobs, cut all our hours, stopped matching retirement contributions, and put a freeze on raises. The town doesn’t have the money to fix the sidewalks which are crumbling or the pot holes in the street because of all the rain. It is a town in crises.

As a county hospital we can not turn away anyone from the Emergency Room. The town has no clinic and the local doctors are bailing out and moving away faster then we can get new ones in to replace them. Many of the doctors remaining are at retirement age and cutting back on hours or just plain retiring. Our family doctor is cutting back his hours and it is hard to get in to see him even for an emergency. There is no place else for people to go when they are sick but the hospital Emergency Room.

One of the biggest problems facing our hospital and many other small hospitals like us is the lack of money coming in. Insurance companies are stalling about paying the bills. The number of people who are either uninsured or under-insured is increasing every month as there are more and more job losses in our town. There is just no where around here for people to work and with the loss of jobs comes the loss of health care benefits.

The State’s Medicaid Office has issued a new policy to cut back on Emergency Room visits that they don’t consider an emergency. It doesn’t matter what we have to spend in the hospital for us to treat people that we are mandated by law to see they are going to only pay $25.00 to reimburse us for doing we have to do by State law. I know the money is tight on the State level too but this is just ridiculous.

I imagine a lot of what we are seeing in the Emergency Room is stress induced illnesses. A lot of the illnesses we see of the people working at the hospital are probably exacerbated by stress. I know my own health has been worse lately and a lot of it is probably due to working in a job where we are pressured to try and get money in and no way to do it. We can’t force the insurance companies to pay and they are using every excuse in the world not to. The State and Federal Governments are making it harder to get payment from them. We are writing off hundreds of thousands of dollars in bad debts.

You add the additional stress of taking care of an elderly mother whose health is declining rapidly to the stress of a thankless job and worrying if the hospital is finally just going to pull the plug and close there are some days when I just feel like giving up. My Senators are one Republican, Richard Luger and Evan Bayh and it is probably an exercise in futility to write them but I am not going to give up on the idea of health care reform and I will make sure they know what we are facing in their state. Our small hospital is facing a crises we didn’t create because of the current health care industry. Any politician wanting my vote and support better be prepared to do something about getting everybody insured. Health care for everybody is not a liberal pie-in-the-sky dream. It is a necessity.

Through the Storms

It is getting storm in the Midwest again. The thunderstorms are loud and frequently bring tornados with them. We had a loud one last night that had me cuddling kitties. Storms are coming in other part s of my life too. My mother has been sick for days and her cat Pixie is scared of Mom being sick in bed and running to me for cuddling. She is never that completely affectionate with me. She lets me pick her up and tickle her tummy or brush and comb her but this new wanting to be next to me all the time is disturbing.

We had a storm at work the other day that proves the old maxim what goes around comes around. A coworker who has made the place absolutely hell to work in is finally getting to the point where the boss is getting enough complaints that she can actually act on and this witch may finally be on her way out. She has always been clever enough to watch her mouth when the boss is in the office. However because of her patient accounts calls are now being recorded to try and verify the complaints.

I put up with a lot of garbage at work because I need the job and need the health insurance. I also need to be here in this little town because of a very sick mother. I can see her health deteriorating and I am doing all I can to care for her. I am doing a lot of things my brother should be doing but isn’t. He is always running back into the hospital the least little time one of his “girls” has a problem they can’t (read too lazy to) handle. Mother is frustrated and disappointed in him but unfortunately she is the one who spoiled him so badly.

Even with the frustrations growing in our little town as we struggle with the economy you can still see patches of gold as the next round of summer flowers bloom. I can make my mother smile by going out and taking pictures for her. So with one cat scared of storms, a sick elderly mother, and a young cat scared because her person is sick it has been a long couple of weeks. I stop an appreciate the flowers when I can. I also get all geeky knowing the BBC America at 9:00 PM Saturday will finally be showing one of the new Doctor Who specials. Grab happiness where you can.

Kodak Moments

The very first camera I owned was a small Kodak Brownie camera that took black and white pictures. I was so proud of that camera. My love affair with cameras has progressed to a Cannon A1 35mm camera and my current Cannon Power Shot digital camera. Several years ago Kodak had an advertising campaign that talked about Kodak moments. Moments that have been preserved by photographs. Life has a way of giving us “Kodak moments” in our heads. Today, on Father’s Day, my mind is doing its own slide show of Kodak moments regarding my Dad.

Dad and I shared a love of history and ancient buildings. When we lived in New Mexico, when I was a small child, we would take weekend trips to the Indian ruins that doted that area of the state. No one else was really enthusiastic about Dad’s hobby but me but Dad and I shared that feeling of history surrounding us. My favorite trip was when we actually saw the cliff dwellings of the legendary Ansazi. When we moved to California our favorite haunts were the California Missions. I can still see Dad and I taking in the history and culture of ancient people and times. History and my Dad and I share a lot of Kodak moments.

Dad was fascinated by genealogy and he and I would visit the various cemeteries where ancestors were buried when I made my visits to Indiana after he and Mom moved back here. I can see the look on his face as he found the gravestone he was looking for and the excitement as he would tell me who this person was and how he or she fit into the family history. It is that look of excitement at connecting to the past that is my Kodak moment.

It was a different look that I remember when I had an extra ticket to see John Denver and asked Dad if he wanted to go. I had no idea that he even liked John Denver and thought he was just being nice and giving me a ride. It turned out that he loved his music and especially the music that celebrated nature. The look on his face as we were driving home as he thanked me for bringing him to the concert will always be with me. The tearing of his eyes and mine as we shared a love of music is my Kodak moment.

My Dad loved cross word puzzles and he was so certain of the answers that he did his in pen and ink. At our house in Livermore, California he had built a wall to ceiling bookcase and next to it was his favorite recliner. At that time I had a huge red-orange cat named Zonker. Zonker jumped up on the arm of the chair and reached over and knocked my Dad’s pens onto the ground and then jumped down. The look of amusement on my Dad’s face as he called after the cat “feel better now?” will always be my Kodak moment.

When I was getting married my parents came out from Indiana to the wedding. I remember going for the final fitting on the wedding dress. I came out of the dressing room to show Mom and Dad and Dad started crying. I remember the owner of the wedding shop handing my Dad a box of Kleenex and patting him on the shoulder and saying that Dads always did that. That is a Kodak moment to treasure.

But my favorite moments were those times when my Dad’s face took on a look of almost childish delight. He loved showing me around the Conner’s Prairie Village Historical Park here in Indiana that showed life in the 19th century. I remember the boyish glee when we visited Howard Hughes’ famous “Sprouse Goose” or the Abraham Lincoln audiomarionotronic’s at Disneyland. Or the amusement as he tried to see it all at a Renaissance Faire. Kodak moments of the joy on the face of a man who always remained a kid at heart.

Although Dad has been gone for ten years now as long as I can see the moments of my life with my Dad in my mind he will never be gone. This picture called “Behind the Falls” was done from a memory of another Kodak moment with Dad when he and I took a nature hike up in Oregon and came to a grotto that was behind a waterfall where we could see out through the water. Nature and Dad and I have a ton of moments like these.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad. Thanks for the memories.

The Waterfall

“A work of art is the unique result of a unique temperament.” Oscar Wilde

I was adding some new photographs to my album on Photobucket when out of curiosity I checked to see which picture was the most looked at. I thought with all the flowers blooming now that people would be interested in one of the photographs of the Iris. Instead the most popular picture was one of my art pieces called “The Waterfall”. I believe that part of that appeal of that picture is the sense of serenity one gets from looking at.

The weather outlook here in Central Indiana is thunderstorms all week. Not exactly calm and serene weather. In this modern hurry up world of ours it is sometimes difficult to hold onto serenity. It is easy to become frustrated and tense. If you have a job you are worried about keeping it. There are always frustrations in the workplace mine included. You worry about making ends meet. You worry about rising gas, food, medical costs. You worry about health, yours and your loved ones.

I have always used meditation as a way to calm down after a really bad day. In many articles you read about meditating they suggest you visualize a calm and serene place. I did the waterfall picture because that is what I visualize as my calm and serene place. So as we start another hectic Monday I'll share with you my place of serenity to help you through.

Roses

“Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.” Oscar Wilde

After a really stressful day I like to go out and walk. The physical action of putting one foot in front of the other sets up a rhythm that pulls the tension from my tight muscles and helps me to relax. There is a lot of stress in my life. I care for an aging mother who more and more relies on me to help her make decisions. I am trying to grapple with things I know little about such as bonds and annuities and other financial matters. Sometimes my advice can only be for her to be careful and not just go with something because she likes the person or the person has done work for her in the past. At the moment her decision is to bring all the paperwork home to me and I’ll look at it and hope I understand what I’m reading. If not I will be on the web researching until I understand.

On my walk last week I came across a rose bush. I have always loved roses. They remind me of one of my favorite books Antione de Saint Exupéry’s “The Little Prince.” The Little Prince learns in the story that his rose is special because of the love and care that he gives it. I know that people who don’t know my mother would think if they were to see that she is just another elderly lady. To me, like the Little Prince’s rose, she is unique in all the world.

I sometimes get frustrated with the way things are and the responsibilities that life thrusts upon me. Sometimes, like now when I’m battling the flu, I wish life would just take a detour and leave me alone. Sometimes I feel if there is one more problem I’m going to scream. It is at times like this that looking at a rose becomes important to me. The rose is beautiful and looks fragile but it also has thorns and can protect itself. It reminds me that in life there is always beauty but in that beauty is also strength.

The Truth Is Out There

“I can believe anything provided it is incredible.” Oscar Wilde

Encarta’s Dictionary defines conspiracy theory as “a belief that a particular event is the result of a secret plot rather than the actions of an individual person or chance.” Now I am an X-Files fan and I can do conspiracy just as well as Fox Mulder can. Despite being a redheaded female I identify more with Mulder than Scully. That being said I have to admit that I am getting tired of the same old conspiracy theories. I’m just not in the mood for any more Government/CIA or Aliens/Area 51 scenarios. While being laid up fighting the flu I decided to give my fever afflicted brain a break and did some surfing of the web to try and make sense of some things that just were not computing properly in my head. I discovered that there are people and organizations out there trying to keep the truth from being known. However Mulder taught us that the truth is out there so as a public service I will reveal what my research has uncovered.

Conspiracy theory #1 is Rush Limbaugh. For years something has been nagging at me every time I would hear or read Rush’s words. In one of those rare flashes, that some people think might be ESP related, it dawned on me what was bothering me. Rush kept reminding me of someone and that someone turned out to be Don Rickles, the insult comic of my youth. I decided to check and see if they might be related. What I discovered was even more frightening. These two people have never been sighted together. What is more if you look at pictures of the two you can spot the similarities between them. The truth is that Rush Limbaugh is Don Rickles in disguise. Remember these two have never been seen together. Never, ever. And this leads us to conspiracy theory #2, Joan Rivers is Sean Hannity is drag.

Conspiracy theory #3 is Fox News also known as Faux Noose. The truth about their strange behavior is in their name. A fox is a small “red” furry animal that is the frequent target of rich, upper class twits with nothing better to do with their time then hunt defenseless animals. Of course Fox is paranoid. They ARE after them. You want proof? The proof is in their comments about Bo, the White House puppy. Think about it, who is responsible for flushing the fox out of its lair? Dogs. Of course they are against Bo, he is a dog. It is all a White House plot.

Conspiracy theory #4 is Fox News. Hey, they are big enough for two theories. The real problem with Fox News is they thought with the name they were getting Foxy Brown to represent them and make them sexy. Of course they thought Foxy Brown was with Hugh Grant but as usual they got their browns mixed up. Hugh’s Brown is Divine. Michael Steele might have been able to tell them the hip-hop difference but he is too busy apologizing to Don Rickles, I mean Rush Limbaugh. So here these guys were thinking they had the sex appeal of Hugh Grant but instead they are stuck with Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Glen Beck, and Bill O’Reilly, who don’t have a ounce of sex appeal among them. You want proof? How about their reaction to the pictures of President Obama shirtless? POTUS has a toned and sexy body and here the Fox people are stuck with looking like John McCain shirtless. Of course they are jealous. As an aside VP Bidden please put your shirt back on. Thanks.

So there you have it. I think I proved my theories just as well as any other conspiracy theorist has. Rush Limbaugh is Don Rickles, Joan Rivers is Sean Hannity in drag, Fox News is running from the upper class who are trying to pepper their behinds with buckshot with Bo the White House puppy leading the assault and they are sexually frustrated because they aren’t Hugh Grant.