Sometimes You Get It Perfect

Sometimes it really is better to give then receive. This Christmas I managed to find and create some perfect gifts. Hearing the joy in the voices and reading some of my Facebook responses today gives me that warm and fuzzy feeling that only the knowledge that you have made someone happy can give.

My niece back in 2003 had asked if I could create some artwork for her based on what she had discovered about the Chinese art known as Feng Shui. I have put that one on the back burner because I didn’t really have the tools or models I needed to do them properly. I finally had what I needed this year and I did the four pictures for her and matted them and sent them as my Christmas present to her. She was absolutely thrilled as this Facebook response shows “It is so great when you can get custom artwork for Christmas. Thanks Aunt Michele!” Her husband, who is a huge Superman fan, got the 7 DVD set of the new Superman animated series and he told me via Facebook “Hi Michele, Thanks for the DVDs. I've already started watching them and they are great!” I got the oldest girl a Chinese paint set that shows her how to do animals Chinese style and the oldest boy got 2 of the newer books in Robert Aspirin’s “Myth” series so he is happily reading. My brother loved the Andre Bocelli CD and my Mom loved her “Pixie” picture in the “I Love My Cat” frame. My sister-in-law loved her music box and my brother is looking forward to the martial arts film I sent him.

So knowing their are family members who are happy has added to my enjoyment of the day after Christmas. I am looking forward to the Doctor Who episode “The End of Time, Part 1” tonight. I have already heard from an English friend that it is great. So I am happy because of the joy of others and I can even face the Wal-Mart crowd in a good frame of mind and get our weekly shopping done.

These are the pictures I sent my niece based on this email:

I was hoping I could commission some artwork from you (something I think others might want to buy as well). I’ve been doing some research into Feng Shui, and hoped you could do some art for the four primary directions. The following is the description of the best elements to include (and avoid) for each of the directions.
West: Seven white tigers, in the marsh, round shapes, aqua blue as a secondary color, and metal. Area represents children and creativity. Avoid anything red or representations of fire.
North: One black turtle, lots of blue and navy, in the water, free form shapes. Area represents career. Avoid anything representing earth, yellow, flat or square.
East: Three cerulean green dragons, thunder in the background, lots of wood, rectangle shapes. Area represents Family. Avoid anything white, round, or metal.
South: Nine Phoenix, reds/purples/burgundies, fire and sun, triangle shapes. Area represents Fame and Reputation. Avoid black, water, and free-form shapes.
I figured since Feng Shui is becoming trendy, you could have fun with this, and add it to your collection.

Truly something given with love is a gift that keeps on giving.

Needing Patience

We have an icy rain slamming us. It woke me up last night and I needed to assure Merlin that he could stay cuddled up next to me and that we weren’t going to float away. After the frustration of my main printer breaking last night I have tried to load everything on the art computer and make it do extra duty. The CD/RW drives are being a bit flaky also but hopefully I can transfer what else I need over and get the Christmas cards and calendars finished over here. I don’t deal too well with this type of frustration.

Over the years I have learned more patience but I still have a long way to go. I still have a tendency to be one of those “God grant me patience and I want it now” sort of people. Today will be a day to force some patience on myself. The calendars and cards can only print so fast. The presents if they are to look nice need a little time spent on them for the wrapping to be pretty. You can’t rush ironing or you get scorch spots. “Slow and steady wins the race” but bribing yourself works better. To ensure that I don’t get too fidgety while waiting for things to print I bought myself an early Christmas present. I loved the Dan Brown book “The DaVinci Code” so I got myself the movie and its follow-up “Angels and Demons” to watch while working on Christmas things.

This picture is called “Winter’s Beauty” and I did it to remind myself that this season also has its beauty along with the cold.

Shades of Gray or Gray is Beautiful

“All the leaves are brown and the sky is gray.” California Dreaming

It is a gray day outside. We are expecting snow showers. It is not one of those brilliant blue sky uplifting of spirit days. It is a day where you need to make your own kind of joy. It is a day that reminds you that you have a part to play in your life and in the lives of others. It is a day when you sometimes get a giggle over silly things. I read the phrase “you are what you eat” and in that case decided I’m a piece of chocolate.

My diaries lately have been touching on the subject of being a caregiver with all of its pain. It is hard to see a loved one suffer. At the same time there is joy there in knowing that you are doing what you can to help another person through their suffering and pain. As hard as it is to watch my mother’s health deteriorate and knowing that I won’t have her much longer I also have a peace in my heart knowing that I have been here for her. It will make the coming loss easier to bear.

Today I am also reminded of the diversity that there is in life and in people. Every year I design my own calendar featuring my art work from the previous year. I have a group of family and friends who look forward to this calendar. In addition to art work I have found sites that give the major holidays, religious and secular, as well as some of the sillier holidays. I also put family birthdays and anniversaries on it. You can find the flower and jewel for the month as well as which zodiac signs fall in that month. It goes to Chinese friends so you know when Chinese New Year is and that it will be the Year of the Tiger and when the Dragon Boat Festival is and other Chinese holidays. It goes to Jewish friends and you will find when Shavout and Purim is and other Jewish religious holidays. It goes to Christian friends and you will find the Ascension and Pentecost and the other Christian holidays. You will find the phases of the moon and when the Equinoxes are. Geek Pride Day is there along with J.R.R. Tolkien and Hobbit Day after all we geeks need to celebrate something other then being made fun of all the time. The calendar is the work on months of preparation. I start the next year’s calendar shortly after I print up the batch for the current year’s Christmas presents. It is a work of love and a sense of pride for me. I love the pleasure it gives to other people. I am printing my first one now and can hardly wait to show it to my Mom. She loves the calendar.

I was reminded the other day at Wal-Mart that giving of ourselves is a rewarding experience. I was stopped by a man in his, I would say, maybe early thirties. He was very polite and asked if I could help him. He was making Beef Stroganoff and wanted to know if he had the ingredients he needed. We were in the section by the movies and books so I’m not sure why he approached me. Maybe I looked like someone who knew how to cook, however that person may look. Maybe I looked approachable. Maybe I reminded him of his mother. Maybe it is because when I’m out I try to smile. It is difficult times for everyone and smiles don’t cost anything to give out. It so happens that I am a cook and have a recipe that I developed for Beef Stroganoff and was glad to share that knowledge with him.

This gray day also reminds me of my personal commitments to causes I believe in. Having been a victim of an abusive marriage it reminds me of my fight to help other women get out of that situation and to try and give them the support and strength to escape. It reminds me of my commitment to health care reform. Working at a hospital I know first hand that this is a crisis and not a political game as some of our elected officials are treating this. I know that lives are being lost daily because of the lack of health care benefits. I know that the only way my mother is getting health care now is because of Medicare. I know the struggle that the elderly are going through. I keep on my elected officials and let them know that my vote and the votes of anyone I can convince rest on their doing something to solve these crises.

So today may be gray but it isn’t gloomy. I am working on something I love doing, my calendar. I will experience the joy of watching my mother’s face as she looks at the calendar and discovers the holidays for the upcoming year although I may not be able to explain what a Hobbit is. I had the joy of helping someone with a cooking problem. I love to cook and passing the knowledge on to someone else made me happy. I have a new picture that show that gray can be beautiful as the “Moon Princess” is. And oh yes if you want a great beef Stroganoff recipe here is how I do it.

Beef Stroganoff
Recipe By :Michele Wilson
Serving Size : 4


Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
1 pound beef fajitas meat -- fat removed
3 teaspoons vegetable oil
1/3 cup red onion -- thinly sliced
1/2 pound mushrooms -- thinly sliced
8 ounces fettucine -- uncooked
2 teaspoons low sodium Worcestershire sauce
1/4 teaspoon paprika
1/8 teaspoon white pepper
1 tablespoon no salt added tomato paste
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
1/4 teaspoon dry mustard
1/4 cup white wine
3/4 cup plain low-fat yogurt
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1/4 teaspoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt


Slice beef into bite-size pieces around 1/8 inch thick. Heat 1 teaspoon of the oil in a wide frying pan over medium-high heat. Add half the steak. Cook, stirring, just until strips are browned on all sides; remove from pan. Repeat with one more teaspoon of the oil and the rest of the steak.

Add red onion and mushrooms to the pan with the remaining teaspoon of oil, if needed. Cook, stirring, until most of the liquid has evaporated and mushrooms are browned.

Meanwhile, in a 5 to 6 quart pan, cook the fettucini in 3 quarts of boiling water just until tender, about 8 to 10 minutes.

To the mushroom mixture add Worcestershire sauce, paprika, pepper, thyme, mustard, tomato paste, salt and white wine. Blend the cornstarch and sugar into the yogurt and add to sauce mixture. Cook, stirring, until sauce is bubbling and has thickened.

Return meat to pan, stirring to coat, and cook just until heated through, about 1 minute.

Drain pasta and place on platter and top with meat mixture.

Per Serving (excluding unknown items): 515 Calories; 17g Fat (30.9% calories from fat); 33g Protein; 53g Carbohydrate; 3g Dietary Fiber; 61mg Cholesterol; 399mg Sodium. Exchanges: 3 Grain(Starch); 3 Lean Meat; 1 Vegetable; 0 Non-Fat Milk; 1 1/2 Fat; 0 Other Carbohydrates.

NOTES : Vermouth can be substituted for the white wine. Shallots can be substituted for the red onion.

Haven't Got Time for the Pain

“Compassion can be put to practice if one recognizes the fact that every human being is a member of humanity and the human family regardless of differences in religion, culture, color and creed. Deep down there is no difference.” Dalai Lama

I spoke with one of my brothers last night who is caregiver for our Aunt with dementia. He was saying how he could really relate to what I have written about care giving. He and I are on the opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to politics but we are united in the burdens we share of trying to make it through the daily struggle of being a caregiver.

Mom had another surgery last night to take off another cancerous spot on her face. They had to go in three times to make sure they got it all. She came home with another huge bandage. This time though she came home in immense pain. She can’t take vicodin or Tylenol with codeine. She is taking the medicine for arthritis and hope it helps.

That is one of the hardest parts about being a caregiver. There is no magic wand that you can wave that will take their pain away. There is no magic wand that will restore lost memories so that an oldest sister can look at the picture of her only brother and remember who is was. He was my Dad.

You juggle finances to try and help out as much as you can but there never seems to me enough to go around. As my brother says you rob Peter to pay Paul. I’m juggling to pay my medical bills even though I have insurance. I brought home a bag full of medicines last night to try and get another infection under control. I would never pass an athletes drug test with the amount of prednisone in my system. To say nothing for having to up the dosage on my arthritis medicine, going back on the little purple pill to keep the acid from destroying my stomach and esophagus, something to help me get a little sleep at least in between listening for Mom to make sure she is okay, and a little something to keep from stressing out completely. I feel like a walking drug store.

We are now looking at another surgery for Mom. The clamps they put in many, many years ago when she had her hysterectomy are coming loose. That means abdominal surgery She wants to get it done before the end of the year so that her secondary insurance will have to pay some money out.

A refrain keeps running through my head this morning, just the line “I haven’t got time for the pain.” I feel that way sometimes. I am too busy trying to take care of Mom and comfort her that I’m glad of the medicine that helps to dampen down some of the stress. Mom has enough physical pain she doesn’t need to see me hurting inside.