Playing

The people who make one of my art programs definitely have a sense of humor. I use Poser to do my people and most of my animals. A few months ago I found their "disembodied body parts" feature. Now I have found their "stick figures" feature. Now, I asked myself, why would anyone want to do stick figures for in graphic art? Unfortunately my mind came up with the answer. You know the old saying "beauty is in the eye of the beholder?" Well in this picture called "Eye of the Beholder" it is art. Something tells me that this guy shouldn't give up his day job.

 

Renewal

As I was going through old art last night the Bryce rendering of one of the pictures I wanted to redo turned up missing. I lost a hard drive a few years ago and they were not able to retrieve the data. The model was most likely on that drive. I have the picture that came from it but not the model that I could make changes to. I decided to recreate the scene from scratch. The picture was for my short story "Mirror Image." I will probably redo all of the pictures that I did that I no longer have models for.

I look at this new venture as a lesson in renewal. To keep life from becoming stagnant a person has to be open to renewal and new things. Life is an on going process. I am a person who is open to new things, new adventures, new ideas. I don't want life to be boring.

I had a moment of wonder when I decided to redo some of my old pictures. I wondered whether this meant I was running out of new ideas or not. I know now that I still have plenty of ideas for pictures but that I also needed to reexamine some of the older work that I wasn't satisfied with. Just because something is older it doesn't mean that it can't be improved. Some things like classic coke should be left alone of course but there was no compelling reason for me not to redo some of my art. As I have learned new techniques I want to be able to use them. The renewal of my artwork is an affirmation of my abilities as they have grown as an artist. I hope I never lose the ability to renew in my personal life as well.

 

Change

"You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don't let yourself indulge in vain wishes." Rabindranath Tagore

I really love my Oriental Wisdom calendar. It has so many great sayings. Change is inevitable. There is little in life that stays exactly the same. Sometimes to make change happen a person needs to get up off their duff and do something. You often hear that the past can't be changed however that isn't strictly true. While you can't change the events of the past you can change how your behave now in regards to the past. You can let the past be a learning experience and change how you deal with the present.

I've been working lately on some of my older art that I wasn't totally satisfied with. I did the original "Mars Colony" back in 1998. While the basic concept remains good the new tools I have to work with now made it possible to change the picture into something more like what I wanted. You can see the new version and the old above.

Change can be done in life also. I was very depressed after my divorce and wanted to do little but go to work and then come home and vegetate. By taking control of my life I decided that I really didn't want to live that way. I sought help for the depression and allowed myself to move on with my life. I am much happier since I made that decision.

 

Life Cycle

An idea for a picture popped into my head as I was leaving work on Friday. I worked on it all weekend. It took a combination of four pictures including the background and some fancy fiddling around in Painter but I am very happy with the results. I am calling the picture "Life Cycles."

I became interested in Astronomy at a very young age and took a course at our local college when the chance came up. I watched Carl Sagan's "Cosmos" series and loved it. I have read and studied many different astronomers. I am fascinated by the life cycle of stars and how they form, live their lives, and die and in death often provide the material for new stars to form. The picture represents the three stages in a planets life; that as a new planet to life, a planet enjoying it's middle age and finally a planet whose sun is going nova drying up the oceans and gradually robbing it of all life.

Our own lives often go through cycles. My niece went through the joys of love, marriage, children, and then at the end divorce. She has recently married for a second time to a wonderful man. From the ashes of her pain she grew into a very strong young woman who will be a wonderful wife to her new husband.

In my own life I too knew happiness, marriage, and then divorce. From my pain I have grown into a very strong woman. I have also grown as an artist. Over the weekend I redid a couple of my older pictures. As I learn to use this computer tool I realized that I could improve on some pictures that I did when I was first starting out. I had limited myself in my thinking that I couldn't go back and redo something. I realized that there was nothing stopping me from making changes to my own artwork. I realized that the original concepts were still good but that I could make the improvements I wanted to make the picture more like I wanted it to be at this point in time.

I watched over my mother this weekend. She is sick with another infection. She gets tired so easily now. I try to do everything I can to make things easier for her but she is still too stubborn to take it as easy as she should. She is in the twilight of her years and with her 80th birthday coming up and with a bad heart it is doubtful how many more years she will have left. For her though the thought of death is not frightening. She believes in a life in the here after and that she will join my Dad and her family who has gone before her. She is a very spiritual woman. I feel sorry for people who no longer believe in God and that there is life after death. It is knowing that you will be able to see your loved ones again that gives you the serenity to face your life.

 

Catching Up

"And once we have the condition of peace and joy in us, we can afford to be in any situation." Thih Nhat Hanh

Now that the wedding is over I need to get caught up on other things. My website needs to be updated with new stories and about six months worth of art. I have a new fan that loves the site and I have some new pictures that I would like him to see.

I also need to take a serious look at Match.Com and see who is out there that might be fun to get to know. So far the one date that it has brought has been a disappointment but then I haven't really taken a good look myself.

I need to get the nag voice on and get my brother moving to get his disability pay. He is running out of time and mother has to retire. She can't afford to support him and after she goes none of us can either. He has to do something for himself.

I have some sewing to do this weekend for my mother. It is simple hemming of pants so I can knock that out in about an hour for all the pants. I should also get busy and make some summer clothes for me since we are going into the 90 degree weather at the moment.

I have an interesting picture in my head that I am working on. I just need to reboot this cranky old machine and free up some memory so that Bryce doesn't take forever to render. AOL likes to hold on to memory even if it isn't running. One of these days I must find a decent service provider that won't take forever to upload a new website and transfer my Journal over. Although reading about the trials my brother has had in moving his Journal I may wait on that. Right now the only choice locally is abysmal.

The other major thing I need to do is for myself. I have to try and figure out why the arthritis has exploded so badly especially in my neck. I'm going to be reading up to see what diet and exercise changes can be made that will get this under control. As I found out on the trip down South something has definitely gone haywire. I would get out of the car after sitting for several hours and the joints were so stiff I had trouble moving. That just won't do. I expect my body to behave itself and I'm determined to find out what I need to do to help it do so.

First up is a cup of coffee however to see if I can fully wake up in order to fight the mob at Wal-Mart to do Mom's shopping.

When I'm 64

I grew up with the Beatles and have the original vinyl LP with "When I'm 64" on it. I was reminded of that song last night when I was on-line trying to find secondary insurance for my mother. The company she is with now has suddenly not included her doctor of 25 years as a provider. She doesn't want to change doctors and I don't blame her.

There were several places that advertised instant quotes however once I put in the information for her I got the message that "We don't give quotes for people over 65." It is just the latest in the corporate view that the elderly don't count in life.

It is hard for the elderly to make it in this expensive world. Many of them only have social security to live on and that barely pays the expenses to keep them alive. My mother still works at the age of 80. Her 90 year old sister has to depend on her children and grandchildren to help pay for her medicine that keeps her alive.

It is a sad state of affairs that the elderly in this country are not revered as they are in many old world and Asian countries. Too often you read about the elderly being swindled. Too often you read about the elderly being assaulted. Too often you read about the elderly being stuck in a nursing home that is badly run and the elderly more inmates then patients.

One thing I would like to change in the country is our attitude towards our elders. I would like to see the younger people take care of the elderly better then they do now. I would like to see the stories that the elderly have to tell recorded and passed on to the succeeding generations. One day we too will be among the elderly and for some of us it is coming faster then we want. As the Bible says "As you sow so shall you reap."

The picture is called "Doorways."

 

Power Trip

Do not look at the faults of others, or what others have done or not done; observe what you yourself have done or not done." Buddha

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." Mahatma Gandhi

I made it back in one piece from the wedding trip. It was a long tiring trip that wrecked havoc with my nerves, my arthritis and my asthma. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat. It was worth it to see my niece so happy. It was worth it to spend time with my godchildren. The frequent hugs from my niece and her saying almost hourly when I was with her "Have I told you lately thank you and I love you." It made everything worthwhile. The dress fit her perfectly and she truly looked like a Princess Bride. She even gave me credit in the wedding program so that everyone knew I made the dress and the flowers.

One of the things I noticed was the huge numbers of trees while we were driving and the power lines that would rise above the trees. It was an interesting contrast of nature and technology. The UFO however springs from my imagination. The picture is called "Power Trip."

I am taking an extra day off before I head back to work and look at the disaster area that is known as my desk. I doubt much of my work got done while I was gone. Oh well it will replenish my badly depleted funds.

I called my mother frequently while I was on the road. I worried about her the entire time. She was so happy to talk to me and related all the doings of my crazy cat. It was good to get back and be able to hug her.

Now that the wedding has finally come and gone I can concentrate on things I need to do here. My website hasn't been updated in about six months. I need to try and get an Art site up that I can sell from. I need to take a good look at profiles up on Match.com and see who looks like they might be compatible with me.

I came back to the two quotes above on my Oriental Wisdom calendar. Both really resonate with me. In life you are responsible for yourself and what you do. It is an unhappy person who feels that they must constantly criticize others. The people I have known who are hypercritical of others are also the ones who refuse to admit that they themselves have faults.They see themselves as the perfect ones and everyone else as inferior. They are also the ones who refuse to forgive anything they perceive as a slight. They carry hate and resentment inside of themselves. It eats away at them and destroys their chance for happiness.

I let go of anger a few years ago when I realized that the object of my anger didn't care. He was one of those unhappy hypercritical people who has destroyed his life and now wallows in bitterness. I did not want to end my life in that way. I have found an inner peace in my life that I treasure.

I have a long list of things I need to do and today added another one to the list. My mother is celebrating her 80th birthday on July 6th. I am making her a special card and am trying to collect at least 80 birthday greetings to put on that card. If you would please take a minute to email a greeting to Pat at michelewln@aol.com Thanks.