“To express your courage outwardly is to concern yourself with death. To express your courage inwardly is to encounter life.” Lao-Tzu
“Think of the act of charity and all its beneficial results as aimed solely toward the benefit of others. Even though charity can be performed by those seeking their own benefit, altruistic giving involves no selfishness at all.” Dalai Lama
When I was growing up there was a movie called Network starring the late, great Peter Finch. He had a line that has become very famous, “I’m mad al hell and I’m not going to take it any more.” That is how I feel today. I wrote my last blog in honor of my Dad. He was a man I greatly admired and respected. He was my hero and I miss him very much. I got some beautiful comments over at The Daily Kos site that I have become a member of. I got slammed by my own family.
One brother took offense at my comment about red tape and that we were finally able to get him some help. I was told I had nothing to do with his getting his disability that he deserves. I was the one who went on line and downloaded and printed off the forms he needed and the addresses and phone numbers of where to go. I was the one who ordered and paid for getting him a copy of his birth certificate that he needed. I was the one who was contributing part of my paycheck to our mother who is constantly sending him money to help him out. I didn’t ask for thanks, which was good, as I certainly got none from him. I did it because he is my brother and I wanted to help.
I have always tried to be there for my brothers. I use to think their constant snarky comments were a way of showing affection. At least that is what they always told me. I am beginning to think it is all a lie. One “accidentally” cc’s me on a nasty crack he emailed one of my brothers. Snarky comments back and forth in email between the brothers at my expense is their idea of humor. Who cares if it hurts their sister? They don’t.
I willingly gave up my life and a good paying job to move in with my mother to take care of her in her declining years because she asked me too. I am working at a low paying, high stress job because that is all there is in this tiny little Midwest town. I moved away from all my friends. All of my beautiful stuff is in a storage shed that has been broken into three times. I didn’t ask for praise or kudos I did it because I loved my mother and I promised my Dad I would take care of her the best I could if he died before she did. I’m keeping my promise.
My Mom is in congestive heart failure. She has been constantly sick with one thing or another for months now. She is sick again today. I help clean around the house and talk to her and try to be there for her. I worry about how forgetful she has become. A few weeks ago she was in a panic because she couldn’t find her car keys. She had left them on a brick wall in the carport. Anyone coming up our driveway would have seen the keys and the car they clearly went to and could have stolen her car.
I got a call last week when my Mom couldn’t find her cat. Even though my brother works at the same place I do I got the call and I was the one who came home to find the cat hiding from a noisy handyman. One of the reasons my mother asked me to come and live with her was because she needed someone to help care for her. My older brother lives her also but she is always having to take care of him. She cleans up after him. She makes excuses for him. I just cleaned the bathroom we share that he messed up because the handyman is coming tomorrow to paint.
My brothers rarely call our Mom. She hears from them on holidays, maybe, not always then. They can find time for everything else especially tearing down their only sister but a half hour a week just to call and talk to their mother is too much to ask. Unless of course someone needs money then they call the Bank of Indiana.
The other target of derision in our family is my niece. She is the only one who treats me with love and respect. She is the only one I know for sure loves me back. We have been through hell together the last few years with failed marriages, being left penniless, trying to keep our heads above water and sometimes feeling that we are just treading water and wondering how long we can keep it up because we are getting so tired.
The thing that really gets me the most is the fact that because I am a liberal Democrat and they are Conservative Republicans I am not considered a “patriot.” I don’t “love my country” and I am “delusional” because I support our President Barak Obama. Maybe because I have worked in health care for the last ten years and have been a part of the struggle to try and get help for poor people in a conservative world I really understand what these people have had to go through with conservative politics barring their way towards help. I have learned to care. I helped elect a man who cares.
“Think of the act of charity and all its beneficial results as aimed solely toward the benefit of others. Even though charity can be performed by those seeking their own benefit, altruistic giving involves no selfishness at all.” Dalai Lama
When I was growing up there was a movie called Network starring the late, great Peter Finch. He had a line that has become very famous, “I’m mad al hell and I’m not going to take it any more.” That is how I feel today. I wrote my last blog in honor of my Dad. He was a man I greatly admired and respected. He was my hero and I miss him very much. I got some beautiful comments over at The Daily Kos site that I have become a member of. I got slammed by my own family.
One brother took offense at my comment about red tape and that we were finally able to get him some help. I was told I had nothing to do with his getting his disability that he deserves. I was the one who went on line and downloaded and printed off the forms he needed and the addresses and phone numbers of where to go. I was the one who ordered and paid for getting him a copy of his birth certificate that he needed. I was the one who was contributing part of my paycheck to our mother who is constantly sending him money to help him out. I didn’t ask for thanks, which was good, as I certainly got none from him. I did it because he is my brother and I wanted to help.
I have always tried to be there for my brothers. I use to think their constant snarky comments were a way of showing affection. At least that is what they always told me. I am beginning to think it is all a lie. One “accidentally” cc’s me on a nasty crack he emailed one of my brothers. Snarky comments back and forth in email between the brothers at my expense is their idea of humor. Who cares if it hurts their sister? They don’t.
I willingly gave up my life and a good paying job to move in with my mother to take care of her in her declining years because she asked me too. I am working at a low paying, high stress job because that is all there is in this tiny little Midwest town. I moved away from all my friends. All of my beautiful stuff is in a storage shed that has been broken into three times. I didn’t ask for praise or kudos I did it because I loved my mother and I promised my Dad I would take care of her the best I could if he died before she did. I’m keeping my promise.
My Mom is in congestive heart failure. She has been constantly sick with one thing or another for months now. She is sick again today. I help clean around the house and talk to her and try to be there for her. I worry about how forgetful she has become. A few weeks ago she was in a panic because she couldn’t find her car keys. She had left them on a brick wall in the carport. Anyone coming up our driveway would have seen the keys and the car they clearly went to and could have stolen her car.
I got a call last week when my Mom couldn’t find her cat. Even though my brother works at the same place I do I got the call and I was the one who came home to find the cat hiding from a noisy handyman. One of the reasons my mother asked me to come and live with her was because she needed someone to help care for her. My older brother lives her also but she is always having to take care of him. She cleans up after him. She makes excuses for him. I just cleaned the bathroom we share that he messed up because the handyman is coming tomorrow to paint.
My brothers rarely call our Mom. She hears from them on holidays, maybe, not always then. They can find time for everything else especially tearing down their only sister but a half hour a week just to call and talk to their mother is too much to ask. Unless of course someone needs money then they call the Bank of Indiana.
The other target of derision in our family is my niece. She is the only one who treats me with love and respect. She is the only one I know for sure loves me back. We have been through hell together the last few years with failed marriages, being left penniless, trying to keep our heads above water and sometimes feeling that we are just treading water and wondering how long we can keep it up because we are getting so tired.
The thing that really gets me the most is the fact that because I am a liberal Democrat and they are Conservative Republicans I am not considered a “patriot.” I don’t “love my country” and I am “delusional” because I support our President Barak Obama. Maybe because I have worked in health care for the last ten years and have been a part of the struggle to try and get help for poor people in a conservative world I really understand what these people have had to go through with conservative politics barring their way towards help. I have learned to care. I helped elect a man who cares.
I think it is time that Barak Obama said to the conservatives, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more.” Then he and the Democrat controlled Congress need to get to work on helping the people who are hurting the most. The conservatives have shown through eight years of neglect that they don’t care for the common man. “Compassionate conservatism” is nothing but a lie. My own family proved that to me.
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