Old and New

Okay Pixie and Merlin we have a nasty thunderstorm coming in to celebrate the New Year with. I know I don’t care for them either but Mother Nature does what she pleases. I know in the kitty world things are supposed to be dedicated to eating, playing, cat naps, and exploring which we all know if an euphemism for getting into things you shouldn’t. 2010 was not the best of years for any of us. There were a lot of changes and some of them were very painful. 2011 is going to bring even more changes to our world.

Pixie, you were with Mom when she died on May 26th and you stayed with her until Mike came home. That was such a loving and compassionate thing to do. I know it had to be very hard for you because Mom was your special person. You added three years to the life of a woman with an extremely bad heart. Mom said you were the brave one of the litter and the smart one. You decided this house was to be yours and the people in it belonged to you, especially Mom. You were also the one full of love.

Merlin you are a senior citizen now and you would like to spend your remaining years not being bothered by a little smart-aleck who pounces on you and chases you up and down the stairs. You know some kids just don’t have proper respect for their elders. You especially dislike the fact that you have to share me now with Pixie. You have always been the world’s biggest Momma’s Boy.

In October I was forced out of my job and decided to just take early Social Security. You both love the idea that I can be home to take care of you 24/7. We will ignore the fact that each of you thinks that I should devote my entire attention just to you. Yes, both of your eyes have a bit of green in them.

2011 will be a lot of upheaval in all our lives. Pixie this is the only home you have known but we will need to move. Merlin you have done this move a couple of times before. You don’t like it, I know. We have to sell this house. There is no way that Mike and I can afford it by ourselves. Talk about exploring Pixie you can “help” me go through all the cupboards and shelves and desks and cabinets and hidey holes in this maze. Both Mom and Dad were pack rats and I need to go through everything and decide what to keep, what to toss, what to give to charity, and what to sell. It will be a humongous task but it has to be done.

We will also be moving down to North Carolina. So Pixie and Merlin I need you to practice saying “meow y’all” okay? My brother and I decided that Pixie would be better off with me. My six year job of caretaker is over and I need to move on. I am not a small town girl and I need to get back to the big city.

We will be renting an apartment in Winston Salem that is close to where my niece, her husband and three children live. They are cat owners guys so I know you will like them. Pixie you are going to love Maggie but it is doubtful how Winston Salem is going to survive you two on a rampage. Merlin you will have a soul mate in Dharma who understands how irritating little sisters can be especially when you weren’t consulted about whether or not they should be part of the household.

Winston Salem will be a perfect fit for me. I have already met some of the movers and shakers in the art community there and will be actively pursuing selling my art, photographs, and jewelry. It will help supplement my Social Security. It will fulfill a dream of years for me.

It will be nice to get all my things out of storage and set up a place of my own again. Merlin you will recognize our old couch and footrest. You especially loved the footrest since that had the large toy white cat on it. Pixie you are adaptable and young so you will get use to the new place really fast. With a new place of our own maybe all three of us will feel a little more cheerful. This place is haunted by too many memories of Mom and Dad and constantly reminds us of how much we miss them.

A new life awaits the three of us but for me it will also bring a chance to help others on a larger scale. My niece is actively involved in the problems of the homeless and introduced me to some of the people she works with on United Way and other projects. I will have the time and resources down there to do my part to help others the way they helped Bernadette when she was left homeless with three children under the age of six. One of the reasons for living is to be able to help others. I’m not rich but I have time and talent I can use.

Being a caregiver is the most rewarding and most painful job in the world. I want to be able to help others who are in that position. Seeing how much Pixie helped keep my mother alive I want to explore getting pets to others who could use that love in their lives.

So kids we have one very busy year ahead of us with lots of changes. We have this old house to go through and clean up and sell. We have a new home to set up the way we want. We have new people to meet and some family that we can share our lives with. We have a lot of excitement and probably frustrations too but we made it through this year. We can make it through anything. Now come on you two how hard is it to say “meow y’all?”

My picture is called “New Year’s Prayer.” I pray 2011 is a good year for everybody. We all have a lot of work to do to help those who are less fortunate then ourselves but together we can do it.

Red, White, and Blue Christmas

Christmas is a time of rejoicing. It is a time for family and friends to put aside grievances and try and join in the true Spirit of the holidays. It is a red, white and blue Christmas for me. The red holiday decorations are all over town and I put up a couple of decorations on the table just so we would have something Christmassy to look at. It is a White Christmas with plenty of snow on the ground. The blue comes from the physical in a badly bruised hand to the emotional, it is the first Christmas without Mom.

Christmas this year was simply going through the motions. I had to push myself to even think of the holidays. It feels so weird not having Mom here. I still continue to do things that I know she would love. I can hear Mom now looking at my Christmas picture telling me how cute it is and telling the little girl to get her thumb out her mouth and scolding the cat for playing with the ornaments. I had been at a total loss for what to do about the Christmas picture this year and subconsciously ended up doing the perfect “Mom” picture.

My Dad was the ultimate little kid when it came to Christmas. He was always the first one up and could hardly wait until it was time to open the presents. I inherited his ability to grown up and still be a big kid. I still get excited about opening gifts. My Mom was more blasé about the holidays. She was more concerned with Christmas dinner then the whole thing of unwrapping gifts. She hated to shop and frequently gave checks to people to buy what they wanted. Every once in a while though she would go through the catalogs she received almost daily and order something for us. They always turned out to be the perfect gift.

It was a tight Christmas for me. The COBRA has just gone up to $541.00 a month which wipes out over half of my Social Security. I did inexpensive gifts and a lot of home made. I know my three grandchildren love art work so I sent them two matted pictures a piece in themes they love. Several people got my art calendar with the listings of goofy holidays. All the women got one of a kind jewelry that I designed and made.

Christmas has always been my favorite holiday but today I just wish it would hurry up and end. I miss giving my Mom a hug and telling her Merry Christmas. I miss the look of joy on her face when she scolds me for spending money on her while wrapping herself if the fluffy light blue robe I just got her. She was so frail and got cold so easily. I can still see her showing Pixie the pictures I made and pointing to the cat in the picture and telling Pixie that was her. Of course she had to add that Pixie was much prettier of course.

I was able to see the joy on my brother’s face when he opened up the” Blazing Saddles” DVD and exclaimed it was his favorite movie. He was also very touched that I went ahead and bought him the Walkman MP3 player. He told me that he knew money was tight and that made the gift even more special.

I was Mom’s caregiver for six years. For six years I did her Christmas shopping for her and did all her wrapping. She gave me some challenges like Department of the Army floor mats for my brothers car. I did the Christmas dinner shopping for her. I made her cookies for this time of year. I went outside and took pictures of the snow for her since she really didn’t like going out it the cold weather.

I know that time eventually heals all wounds but there will always be an empty place inside where my parents were. I have so many wonderful memories of them that helps but it still doesn’t take the place of feeling their arms around me.

Next year will be a little easier because I will be spending the day with my niece and her family. She is like a daughter to me and I consider her three children to be my grandchildren. There will be an empty place where Mom and Dad should be but I understand it will always be there.

So Christmas is about half done for today. Merlin has his new catnip mouse and Pixie is playing Mighty Huntress with her new toy. My brother is getting ready to go back to work and I’m going to make some supper and watch some Doctor Who Christmas specials.

Thank you for your support during this rough year for me. I hope your holidays have been filled with joy and laughter and love.

A Kitty Christmas Card

A few years ago I did this picture which I think succinctly sums a cat’s view of everything including Christmas. Merry Christmas from Merlin and Pixie. May Sandy Claws be good to your pets.