If It's Tuesday It Must Be Wherever

"Peace and Harmony can prevail only when the individual is able, in the present moment, not to be uncomfortable with others." Ramesh Balsekar

"You carry heaven and hell with you." Sri Ramana Maharshi

I am recognizing the effects of the strain of a stressful job and the care of my mother over the last two years. I worry so much about her because she is so stubborn. In fact if you look up the word stubborn in the dictionary it probably has a picture of my Mom as an illustration and if it doesn’t it should. She is still working full time at age of 80 for the same stressful place that I do. She claims she is going to retire in January and it seems I’ve heard that song before and it isn’t a tune I care for. The frustrating thing is that she has enough in retirement and other places that she can live without working but she wants to make sure her children and grandchildren have money when she goes. She can’t seem to realize that we would rather she use the money on herself and be with us longer. Ironically the one thing that might make her actually retire this time is Pixie. The kitten has wormed her way into Mom’s heart and she loves being around her. This unabashed affection of a little creature may make Mom stay home and take care of her. Whatever works.

The last two day's quotes from my Oriental Wisdom calendar really resonate with me. I know right now I don’t feel peace and harmony. I feel very torn up inside and I realize I’m not dealing real well with outside problems. I am not comfortable with some people and I’m not comfortable with myself.

 

By our very nature as humans we carry both good and evil within us, both heaven and hell as the Marharshi says. For those whobelieve in the Bible this is illustrated in the Garden of Eden and Original Sin. It manifests itself in the duality of human nature. How many times have we read about someone snapping and committing great evil only to hear family and friends say that he was such a good person and they can’t believe he committed such an atrocity. They never saw it coming. Man has an infinite capacity to hide.

 

I may be more sensitive to the cruelty that man can inflict because I was a victim of such cruelty from my ex-husband. He was a man whom many people believed was the good "born again Christian." If there were ever an Academy Award for acting in real life he would win best actor hands down. He sure had a lot of people fooled. He knew how to project this meek and mild manner that was the opposite of his true self. My niece had the misfortune to marrying someone similar. “Oh what a tangled web we weave when we first we practice to deceive.” Sir Walter Scott.

 

I think Satan is having a field day with Earth any more and has entangled so many in his web. He has so many people convinced that he doesn’t exist. This denial of evil means that there is no longer in many lives a standard to judge evil by. Satan is the Father of Lies and one of his biggest lies is that neither he nor God exist. If you deny both of their existences then where do you get the moral standards to judge what is right and what is wrong? For me my life is based on the standards that my belief in God and Satan shows me what is right and what is wrong. I know God loves me and he will help me resist the evil that Satan brings. That is important to me. I also know God will forgive me when I transgress and he will continue to love me and help me be a better person.