Sometimes It Is The Little Things

Sometimes it is the little things in life that make things work. I got around to balancing my checkbook, something I normally do as I make a purchase, but somehow in the Christmas rush I didn't get around to it until today. I made a major error in writing down a bank transfer from savings to checking on Christmas Eve and then forgot to make the transfer on line. Two checks that hadn't been cashed yet saved the account from being overdrawn.

A part that cost less then $5.00 means I can listen to my music at anytime without worrying about waking up my mother or my brother. A small part that allows me to listen to my headsets broke down so the headset wouldn't stay in the CD player. So now I can rock out to U2 without my Mom who listens to "little old lady music" and my brother who is strictly classical not being disturbed by my rocking out to Bono and band.

A couple of years ago I was getting ready to walk into the mall when a boy about 10 ran ahead of me to open the doors. He was accompanied by his Dad. I smiled and thanked the boy and turned to his Dad and told him with a smile "your son is a real gentleman." I will never forget the smile on the Dad's face. You could tell that six little words from a stranger had made his day. I can still see the smiles on both of their faces to this day.

I was kidding my Mom that for a free cat Merlin sure costs a lot of money. No amount of money though could make up for the pleasure I have gotten out of him. The way he brightens up my Mom's life is without price. So I guess the premium litter, cat food, bottled water and toys are worth it. He may be spoiled rotten but he is my spoiled rotten cat.

Little things can make a big difference in this world.

Sci-Fi

Tonight is Geek night. The Sci-Fi channel is showing the season premiers of Stargate, Stargate Atlantis, and Battlestar Galactica. We have been waiting since September to see how the cliff hangers are going to be resolved. While the shows are a science fiction fan’s delight I see a parallel to our own lives in them.

 

Stargate has dealt with a race who tried to convince other worlds that they were gods. They actually were slavers to whom life meant nothing and other beings existed only to be used. Their supporters were fanatics who killed anyone who didn’t agree with them. When the race was finally defeated by mankind another even more treacherous race appeared who believed they were gods. Again their supporters were fanatics who destroyed anyone who wouldn’t worship the false gods. You can see the parallels in the volatile world we live in. The people behind terrorist attacks have convinced their followers that they are doing god’s will in spite of the fact that their holy books say the exact opposite. How can a war be holy if it is against the commandment thou shalt not kill? Gullible minds are being brainwashed into thinking they are doing god’s will when they are actually doing what the devil wants.

 

Stargate Atlantis has dealt with a race that sucks the life out of beings. I see the parallel to various cults including Scientology. Scientology can convince a high school drop out like Tom Cruise that he knows more about the human mind then scientists and doctors. I had suffered from depression when I was in the throes of an abusive marriage and its aftermaths. Vitamins are not the answer. Cults prey on people that don’t have the education to know that they are being lied to. It is as if what reasoning power they have is sucked right out of them.

 

Today’s news had another quote from Pat Robertson that had me seeing red. How can anyone think that God, who so loved the world that he gave us his only Son and the Son who loved us so much he willing gave his life for our  sins, would ever afflict a world leader with a stroke because he was trying to affect a peace agreement to stop the hatred and the war that has raged for over fifty years?  How can he say that God would send a fanatic to kill a world leader because he was trying to bring about peace? How can he suggest we kill a world leader? What sucked the brains, compassion and conscience out of this man?

 

Battlestar Galactica is dealing with a person who let power go to her head. Mankind is fighting for its life in the show and she is trying to play god. How often in this world have we seen leaders take godlike powers unto themselves in the name of what they think is right?

 

Science fiction may seem like fairy tales to some but it has always had an element in it that makes you think. That is what drew me to it when I was eight years old and that is what still draws me to it now.

 

The Door

I finished a picture last night inspired by the television show "The Prisoner." It is a surrealistic picture but then several of my art pieces do veer off into that aspect of art. I am a huge fan of Salvatore Dali. The show may be thirty years old but it still has meaning for today.

In our lives we have a tendency to make our own prisons. We limit ourselves in what we can accomplish and how the quality of our life is led. We sometimes allow emotions to rule us rather then us rule them. Some people are fueled by anger and hate. Some people are driven by self doubt and self hatred. Some people are simply afraid to dream.

In the picture the man is staring at the door as if that is the only way out. He feels that he is trapped by the Guardian on the other side. He fails to look around him to see that there are many other avenues of freedom available.

It can be difficult to take that first step towards getting yourself out of a trap. I know because it took me six years to find the courage to leave an abusive husband. It wasn't easy since I had been warned that he might try to kill me if I left him. I was determined however to take control of my life and get away. Once I took that first step towards freedom the other steps became much easier.

The important thing is that we are much stronger then we sometimes give ourselves credit for. Life is too short to be stuck in a relationship, a job, a lifestyle, or anything that stifles you as an individual and is a detriment to your own self worth. One thing that was almost lost in my marriage was my feeling of myself as a worthwhile human being. I was so psychologically battered that I had real doubts about myself as a person. It took one person, whom I didn't know all that well at the time, to give me back that spark that allowed me to rediscover myself. He looked at my art work and immediately offered me a place in his next convention's art tables.

It is important to have dreams for yourself but it is even more important that you do something towards making those dreams come true. I firmly believe that we must never allow ourself to be stuck in a prison of our own making. There are paths to freedom out there if you search for them. Sometimes it is the road less traveled that you need to take but for your own well being you must take that first step yourself. If you can help someone else who is trapped do so. You may be saving their life too.

Cats

Cats are wonderful creatures. They all have personalities of their own and no two are ever alike. My cat Zonker was huge. He was 21 pounds 3 ½ feet from head to tip of tail and 15 inches at the shoulder. He was a red orange and gold tabby with amber eyes with a white heart on his chest. He was beautiful and he knew it. He had one of those personalities that left no doubt in anyone’s mind that he was a cat and you were just a poor human. Talk about a cat who never forgot that the Egyptians used to worship them. Zonker couldn’t be bothered with any little neighborhood. He was King of the Universe. Of course that didn’t stop him from getting lonely at one in the morning and wanting his ears rubbed.

 

Casper was my pure white good old boy. He was already ten years old when I got him. His previous owner had dumped him on the Vet with instructions to “put him to sleep he’s a pest.” Fortunately the Vet refused and kept him there until I decided a few years later that I wanted to take him home with me. Casper gave a new meaning to the word relaxed. Often times he would lay on top of the couch and you would suddenly find his paw draped on your shoulder. He just wanted to be near year and if you were going to watch TV any way he might as well use your shoulder as a paw resting place.

 

Sasha was my pride and joy. He was the friendliest cat you have ever seen. He had such a raucous personality that when I was running a science fiction convention he was our mascot. Sasha loved people. He also loved getting into mischief. His antics are legendary among those who knew him. There was the time that he saw Zonker walking by while he was on the counter top and you could see the light bulb go on “oh I’m going to pounce on my big brother” and he takes a flying leap into the water dish. This was the same cat who tried to walk on the bubbles in my bubble bath. Well they looked solid.

 

Merlin is my current cat. Spoiled rotten little momma’s boy that he is I still love him. His litter was abandoned by the mother cat so I have always been mommy to him. He currently gets mad and yells at the door when I go to work. Obviously it is the doors fault that it opened and let me leave the house rather then keeping me in to take care of him. I did mention Merlin is a bit on the spoiled side didn’t I?

 

What Do You Know

In a major surprise one of the combatants in my newsgroup actually forgave the other one because I asked him to. Well it's a start. Currently heat is being put on the other person and he is making mistakes and lashing out. He accuses the one guy of ignoring his "so-called" apology but thinks the rest of the readers have forgotten that this person apologized before he baited him with an obscenity filled post. He is also being told to reread what I said about hate because his actions prove his words about not hating are a lie. Life is interesting isn't it.

I once wrote a short story where my hero had to try and recover something he had hidden in a leprechaun's pot of gold. He found that leprechauns can be very tricky creatures. I have to wonder if enough heat is put on this one person if he can be tricked into forgiving. He has proven common sense and decency don't work. Maybe trickery is the key.

As for me I've said my piece and am trying to encourage conversation about the show. After all that is why we are there. I know everyone is tired of the entire feud and one guy's ego. Now if they would only say so on the board and not just to me in private emails it would help me out.

The picture is the cover art from the short story "Pot of Gold" found at http://members.aol.com/michelesstorys/gold.htm/.

 

Beauty

I finished my first picture of the new year and I am calling it "Celestial Dawn." Mother was thrilled by the picture and I am happy with it myself. My Mom said it was beautiful. It got me thinking about beauty.

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." An interesting phrase I suppose. Beauty is all around us if we are willing to look for it. I think as frail and skinny as she is and with her almost 80 years showing in her wrinkles, my mother is beautiful because she loves me.

Sunrise and sunsets are beautiful times of day because of the colors that they bring. If you look hard enough you can find beauty everywhere. I guess that is what makes me such an idealist, that I can find beauty. Someone accused me of  being naive when I urged forgiveness of a several month's long grudge match between two people. I think he is naive to think that bragging about sitting in a hot tub with Satanist cartoonists makes him look sophisticated. I think the continual hatred he exhibits in every thing he says is childish. He blames everyone else, including God, for not having the life he thinks he deserves. He never takes the blame for his own actions. Naive, petulant, and immature.

I don't think that the desire for peace and wanting to help others is naive. I will attempt to be peacemaker when I can and if someone thinks it is naive so be it. I do what in my heart I know is right.

We pass by this way but once in life and in my passing I want people to remember me as someone who cared enough to try and make peace where there is dissension. Someone who tried her best to make life better for others by helping as much as I am able. I want to be thought of as a caring individual.

A New Year

It is amazing how fast time flies as you get older. It is hard to believe another year is gone. As with many people for me 2005 had been a mixed year with some good and some bad but then that is the way life always is. No one can expect a totally good year or a totally bad year. Life is always a mixture.

I had hoped to start out the new year with a new picture but of course computers have a mind of their own and mine decided to crash right at 81% anti-aliasing. Of course it decides to do this on a picture where I had the most time consuming effect going and it takes 2½ days for a picture to render. This time I stopped the works at 82% and told it to save so if the computer crashes again at least it only has 12% to do over and not the whole picture. Maybe by nightfall it will be done because I have a couple of other pictures in my head I want to do but I have to wait for this one to finish before I can use my program to create a new picture.

Finish what you started. I don’t know how many times I heard that while growing up. I don’t want to think of how many projects in my craft box still need to be finished. Sometimes there are just so many things that I want to do that I can’t seem to get everything done.

I am getting close to finishing one project that is dear to my heart and that is the first short story collection in my fantasy series "Sean’s Stories." The picture above is called "Preparing for the King" and is of Merlin placing Excaliber in the stone for Arthur to pull out when he grows up. As I did with my picture I go back into the past for my stories. As a life long lover of fantasy books my own stories have elves, unicorns and dragons in them. They have been read by people from eight to eighty and can be found at http://members.aol.com/michelesstorys/Index.htm. I am starting what will be story fourteen today. I don’t feel comfortable trying to get a book published with thirteen stories in it. My Mom’s comment when I told her that was "a little superstitious are we?"

I guess in a way even the most ardent believers in science can have moments when the mind looks at the supernatural and wonders. My Dad was one of the most down to earth scientists you could ever meet however he has hundreds of books on ghosts, haunted places, the Bermuda Triangle and other paranormal things. The unexplained has a strange fascination for even the most logical of minds.

I delve into magic in my stories but the underlying theme is always the fight between good and evil. For me that is the fascination of life. How do you truly recognize evil and how do you fight it? It is so easy to be seduced by evil. Evil can wear a beautiful face. Evil can give you illusions of power. Evil can blind you to your own hatred and make you justify it in your eyes. The incarnation of evil in my stories is called the Dark One and I describe him as serpentine but having a cold beauty. He is a master of deception. Evil blinds us to the truth.

Today at Mass our pastor and pastors around the world spoke of peace. It has been designated as World Peace Day in my church. It is something that we all devoutly wish for that there will peace on this fragile planet of ours this year. It is the one thing I would like to give to everyone with this new year, the wish that you may find peace in your hearts and in your lives.