“In order to achieve a calm mind, the more you have a sense of caring for others, the deeper your satisfaction will be.” Dalai Lama
It is no secret that I have been going through a rough period. For the last five years I have been living in a small town, working full time at a stressful job, and trying to take care of my mother whose health is declining due to age and heart problems. The stress had worn me down to the point where I felt I was just losing it and I wrote about the feelings and pain of being a caregiver and found some people on line, whom I have never met in person, and they reached out to me to let me know I am not alone and that there is a community of people who have gone down this road before or are going through similar difficult times now and that we can be there for each other and help each other get through. This has made all the difference in the world to me.
Yesterday was Thanksgiving and it was a day I was truly thankful for. On Wednesday my Mom and I took off for a couple of hours and actually got out of this little town into a neighboring town that had a large Barnes and Noble store. I had $60.00 worth of gift cards that I wanted to use in getting at least part of my shopping done for Christmas. It was the first time Mom has been out like that in over a year. She was a bit fatigued after we were done but in a brighter frame of mind then I had seen her in a long time. Yesterday I made a proper Thanksgiving dinner for us. Normally I am a do it from scratch person but Mom had wanted to get the bargains for pre-made things. The turkey was smoked and fully cooked, the mashed potatoes were instant, the gravy came out of a jar and the stuffing a box. It was the first time in weeks that Mom had really sat down and ate a decent size meal. As I write this she is wrapped up in her blue fuzzy robe that I got her a couple of Christmases ago happily reading a Mrs. Jeffries Victorian mystery that I spotted in the bookstore and got with her in mind. She looks happy. This week off from work has soothed my nerves.
What I have learned this week is that we don’t have to do this thing called life alone. Their are people with the generosity of heart who will help us through. I learned we need to be there for each other. This week has given me back the sense of peace I had lost. It has given me back the energy to fight for what is my most pressing human issue and that is health care. Working at a hospital I see first hand that what we have now doesn’t work.
For years I have been working on an art piece. As a child I lived in New Mexico and that was where I first heard of the legend of the phoenix rising from the ashes into rebirth. My childhood in New Mexico has always colored that vision of the bird as being an eagle. In my mind I have always seen a flaming eagle rising from the sun. I decided a few days ago to rework an older picture to see if I could, this one last time, get the picture of my dreams. This morning I turned on my computer and, after waiting not quite patiently I’ll admit for a day and a half for the computer to render, the vision came true. This is what I have always seen in my mind.
Today I feel like the phoenix that has risen out of the sun. I know I am facing some very difficult times ahead. I am realistic enough to know that I will not have my mother too much longer. Her health has deteriorated too much. I also know that I have the strength of new friends to help and a place to go on Monday nights where I can talk to them.. So for all of you who have reached out this week to me thank you from the bottom of my heart. The picture is called “Phoenix Rising” and I dedicate it to all of you.
It is no secret that I have been going through a rough period. For the last five years I have been living in a small town, working full time at a stressful job, and trying to take care of my mother whose health is declining due to age and heart problems. The stress had worn me down to the point where I felt I was just losing it and I wrote about the feelings and pain of being a caregiver and found some people on line, whom I have never met in person, and they reached out to me to let me know I am not alone and that there is a community of people who have gone down this road before or are going through similar difficult times now and that we can be there for each other and help each other get through. This has made all the difference in the world to me.
Yesterday was Thanksgiving and it was a day I was truly thankful for. On Wednesday my Mom and I took off for a couple of hours and actually got out of this little town into a neighboring town that had a large Barnes and Noble store. I had $60.00 worth of gift cards that I wanted to use in getting at least part of my shopping done for Christmas. It was the first time Mom has been out like that in over a year. She was a bit fatigued after we were done but in a brighter frame of mind then I had seen her in a long time. Yesterday I made a proper Thanksgiving dinner for us. Normally I am a do it from scratch person but Mom had wanted to get the bargains for pre-made things. The turkey was smoked and fully cooked, the mashed potatoes were instant, the gravy came out of a jar and the stuffing a box. It was the first time in weeks that Mom had really sat down and ate a decent size meal. As I write this she is wrapped up in her blue fuzzy robe that I got her a couple of Christmases ago happily reading a Mrs. Jeffries Victorian mystery that I spotted in the bookstore and got with her in mind. She looks happy. This week off from work has soothed my nerves.
What I have learned this week is that we don’t have to do this thing called life alone. Their are people with the generosity of heart who will help us through. I learned we need to be there for each other. This week has given me back the sense of peace I had lost. It has given me back the energy to fight for what is my most pressing human issue and that is health care. Working at a hospital I see first hand that what we have now doesn’t work.
For years I have been working on an art piece. As a child I lived in New Mexico and that was where I first heard of the legend of the phoenix rising from the ashes into rebirth. My childhood in New Mexico has always colored that vision of the bird as being an eagle. In my mind I have always seen a flaming eagle rising from the sun. I decided a few days ago to rework an older picture to see if I could, this one last time, get the picture of my dreams. This morning I turned on my computer and, after waiting not quite patiently I’ll admit for a day and a half for the computer to render, the vision came true. This is what I have always seen in my mind.
Today I feel like the phoenix that has risen out of the sun. I know I am facing some very difficult times ahead. I am realistic enough to know that I will not have my mother too much longer. Her health has deteriorated too much. I also know that I have the strength of new friends to help and a place to go on Monday nights where I can talk to them.. So for all of you who have reached out this week to me thank you from the bottom of my heart. The picture is called “Phoenix Rising” and I dedicate it to all of you.
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