I Never Promised You A Rose Garden

Nothing is guaranteed in life. There is no warranty that says your life will be easy and you will get everything you want. Life is a gift from God and I believe that you will get out of life what you put into it.

There have been times in my life that I have been really upset at the way things have happened. There have been times when I've been angry with God. I was especially angry when he took my Dad away from me when I needed him the most. I had just fled an abusive marriage and was going to come out to the Midwest to be near to Mom and Dad. A month before I was planning to move Dad was planting a bush and keeled over and was dead before he hit the ground of a massive heart attack. I couldn't understand why God would take someone wonderful like my Dad and leave my abusive husband alive.

It took a long time for me to forgive God but one day I realized that God would have wanted someone good like my Dad near him and not someone like my ex. I grew much stronger as a person because I had to face my problems without Dad's guidance. I found out that I was a lot stronger then I realized. I have used that new found strength to come and take care of my strong willed mother.

God doesn't promise us that everything will be easy. He does promise that he will always be there for us and will give us the strength to overcome difficulties. I feel sorry for friends who are atheists because they have turned their backs on the greatest source of strength there is, the strength that comes from belief in a higher power.

I can only shake my head in disbelief at these so called preachers who attribute to God all sorts of hatred for other human beings. Jesus said "The greatest commandment is this that thou shall love the Lord thy God with thy whole heart, thy whole soul, and thy whole mind and the second is like unto this thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." No qualifiers. He didn't say thou shalt love thy neighbor providing he is white Anglo-Saxon Protestant upper middle class conservative Republican heterosexual. He said thou shalt love thy neighbor period. If we are made in God's image then all of us regardless of race, color, creed, religion, national origin, sex or sexual orientation are made in his image and it is wrong to harbor prejudice against any man who is different from us. We are all God's creatures and he loves us in spite of our failings.

My life hasn't always been the way I have wanted it to be but I  have worked hard to make it the best that it can be. I do what I can to help others and in doing so I have found a serenity within me that gets me through the hard times. God never promised me a rose garden but he promised me he would always be there for me if I had the wisdom to ask.

Glad I'm Me

One thing that really struck me after a very frustrating day at work is that I'm glad I'm me. I have two coworkers who spend an enormous amount of time trying to cause trouble for other people. Both have such sour dispositions. My life may not have been perfect but I wouldn't change it for anyone else's life. I'm glad I am me.

I have always been a person who sees a glass as half full. Yes, I've seen disappointments in my life but I would rather be an optimist then a pessimist. A pessimist has nothing to look forward to because he or she is always looking for the bad in life. Life has both good and bad in it. I would rather dwell on the good things in life then wallow in the misery of rehashing the bad.

One thing I have is a sense of humor. It may be warped but it is still a sense of humor. Personally I blame Dad for it since he is the one who watched Monty Python with me. This picture is called "I Spy." Remember that game you played as a kid on those road trips? "I spy with my little eye something red or whatever." This picture is "I Spy with my little eye the reason why the dog can never win at hide and go seek." Enjoy the day.

 

Influence

When I was in college there was a poem that was extremely popular called "Desiderata."  I probably still have a poster from then that has the poem on it. In many ways what it says mirrors a beautiful book I have that has the ancient Chinese wisdom of the Tao Te Ching. This particular book is illustrated with exceptional black and white photographs. The picture I chose for this entry is called "Morning Has Broken" and is my favorite picture of all the pictures I have done. The serenity in the picture soothes my soul.

 

 

 

 

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

Imagine That

My youngest brother the other day actually accused me of being a child of the sixties. Well let's see if that is accurate.

Music: look here original vinyl LPs of the Beatles, Dave Clark Five (man that Dave is one handsome dude), Animals, Seekers, and of course Noel Harrison. Check.

Jewelry: beads, look here a genuine peace pendant. Check.

Clothes: boots, jeans, t-shirts with slogans, hey look here a tie-dyed Moody Blues t-shirt, mini skirts are missing (I'm three miles from Chicago and it is already snowing give me a break). Check.

Politics: environmentalist, liberal, yep still sixties mind frame. Check.

Well what do you know he is right. ;-)

 

Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving Day here in the United States. It is a day when people should be thankful for the blessings they have been given in their lives. I have been thinking a lot this morning about the blessings that have come into my life. These are some of the things for which I am thankful.

I have a wonderful family. I'm glad Dad lived long enough to reach his 80th birthday. I miss him terribly and wish he were still here but I'm thankful for the wonderful memories I have of him. He taught me the joy in reading. He had a deliciously warped sense of humor that I miss. He gave me encouragement when I was at my lowest point and that encouragement gave me the strength to let my talents blossom and make me the artist, poet, writer, and chef I am today. Thanks Dad.

Thanks Mom for always being there for us. I am thankful she is still here. She is very frail now but we still have her with us and for that I am thankful.

Thanks baby brother Jerry without whose inspiration no one would be reading these words today. He has given me the encouragement to do this blog and some great publicity so that others may find this. Yes I will update it more often and did I mention he was the perfect one? ;-)

Thanks to brother Eric who was more then willing to discuss Star Wars and Lord of the Rings with me. It was nice to have another sci-fi buff in the house who understood his geek sister's love for fantasy and science fiction.

I'm thankful that in my life I have been able to meet and work with some of the performers that have enriched our lives by their work. There are moments that will always make me smile and lighten up a gloomy day. Peter Davison insisted that my staff find me and take me to dinner with them and then spent much of the time talking theatre with me. The look of joy (see picture) when Danny John-Jules saw that I had Merlin (who was only five weeks old at the time) and the "kitty" as he reached for him and proceeded to take him around the convention riding on his shoulder. The late Ray Sharkey turning to my staff and asking "do I need to go rescue her?" when he saw a couple of other staff members pulling me towards Hospitality because I hadn't eaten all day. His "Come here doll" as he was leaving and the huge hug he gave me. The sweet nature of George Takei and his wonderful laugh. Thanks to all of you and all the others who gave their talent to us in their performances and their time to meet and greet their fans.

I am especially grateful to God for giving me the strength to get through one of the most terrible periods in my life when I was trapped in the marriage from hell. Without his love and guidance I would have never made it out of there alive. He allowed my talents to break through at that terrible time and through the art work he gave me the confidence in myself and the boost I needed to take charge of my life.

So on this day of thanksgiving I am thankful that the highs in my life have triumphed over the lows. I am here and alive and have family and friends that love me. I have a God that watches over me. To my family and friends thank you for being there for me and to God above I thank you for the gift of your love.

The Age of Innocence

Some things are burned into your minds and will never be erased. Forty-two years ago today, I was just starting high school and finishing a history class. An announcement came over the loud speakers that everyone was to meet in the boys gym. No explanation. Like teenagers today we were wondering and speculating what in the world was going on. We took our places and looked over to where the microphone had been set up and noticed that some of the teachers were crying. We knew whatever had happened was serious and the room quieted. Our principal told us that in Dallas President Kennedy had been shot and killed. School was dismissed for the day.

For many of us that was the day that the age of innocence died. Kennedy's era was often called Camelot and he was our King and Jackie our Queen. He was young and dynamic and idealistic and even as teenagers who couldn't vote for him we still related to him. One thousand days is a very short time to make your claim on people's hearts but JFK had ours.

If someone were to ask me to describe my generation I would say we were the idealists who were realistic enough to know that you had to fight for what you believe in. We were the age of civil rights and the Peace Corp. We believed in the shining Camelot that Kennedy promised us and his death made us determined to make it a reality for everyone. We marched, we protested, we talked, we worked, some died fighting for what they believed in, and I believe we made a difference in this world. I believe we made the world a little better of a place to be.

For many of us that caring for others became a permanent part of our lives. In everything I do I try to make sure that I help as many people as I can. A year ago I gave up my independence and moved in with my mother to help take care of her in her declining years. I don't regret a moment of that decision. She needs me and as long as she is alive I will be here for her.

For many of us on that day 42 years ago our childhood ended early. That tragedy however made us strong and showed us that the ability to love and care for others is the legacy of that "one shining moment that is known as Camelot."

Aaarrrggghhh!!!!!!!

AOL is driving me nuts!!

Attempt 995 to get it to take the new picture. It is called "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes." My current dream is that AOL locks their techs up and refuses to let them near a computer program ever again.

 

Veteran's Day

Friday was Veteran's Day. I was reading that there are only 50 veterans left alive from World War I. My Dad was a veteran of World War II. I wish he had lived long enough to see the Memorial in Washington DC. My oldest brother is a veteran from Vietnam. The picture is a salute to all of our veterans who have risked or given their lives so that we may be free.

 

Science Fiction

When I was about eight years old I discovered something at my library called science fiction. I was immediately hooked and to this day I call myself a science fiction fan. A lot of my artwork is fantasy and space oriented. The SciFi channel's Friday night lineup is one of my favorites. While I took a week off to relax and spend time with my mother I ended up doing two new pictures. One picture shows a lighthouse and I called it "The Sentinel" after a short story by my favorite science fiction writer Arthur C. Clarke. The other is a surrealistic picture inspired by the song "Windmills of Your Mind." My baby brother gave me the most fantastic gift for my birthday this year when he found a remastered Noel Harrison CD that had all of his old songs on it. It has rapidly become one of my favorite CDs.