“I don’t know whether the universe, with it’s countless galaxies, stars, and planets, has a deeper meaning or not, but at the very least, it is clear that we humans who live on this earth face the task of making a happy life for ourselves. Therefore, it is important to discover what will bring about the greatest degree of happiness.” Dalai Lama
These last few months have not been happy. My mother has been constantly ill. I have been battling an infection that will not go away and has sapped my energy both physical and emotional. My job has been stressful in the extreme. I work at a small community hospital with its health care crises on a daily basis. The economy has hit home hard here where I live. I get an excellent performance review but my salary is frozen. I have always used my art and bouncing around the Internet as my stress busters and with my art/internet computer constantly down that avenue has been for the most part taken away from me. I can get dial-up on the old computer but I can’t do my fun areas of “Café World” and “Farmville”. I had cultivated a large group of really great neighbors that would allow me to expand and play the games with a real sense of community. It isn’t something that will change the world but it does provide some real fun as we plant, and reap, and care for our farm animals and then head over to our restaurants and cook.
What has been missing in all of the health and computer issues is a sense of serenity that helps me cope. I was cleaning up in the computer room yesterday and as I was dusting the Sherlock Holmes decorations my Dad put up I started thinking about them. He has a head of Sherlock Holmes and a head of Watson done in plaster and painted. I have read all the Sherlock Holmes stories and loved them. Mysteries are one of my favorite forms of reading. I have just started rereading the Judge Dee series by Robert VanGulik that take place in ancient China.
I started thinking about what Sherlock Holmes would be without his Watson or Judge Dee without Tao Gan, Ma Joong, and Chiao Tai. You have the brilliance and genius of Holmes and Dee and other great detectives but it is often the regular ordinary Watson and Judge Dee’s people who come from the common class who are the real inspirations for their genius. It is in the common sense questions that the detectives are asked by their associates that often shows them the answers to the complex problems they are dealing with. The associates are often asked to go out an observe for in their observations of the ordinary and real life the answers are found.
It is in the nature of people who are activists, like I consider myself, that we want to do it all. We want to be the one who makes the difference. We want our voices heard. Sometimes in our rush we forget that we can also be the workers. We can man telephone lines. We can stuff and mail envelopes. We can do the little things that need to be done. We can attend to the quiet needed to make sense out of this loud and strident world.
I don’t know how long I will be without my other computer. I know that one way or another that I will have an art/internet computer again. I need files from the other computer to do the art over here on this one. My tech person from the hospital will be able to find time hopefully in the next few days to come to the house and see what needs to be done. He will either be able to fix the computer or Mom said he can build me a new one salvaging the data drive that has all my art on it. I just need to be patient.
In the meantime I am looking at the art work copies over here and realizing that I want to redo a lot of pictures now that I have new models and better 3D techniques that have been developed over the last few years. I can play Watson to my artist Holmes. I can look at the pictures and say what I like or don’t like about them. I can look and say “what if” and make the changes when I’m up an running again on an art computer. I can listen to the still voice inside instead of raging and hushing it up because I am frustrated.
Something as simple as dusting a room and seeing the decorations my late Dad put up started the search for the calmness I have let get away from me. A request from my Mom that I try and get her some pictures out in the snow contributed. My digital camera has always been hooked up to this computer. Out in the snow I went and armed with new pictures I printed off some of the ones I knew Mom would like. She is feeling lousy too and it made her happy to look at the photos. It made me happy seeing her smile. My favorite picture from yesterday was this one though. I was on my way to the side door when I looked down at our little flower garden there. I snapped the picture and headed inside. As I pulled it up in Photoshop I felt a thrill as I looked at something that looked so cool. My first thought was “alien snow creature” but then I did spend most of the rest of the day watching my “Doctor Who” DVDs.
These last few months have not been happy. My mother has been constantly ill. I have been battling an infection that will not go away and has sapped my energy both physical and emotional. My job has been stressful in the extreme. I work at a small community hospital with its health care crises on a daily basis. The economy has hit home hard here where I live. I get an excellent performance review but my salary is frozen. I have always used my art and bouncing around the Internet as my stress busters and with my art/internet computer constantly down that avenue has been for the most part taken away from me. I can get dial-up on the old computer but I can’t do my fun areas of “Café World” and “Farmville”. I had cultivated a large group of really great neighbors that would allow me to expand and play the games with a real sense of community. It isn’t something that will change the world but it does provide some real fun as we plant, and reap, and care for our farm animals and then head over to our restaurants and cook.
What has been missing in all of the health and computer issues is a sense of serenity that helps me cope. I was cleaning up in the computer room yesterday and as I was dusting the Sherlock Holmes decorations my Dad put up I started thinking about them. He has a head of Sherlock Holmes and a head of Watson done in plaster and painted. I have read all the Sherlock Holmes stories and loved them. Mysteries are one of my favorite forms of reading. I have just started rereading the Judge Dee series by Robert VanGulik that take place in ancient China.
I started thinking about what Sherlock Holmes would be without his Watson or Judge Dee without Tao Gan, Ma Joong, and Chiao Tai. You have the brilliance and genius of Holmes and Dee and other great detectives but it is often the regular ordinary Watson and Judge Dee’s people who come from the common class who are the real inspirations for their genius. It is in the common sense questions that the detectives are asked by their associates that often shows them the answers to the complex problems they are dealing with. The associates are often asked to go out an observe for in their observations of the ordinary and real life the answers are found.
It is in the nature of people who are activists, like I consider myself, that we want to do it all. We want to be the one who makes the difference. We want our voices heard. Sometimes in our rush we forget that we can also be the workers. We can man telephone lines. We can stuff and mail envelopes. We can do the little things that need to be done. We can attend to the quiet needed to make sense out of this loud and strident world.
I don’t know how long I will be without my other computer. I know that one way or another that I will have an art/internet computer again. I need files from the other computer to do the art over here on this one. My tech person from the hospital will be able to find time hopefully in the next few days to come to the house and see what needs to be done. He will either be able to fix the computer or Mom said he can build me a new one salvaging the data drive that has all my art on it. I just need to be patient.
In the meantime I am looking at the art work copies over here and realizing that I want to redo a lot of pictures now that I have new models and better 3D techniques that have been developed over the last few years. I can play Watson to my artist Holmes. I can look at the pictures and say what I like or don’t like about them. I can look and say “what if” and make the changes when I’m up an running again on an art computer. I can listen to the still voice inside instead of raging and hushing it up because I am frustrated.
Something as simple as dusting a room and seeing the decorations my late Dad put up started the search for the calmness I have let get away from me. A request from my Mom that I try and get her some pictures out in the snow contributed. My digital camera has always been hooked up to this computer. Out in the snow I went and armed with new pictures I printed off some of the ones I knew Mom would like. She is feeling lousy too and it made her happy to look at the photos. It made me happy seeing her smile. My favorite picture from yesterday was this one though. I was on my way to the side door when I looked down at our little flower garden there. I snapped the picture and headed inside. As I pulled it up in Photoshop I felt a thrill as I looked at something that looked so cool. My first thought was “alien snow creature” but then I did spend most of the rest of the day watching my “Doctor Who” DVDs.
Today is my day to get back to listening to the calm.
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