Pat

Today marked the final journey for my mother. We got the urn with her ashes and they are being interred next to Dad. Their were just my brother and I along with our priest, Father Steve, and the representative of the funeral home. My brother remarked that today was harder then the Memorial service last Wednesday. I think because we were alone today it did feel a lot harder. I was greeted by Mom’s cat Pixie as I came home. She stays close to me now and I am the designated Mommy. Our hospital chaplain, also named Father Steve, told me after the Memorial service that I needed to do a special picture for my Mom. I finished it last night.

The picture is called “Pat.” It was years before I realized that my Mom’s real name was Mary Jane and not Pat. Everyone I knew called her Pat. It was one of those “huh” moments for a child and of course I had to find out how they get Pat out of Mary Jane. Mom was so proud of being half Irish. When she was a child her friends called her St. Patrick and then shortened it to Pat and Pat she always was.

I had always hoped to take Mom to Ireland. I made sure she had a St. Patrick’s Day card from me and for the last few years an Irish themed picture to go with it. The picture is my interpretation of an Irish farmyard. Mom was always a farm girl at heart. She never was comfortable in big cities and big city traffic. I put the lady in the picture wearing Irish clothes. Even though Mom always felt she was a farm girl I figured in my eyes she was much more then that. The “Irish Princess” dress just seemed to suit her. Mom had red hair when she was younger and with the hazel eyes and freckles she looked Irish. Of course the lady had to have red hair too.

When she was a teenager Mom had a pet chicken named Nancy. Her Mom, who wasn’t the most sympathetic of people, actually let Mom stay home from school for three days after the chicken died because Mom was so upset. So of course I had to put a chicken in the picture. I put the sheep in the picture to represent the Irish woolens. My Dad was definitely a city boy. My Mom was trying to compliment him on his big brown eyes and told him he had eyes like a cow. So of course I had to put a cow in the picture. While Mom never had rabbits I put one in the picture because she always loved the feel of rabbit fur. She would pet my sister-in-law’s pet bunny whenever she went to their house.

Mom always fed the squirrels. Her cat Pixie loved to sit in the dining room window and watch the squirrels. Sometimes she would race from window to window to keep “her” squirrels in sight. One day Mom had baked brownies and had put the oven at too high of a temperature. The brownies really weren’t edible but she figured there was no sense in wasting them so she dumped the 13x9x2 inch pan of brownies outside for the squirrels and birds to eat. A couple of the squirrels tried to pull that entire huge brownie from the front yard to the tree with their nest in it. Mom thought that was one of the funniest sights she had ever seen. She laughed about that for months. I put a cookie in the squirrel paws in honor of the many cookies that Mom put out for them. I still try and put food out for the squirrels and birds in honor of Mom and Dad who both fed the animals. The designated feeding spot is in front of a statue of St. Francis that my parents have in the front yard. Mom was always a dog person.

For several years she was devoted to her dog Ruffles. She mourned the dog all her life, Considering that Ruffles was pure mutt, a little cocker and a little German Shepherd and who knows what else, it was hard to find a model of a dog that looked like her. I settled on the black and tan puppy because it looks a bit like Ruffles if she had had short ears instead of floppy ones. I couldn’t do a Mom picture without putting a dog in there.

The monarch butterfly has a special meaning. My Dad had been out planting a bush when he keeled over and was dead before he hit the ground from a massive heart attack. Mom says she was outside and watching the ambulance people trying to revive Dad and knowing that it was too late. There are few butterflies where we live. Mom says that a Monarch butterfly landed on the bush that Dad had planted and she knew then that Dad was telling her that it was alright. Mom was a fervent believer in Heaven and she felt that Dad was telling her that he had reached his destination there and that she would join him when it was time. She felt a wave of peace rushing over her.

The two cats are of course Pixie and Merlin. Pixie is the little black cat reaching up and trying to play tag with the butterfly. Merlin is the silver tabby walking with the lady. In real life Merlin is that big. He hits me at the knees when he rubs against me and when he stands on his hind paws he can put his front paws around my waist. I put birds in the picture because Mom was always looking out for them and would put food out for them in addition to the food for the squirrels. Mom has always loved rainbows and I put the rainbow in the picture in honor of her. She always loved it when my pictures had rainbows and I frequently used rainbow textures in pictures for her.

Mom always loved roses so of course I had to put roses in the picture. I put a rose in the lady’s hand. My brother told me to pick out the urn for Mom. He trusted that I would pick one that Mom would have loved. I chose one that had 3D roses on it. It is simple and beautiful and very much like my mother.

I finished the picture with a church and a Celtic cross. For my Mom her Catholic faith was a major part of her life. She rarely missed Mass on Sundays. I couldn’t do a picture that represented her without putting a church in it. So this was Pat. She finished her mortal journey today with the burial of the ashes. She is reunited in death with her husband of 55 years. I believe that spiritually she is reunited with him too.

For me the journey is just beginning. We still have financial things to figure out and the rest of Mom’s belongings to go through and sort. I need to figure out where I want to live and more and more it looks like I will join my niece and her family in North Carolina. I originally came here because Mom had asked me to come and help take care of her. She knew that her heart could go at any moment. I took care of her for six years and I wouldn’t have traded it for the world. It has made me aware of the challenges that caregivers face. In honor of my Mom I want to continue to help publicize the real needs and problems that caregivers face. It is a difficult job and there are many things that need to be done to help caregivers provide the best care possible. There are laws on the books that make it difficult for caregivers. I want to fight to make sure that caregivers have the resources necessary to provide quality care. It is my call to activism along with more and better health care. In honor of the little black cat that added three years to my Mom’s life I will also do what I can to make people aware of the needs of animals and to be responsible pet owners. These are the causes that I will honor my Mom Pat with. She always wanted to help others and I can think of no better gift then to do the same.