Bedazzled or Thoughts on Moving

I moved to Indiana in September 2004 at the request of my mother. Mother’s health was getting increasingly fragile and there were things that only a daughter could do. I put most of my things in storage and started a new phase of my life as a caretaker. We are coming up to the first anniversary of Mom’s death. It has been a year of reflection and as I try to ready the house for sale and pack for my move to North Carolina I find I am seeing familiar things with a new eye.

My parents were both depression kids. Their view of life was polar opposites. My Dad felt that her had enough depredation growing up and he believed in spending the money he made so that he was surrounded by beautiful things. He made this house into their dream home. My Mom was the coupon queen. She saved and horded and nothing was thrown away until it disintegrated. I have been going through her things. She bought clothes on sale at thrift shops. The clothes were a bargain and she might wear them one day. I am giving 16 unopened bottles of shampoo and conditioner to the local safe house. She had coupons for them and they didn’t go bad and she might use them one day. We haven’t had to buy paper towels at all as Mom had so many of them piled up in closets.

What I am finding most of all is memories. Mom and Dad kept all the cards they received. I have put them in a scrapbook to share with their granddaughter and great grandchildren. There are old letters that were too special to throw away. I found my Dad’s trunk with his letters as a newly wed while he was in the Army in World War II. I have multiple boxes full of photographs and slides. I am slowly trying to get through them and scan them into my computer so that I can put them on discs and send them to my brothers. I find myself going I remember getting that for Mom or Dad. I see the image of Mom wearing a certain outfit. It is hard giving all the clothes away but I know that someone else will be wearing them and a part of Mom will continue to be tangibly here. Sometimes it hurts and tears come. I had to stop and take a break when I got to the drawer with Mom’ pajamas. Mom was so frail and she felt the cold so bad. A couple of years ago Wal-Mart carried some pajamas that were exceptionally warm. I got her a warm robe to go with them. One of my strongest memories is seeing Mom in the recliner wearing her blue fuzzy robe and holding her cat Pixie on her lap.

I am moving down to be close to my niece are her family. Bernadette is a daughter to me. She has three children aged 13, 15 and 17. She begged me to move down after Mom died. This move like my last move is to be where I am needed. It doesn’t make trying to get everything done and moved any easier but it does make the heart lighter to know that I am loved and needed.

I am moving from a physical caretaker to a caretaker of memories. I will be writing down all the things that I remember about my parents. The memories need to shared with their only granddaughter and their two great grandsons and great granddaughter. I will be taking down boxes of genealogy materials. One of the most important things that I will be taking down is a black cat with gold eyes named Pixie. Pixie was Mom’s cat. She gave Mom unconditional love and added five years to the life of a woman with a heart that only pumped 15% of normal. Pixie was with Mom when she died. I promised Mom I would take care of her.

My theme music at this time is courtesy of Kermit the Frog and “I’m moving right along.”