Fear

We have been having an intellectual discussion over in my Prisoner newsgroup. I'm proud of what is being discussed because I proposed the topic of existentialism versus realism in the show. We have talked about fear and what we fear and why we fear.

Are we afraid of things that we shouldn't be? Do things build up so badly that the only emotion left is fear? What makes us afraid?

One person fears that he has given in to society and not stood up as an individual. It brings up the idea of at what point do we need to exert our individuality and say no to those around us? Obviously there are some rules that we need to observe in society. We can't yell fire in a crowded theater just because we feel like it. We need to make sure our actions aren't harming others. We should have the right however to peaceful protest when society does something we don't approve of. We have a right to tell our elected officials when we think they are wrong.

For some people life is a series of things to fear. When I was in my marriage I had to worry about everything I said or did because my husband would explode and threaten me if I displeased him. I had to find a way to leave that gave me protection against the man my psychologist warned me would try to kill me if I left him. That type of fear can paralyze you.

People fear being laughed at. I can stand being told I'm wrong but I can't stand being ridiculed. The ego is a fragile thing and being laughed at is something that can crush a person's spirit.

There are some fears that are so intense they are called phobias. I can not stand being in small enclosed spaces. I dread elevators or large crowds because I am claustrophobic. I am also deathly afraid of snakes. I manage to keep the claustrophobia in check and there have only been a handful of occasions in my life when I have actually felt panicked. Snakes I can avoid although some movies love throwing them in. There are parts of "Raiders of the Lost Ark" that I have only glimpsed through fingers.

Fears can be overcome especially if you allow others to help you. Friends gave me shelter from my ex-husband and allowed me to break away and live a life where I no longer have to be afraid. I can get on elevators without my heart racing. I have overcome the fear of failure by giving myself reasonable goals and not beating myself up if I make a mistake. I am human after all and as the saying goes to err is human, to forgive is divine.

I think for me the ability to face each day without the dreadful fear of doing or saying something that would set him off has given me a new outlook on life. No matter what I face in the future nothing can be as terrifying as my past. I know what is important to me in life. When you have your priorities straight then you can look your fears straight in the eye and overcome them.

The picture is called "The Door." I showed it not to long ago but it does represent so well what I am talking about. If you look only at the things you are afraid of and fail to realize that all around you are ways away from your fears you will be stuck at that door being afraid forever. You can free yourself and you can help others to find their freedom.