“It is not possible to find peace in the soul without security and harmony between people.” Dalai Lama

Memorial Day started out with a bang this morning with the sounds of thunder shaking the house and Merlin rushing to be comforted. Any chance of sleeping in went out the window. In between the crashes of thunder and comforting a scared cat it did allow me to think about the meaning of this day. My own family has veterans that I honor today.

My father fought in World War II. I have his photograph album from his station in Tinian. He talked a bit about those days and like most children I avidly listened to his stories. His older sister, Hazel, was also in the Army during the war. She was a cook and we always teased her about cooking for an army still although she did cook Easter dinner for her brother and his wife and five children. My mother’s older brother served in Europe during the War. He retired as a Colonel after making the Army his life long career. His younger brother was a prisoner of war in a German concentration camp. My biggest regret was that they couldn’t build a memorial to these brave men and women until after the veterans of World War II in my family were dead. I would have dearly loved to have taken my Dad to see it.

My oldest brother is a veteran of the Vietnam war. It is something he doesn’t talk about. He was a chaplain’s assistant. He came home to find that he couldn’t get a job with his teaching certificate because the person who interviewed him called him a “baby killer” for being in Vietnam. He won the Bronze star but he won’t tell us why. For the most part those days are kept hidden inside. I remember those days of the constant worry about him. I remember baking endless boxes of cookies so he could have something home made. I remember finding a little miniature Christmas tree and tiny decorations so that he could have a tree for Christmas. I remember taking care of younger brothers and sisters so that my parents could meet him in Hawaii for R&R. I remember mother talking about being on the Arizona Memorial and how eerie it was to stand there and know all those people were dead in the water below you.

What we need to remember on this Memorial Day is not only the brave men and women who served in our Armed Forces but also their families and loved ones. It is so difficult to have someone you love in danger. We have the freedom in this country to oppose wars and government policies we don’t agree with. We also have the responsibility to remember that our ideological differences must also take into consideration that their are families with loved ones in those wars. They deserve our support. Their loved ones are risking their lives and we need to honor their commitment and we need to honor their families. Memorial Day is about people.

Since coming back to Indiana I do an arrangement each year for my Dad’s grave. I make the arrangement out of silk flowers so that it will last. My Mom asked if I could find a small flag to put in the arrangement because she wasn’t sure if the cemetery provided them or not. This is the arrangement I did for this year. My brother took it out for us and he said it was the most beautiful arrangement in that plot. That is because the flowers were watered with tears.

There is Still Beauty

“Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are a hundred ways to kneel and kiss the ground.” Djalal ad-Din Rumi

As I have mentioned before my little small, urban town has been hit hard by the recession. With the woes of Chrysler and General Motors our factories are cutting jobs because we make auto parts. In an effort to rehabilitate an injured ankle I went out and walked yesterday and will probably walk today and tomorrow too. What I discovered is that people are still trying to bring out as much beauty as they can. I think it shows the resiliency of our people that in spite of the news and the economy they can still provide beauty for everyone to enjoy.

Democrat Dogs?

“Is it not delightful to have friends come from afar?”” Confucius

“Since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. The key is to develop inner peace.” Dalai Lama

I was bouncing around You Tube the other day when I came across a song that I hadn’t heard before called “Tell My Father” being sung by John Barrowman. You can find it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bl2izLPgwv0&feature=related . I happen to be a fan of his and I have his Broadway CD and his Andrew Lloyd Weber one on order. I love musical theater and I love this man’s voice and the fact you can understand the lyrics when he sings. The thing that surprised me however was the fact that this song actually made me think of a woman when I heard it. I was thinking of my maternal Grandmother Una Mae Hughes. The connection was the Civil War.

I think my grandmother has to be one of the biggest characters I have ever met. She only had a third grade education. She married young and had ten children not all of who lived to be adults. She was headstrong, opinionated and loved to talk. My mother would talk about when grandmother and her sisters would get together and all three would talk at the same time each proclaiming it was her turn to talk.

I tried to keep in touch with Grandma when she was alive. I wrote her frequently and called her on the phone all though conversations were not the most accurate description of the phone calls. It was more like I got in “Hello Grandma” and then listened for the rest of the time. I loved to do stitchery and she had a space over her desk where she hung the various framed stitchery pieces that I had made her. I tended to go towards ones with flowers since she loved flowers. She was so proud of those and showed them off to everyone who came by.

One thing Grandma was so proud of was her Dad who fought in the Civil War as a Yankee. Grandma maintained a prejudice against the South and Johnny Rebel gray until the day she died. Her children paid extra to make sure she was buried in a blue casket. I think they were afraid that if they buried her in a gray one that she would come back and haunt them. Of course the history about the Civil War and Grandma’s version didn’t always mesh. She told someone after watching “The Blue and the Gray” that the rebel part was all right but the Yankee part was different because her daddy was there and he was an Admiral. Being from land locked Indiana that of course wasn’t true he was actually a Private in the Army but Grandma wasn’t one for letting facts get in the way of a good story.

Grandma was a life long Republican and anything that happened that she didn’t like was the Democrat’s fault. She complained once that the neighbor’s Democrat dog kept her awake with his barking. When asked how she knew the dog was a Democrat she replied, “it has a big mouth doesn’t it?” As in the Civil War she never let logic or facts get in the way. I don’t think she ever realized that her favorite son-in-law, my Dad, was a life long registered Democrat and I didn’t tell her I was one.

Grandma had her faults but she loved her grandchildren. She had mellowed considerably when we came along. She was funny and to this day she brings a smile to my face.

Computer Whoa There

“Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.” Oscar Wilde

It is not easy being a geek. It is even harder being a geek and female. What is a major headache is being the only geek in a household of “can you fix my computer” inhabitants. I know a great deal about computers but sometimes when I am stuck I go to my two brothers in Texas and California. I know how to hookup computers, install hardware, install software, and in general the techy things that make the beasts run. I remember talking to tech support once for a software issue and being told it was so nice to talk to someone who knew computers and could follow the instructions on fixing the problem. At home as well as at work I am the go to person before they call in the people who get paid for taking care of computers for a living. Me, I work for free.

I cannot count the number of times I have received phone calls from my Mom needing computer help. I remember a phone call I received a few years ago at work. I answered the phone and the first thing I heard was “help.” Recognizing my Mom’s voice my first response was “what is on your screen.” My late Dad called me at times too with computer questions. Since moving back home I have had to show my Mom numerous times how to use her programs. I have fixed her computer when she has accidentally hit something she shouldn’t. I mean who needs three shortcuts to the same word processing program, etc. on their screen? My brother’s middle name should be changed to “Sis can you look at my computer.”

My latest headache has been my oldest brother. His computer was dying and he finally bought a new one. Of course my advice to have our expert at work build it fell on deaf ears and he went with the local computer people who, in my humble opinion, if they had brains they would take them out and play with them. Not the brightest crayons in the box as far as I am concerned. It has been a major headache getting that new computer to work. The computer refused to talk to the monitor to start with. Then the computer refused to start period. Now the computer refuses to connect with the device that talks to the Internet. I suspect that it knows that it will be connected to the right wing sites that my brother loves.

So this geek is going into work early to start learning how we bill on our crap of a computer system. Then I get to go to our local Wal-Mart or Radio Shack and hope one of them has the black ink cartridges for Mom’s computer because she didn’t tell me she had two color cartridge spares and no black ones. Depending on what my brother finds out I’ll probably have to work on his computer as well and if he loses the Key number one more times I am going on E-bay and selling him to the highest bidder or any bidder for that mater. Maybe then I can get to my computer and try and get my art program to work. This problem I had to outsource to Texas since that brother uses the same program I do and the tech support at DAZ is not exactly up to par. Sigh. Sometimes I think I should have just stuck with that Etch-A-Sketch and abacus. Life would be simpler.

A Magician Named Merlin

“The creatures that inhabit this earth – be they human beings or animals – are here to contribute, each in its own particular way, to the beauty and prosperity of the world.” Dalai Lama

I have always had cats in my life. They have ranged from a huge orange-gold cat who was so arrogant that he thought he was King of the Universe to a pure white laid back cat who would make a typical Hoosier look hyper. One thing I have always known is that in animals you can learn a lot about yourself by your interactions with them. They are not “dumb” as many people think but have an intelligence that sometimes makes humans look like we should wear the mantel of dumb instead.

Merlin came into my life on a Mother’s Day. It was one of the only positive things that came out of a disastrous marriage. I had lost my Casper a few weeks earlier and my husband’s friend suggested that he get me a real cat to replace him. Merlin was four weeks old. The mother cat had abandoned the entire litter. He was a gray tabby with huge eyes. When I knew that I could adopt him he looked up at me with those huge eyes and let me know his name was Merlin. Of course the fact that shortly before I got him I had watched the Hallmark special “Merlin” with Sam Neil and the black on the cat and the green eyes did remind me of one of my favorite actors may have played a part in that..

In the first few months that I had him I had to get rid of fleas and ear mites. Then he came down with pneumonia and I almost lost him. I had told my husband I was worried about Merlin only to be snapped at and told that worrying was no use the cat would either make it or not. With tender care I managed to pull the kitten through. By that time Merlin was totally convinced I was his real mother and we bonded.

Merlin and I made it through a nasty divorce and a move from California to the Midwest. He is still the world’s biggest momma’s boy. He hates the Midwest thunderstorms and cuddles as close to me as he can. If I am downstairs and he wants me up with him he will come down and cry until I come upstairs with him. He sometimes will stand up on his back paws and try and push me towards the stairs.

A good part of Merlin’s skittishness comes from a week with my now ex when I had come back to see my parents. Sometime during that week this playful kitten became a skittish and scared cat. I don’t know what happened but I have had ten years of dealing with the consequences. I have learned a patience I didn’t know I had when I deal with one of his scared moods. I have learned a forgiveness of my ex because he is truly a sick man. I have learned hatred in oneself only hurts oneself.

Merlin and I get each other through thunderstorms which neither one of us likes. He cuddles next to me at night and purrs. He has shown me an unconditional love. He lowers my stress level with his love and loud purrs. He will sometimes reach up and pat me on the face. With Merlin I have found an unending source of compassion. I have learned that I can make a difference and I can heal hurts. I have learned how to share since at 17 ½ pounds this big cat takes up a good portion of our twin size bed. I have learned that animals can teach us how to be better human beings.

The Health Insurance Game

“The main purpose of life is to live rightly, think rightly, act rightly.” Mahatma Gandhi

“I believe all suffering is caused by ignorance.” Dalai Lama

I am in a position because of my job to have an insight into the workings of the health insurance industry. When you buy health insurance you expect it to be there when you need it the most. These days though you need to check very carefully before you sign up. You may think you are covered when you are not. Here are some of the things to look for based on what I have observed health companies refusing to pay for.

The number one “not paying for it” is preexisting. Do you have asthma, arthritis, cancer, heart conditions, or anything serious with your health that started before you changed insurance? Chances are real good your new insurance will call it preexisting and not pay for it. You may think I’ll go to the Emergency Room if I get bad surely they will pay for Emergency Room visits. Not necessarily. If they suspect your reason for the Emergency Room visit might be triggered by something in the past they will get the emergency room records and they will deny the whole visit.

The number two “not paying for it” is Emergency Room visits. There are some new policies that exclude Emergency Room visits. The insurance company again will check the emergency room records and if they suspect it is an accident where they can get someone else to pay for the liability they will. Auto accidents need to go to the auto insurance company first. So make sure yours is up to date and if you are in an accident caused by someone else that you have their auto insurance information. If your company sends you a form asking if this is an accident fill it out and get it back to them immediately.

The number three “not paying for it” is that’s excluded (i.e. anesthesiologists). You have finally gotten permission for the surgery you need check and make sure they pay for everything. Some insurance companies will exclude the anesthesiologists’ fees from things they pay. Before any procedure make sure you check with your insurance company and see that they are sneaking things in that should be paid for but they are going to try and weasel out of.

The number four “not paying for it” is actually having that baby. Okay your insurance company has paid the pregnancy all along and now oh boy here comes those contractions, there goes that water, and where is the Emergency Room? Surprise! Your insurance company does not classify having the baby as an Emergency. You aren’t covered for it. This is also a problem with some Medicaids so don’t think the States are going to help you there. Before that baby comes find out what needs to be done to make sure the delivery is paid for.

The number five “not paying for it” is we don’t cover that drug. The insurance companies want you to take the cheapest medicine possible. Having trouble sleeping well they will cover the Ambien which will let you get to sleep but doesn’t let you stay asleep but the Ambien CR that will let you sleep through the night forget it, it is too expensive. Are you having cancer treatments? The drug that may save your life is the drug most likely to be classified as “experimental” and not be covered.

The bottom line is this if your insurance will not pay the bill you are liable for it. Hospitals are struggling to stay open. The recession has hit them too. Read that big pamphlet before you sign on to an insurance company. Call their representatives and have a list of questions to ask. If you are looking for a supplemental insurance make sure it pays for what you really need. Ask for help. I go through all the insurance things for my Mom. If they can’t or won’t answer your question so that you can clearly understand be wary. If they want your money make them work for it and make sure they will pay what you need not what they feel like paying.

Our Little Town

“Concealing shortcomings while boasting virtues defines arrogance.” Miao-lo

As people struggle to make ends meet in this recession tempers are coming more and more into the forefront. We are a small factory based town and whether or not we have jobs depends of things totally out of our control. Chrysler and General Motors’ troubles have caused lay offs in our town. They can’t pay for the parts they want us to make and we can’t afford to make parts we can’t sell. So more jobs have been cut. The big Tractor making place has cut jobs. Our local hospital has cut jobs. Stores are closing

The Lion King has a song called “The Circle of Life” that shows how we are all interconnected. What causes problems for one person causes problems another person. With all the worries about ending the day employed and not becoming a victim of the pink slips decreed from above, it is no wonder that we are seeing a huge upswing in anger. Things have never felt so completely out of out hands.

I work at the local hospital and we are in a position where we have to turn away non-essential services for people who have huge debts with us. We are a hospital and we want to help everyone we can. We are writing off huge amounts of debt for charity care. We have a lady whose job it is to try and find help for people. The Federal and State Governments are making it harder to get people help from them. It is a struggle to keep the doors open.

I was listening to an old Simon and Garfunkle song last night with the lyrics “nothing but the dead and dying in my little town.” My little town in an example of what is going on in our country now with this recession. We have one grocery store and Wal-Mart. The other store had to close because of the economy. The small shopping centers they built to try and get businesses stand empty. No one can afford to move in. We are down to one hardware store because the other closed. The owners retired and since no one wanted to try and run a small business in this little town the owners just closed shop and moved away.

The one place we can shop is Wal-Mart and that leaves us at the mercy of their prices, their lack of quality goods, their attitude. Wal-Mart is in the process of “updating” their store, which basically means they are moving stuff all over the place and good luck trying to find anything.

What I am seeing a lot of in our little town is anger. The anger is directed at little things, which then escalate into a major blow up. One of my coworkers blew up the other day because of another coworker. The arrogant one is smart enough to make sure the boss isn’t around before she starts her little mind games. My friend was angry with herself for falling into the trap but fortunately only her friends were there and we wouldn’t let the boss know she was swearing about the other woman. We live in hopes that one day this witch will go into her routine just as the boss walks in the door from a meeting and she will be out the door. The boss is watching her now as she lost a good employee because of this woman but she needs to catch her in the act before she can do something.

It still leaves a question of what can we as individuals do to help diffuse the anger? So much is out of our control. What do we do? How can we help? Where do we turn to?

In my own life I just do what I can. I gave my friend a big hug and told her I was sorry she was upset and I understood her anger. My Mom is terrified of running out of money so I checked to see if we could save money on the phone. Our cable company provides our Internet and was more then happy to give us a good deal on a package for all three. It gives Mother a little more peace of mind knowing that we are saving somewhere. At Wal-Mart we help each other find things. We are each other’s sounding boards for the frustration we feel at the torn up store. What I am noticing most is that we are more willing to smile at each other and even strangers will say hello. In this time of struggle for all of us we are reaching out and connecting with each other as humans. I don’t have a lot of money for clothes and a lot of my wardrobe was given to me by friends or from sale racks but I try and wear brighter colors and unusual jewelry. The people I work with and people who come to the hospital like that I will make the effort to look good and it brightens their day when they see the pretty colors. I dress as much to give pleasure to others as I do for myself.

I think the best thing we can do is reach out and touch someone. In these hard times a hug and a smile and a kind word is what everyone needs to help them survive.

Happy Mother's Day

“If a person has never encountered love toward himself or herself from any quarter, it is a very sad thing. But if that person can meet even one person who will show unconditional love – simply acceptance and compassion – if he knows that he is an object of someone else’s affection and love, it is bound to have an impact, and this will be appreciated. Because there is a seed in himself, this act of love will start to catalyze or ripen that seed.” Dalai Lama

It should be a very quiet Mother’s Day. My Mom is still weak from the after effects of the heart attack she had the other day. Most likely she will spend most of the day in bed with her little cat close by. Mom scared us all including herself. Hopefully she will use a little better sense now and listen when I try and tell her to take it easy. I will be able to catch things up on the weekend she doesn’t need to do it all.

There is a lot of emphasis today on mothers. For those of us who were unable to have children it can be a bittersweet day. We honor our own mothers but at the same time our arms ache because there are no children of our own to hold. I have been luckier then most in this respect because I had a niece and goddaughter that I had helped to raise. I am also godmother to her three children.

One of the scariest things about being a mother is the knowledge that there are other lives that you can mess up if you don’t do it right. I was always aware that I was my niece’s role model. I am the first one she calls in case of problems. I am the one she calls to bounce ideas off of. I am the one she calls when she needs a break from kids and wants to talk to an adult.

Looking back today as a “Mom” I realize I tired to teach her many things. I tried to teach her my love of all things geek. Happily she is as geeky as I am. I exposed her to the wonderful world of science fiction conventions early in life. I made sure though that she started as I did working as a gopher. Just because I ran the convention it didn’t mean that I was going to put her in a position of authority until she learned the job. In the end I was able to put her with guests.

I tried to teach her that when life gives you lemons make lemonade. I tried to teach her that the glass isn’t half empty, it is half full and do something with it. I tried to teach her to use the talents she has to better herself and to make this a better world. She has taken the lesson and run with it. She has been one of the voices of homelessness in North Carolina. She has spoken to newspapers and crowds of people and to a politicians. To anyone who will listen she puts a human face on the suffering. She breaks down the stereotypes and shows what real poverty is. She is almost through with her Master’s degree in a field that will help her continue the fight.

I tried to teach her what true love is. I told her that you have to be able to love yourself in order to learn how to love others. I taught her that giving love to others in the most important thing you can do for yourself. Once you learn generosity towards others then you will start experiencing a peace within yourself that you only get from the knowledge that you are making this world a better place to be in. Yes you can make a difference, one person at a time.

My niece called early to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day. She has kept in touch to see how her grandmother is doing. She is every bit as much my daughter as she is my brother’s. I was the one who told her to let her heart love again after a disastrous first marriage. I was the one who happily spent the hours hand sewing trim onto a dress so that my daughter could be a “Princess Bride” on her wedding day.

So to all mothers everywhere Happy Mother’s Day. Even to those of us who never gave birth but who are spiritually mothers. The picture is my mother’s day gift to my Mom.

Being An Adult

“Each of us in our own way can try to spread compassion into people’s hearts.” Dalai Lama

When I was a child all I really wanted to be was a grown up. I couldn’t wait to be out on my own living my own life. Now of course I sometimes feel like one of Ashleigh Brilliant’s sayings, “It would be easier to play my role in life if I had a copy of the script.” Any more I feel like the scriptwriters are forgetting to give me the revisions. What am I suppose to be doing here?

I struggled back to work yesterday after having to come home the day before because the inner ear balance went nuts again and I was ready to pass out. I slept all day. If I hadn’t been so out of it I would of realized my Mom was not telling me something. I came home yesterday from work to find her in bed as white as a sheet. She had gone through a long spell of not being able to breathe. She wouldn’t tell me but I overheard her tell my brother that she thought she wasn’t going to make it. She didn’t call me at work because she knew I would have made her go to the hospital. I wouldn’t be at all surprised to find out that the next tests showed this was another heart attack.

Any more the child has become the mother. I find myself telling her what to do. I can pretty much ride herd on her when I am at home but when I’m at work there is nothing I can do. She is out raking up grass without wearing her mask. She mops a floor that doesn’t need mopping. I tell her to leave the upstairs alone and I’ll get it this weekend but no she feels she can do it. She is just fine. Death warmed over looks better then she does this morning. A sleepy cat looks more awake then I do because I kept waking up during the night hearing her cough and trying to ascertain whether I needed to be down there with her or whether she would get agitated. It is a fine line between taking care of her and overdoing it in her mind.

In the end I used Pixie as a guide. The cat stayed with Mom when she was real bad and wandered around upstairs to see me when Mom was just restless. Mom was up this morning to check and make sure Pixie hadn’t run out of the house when my brother went to work. I’m sure in a half hour she will be checking to make sure she didn’t try to go out when I go to work. Pixie keeps her going.

If I could go back to when I was a child I think I would settle back and enjoy it more and not want to be in such a hurry to grown up. Or at the very least knowing what I do now as an adult reversing the roles and taking care of a mother, I would appreciate the efforts my parents made in taking care of me more.
We really need more help and support as care givers and I certainly hope that in the health care reform coming up that someone realizes it. We can’t keep doing this alone.

All the Time in the World

“Later never exists.” Anonymous

When we are young we think that we have all the time in the world and we want all that we can get out of life. We want to do it all and we want to do it right now. Time stretches before us and we have plans and dreams to fill up that time. As we get older we think I don’t have to do that now, I have time. I can put this off until tomorrow. I don’t have to do this right now it will wait.

Life has a way though of reminding you that no you don’t have all the time in the world. On this day ten years ago a phone call came that changed my life forever. Dad had been out planting a bush and keeled over and was dead of a massive heart attack before he hit the ground. Suddenly all the things that he and I had talked about doing were no longer possible. We had run out of time.

Dad was passionate about genealogy and traced his family tree and Mom’s with enthusiasm. He told me once that I was the only one of the five children who shared his enthusiasm and we planned on my coming back out to Indiana so he could teach me what he had learned and where he was going with his studies. It didn’t happen. One month before my move back to the Midwest his heart gave out. I have a file cabinet full of papers and names and dates that I have no idea where they go and where they connect in Dad’s studies.

I was Dad’s only girl and I think more then anything else I amused him. With my temper and passion for drama and my love of performing and all things science fiction I was not your typical daughter. I played football and baseball with him.

I remember the sighs he heaved when I would tell him about picketing the Archbishop of Portland. He listened to my stories of my political activity throughout my college time. He shook his head and wrote long philosophical letters when I would ask for his opinion on the politics of campus. He read all the college newspapers that I sent home that I had worked on. He encouraged me and cautioned me at the same time. I remember his worry when I got involved in politics and trying to get a sane gun law passed. He was proud of me and scared that his reckless daughter would be hurt. I use to wonder what Dad really thought of the activism of my youth. He wasn’t always the best at letting you know his feelings. The fact that he relished telling my niece all about my college years and telling her with pride gave me my answer.

In the last few years I have gone back to the political activism of my youth. I realize now that I don’t have all the time in the world. My niece has gotten into the same sort of activism that I have because I was always her role model in life. I was hers as my Dad’s older sister Hazel was mine.

My mother has said as she watched the paramedics trying to revive my Dad that she knew he was gone. We don’t often see butterflies here but a butterfly landed on the bush my Dad had been planting. My Mom has said that she knew then that Dad was at peace. In these last ten years when I am feeling the most down I have seen Monarch butterflies and know the peace Mom talked about.

Dad died ten years ago today and as much as I miss him I am comforted by the fact that on this morning ten years ago he had an email from me letting him know I loved him. He always read his email first thing in the morning. I had also spoken to him the day before. He died knowing he was loved. We didn’t have all the time together that we hoped for but we made the time we had together count.
We don’t have all the time in the world. I learned that ten years ago today. Each of us in our own way needs to do what we can to help make this world a better place and we need to do it now. We also need to make sure we connect now with family and friends and let them know we love them. Time is precious and we need to use it well.

Can You See What I Am Saying?

“A work of art is the unique result of a unique temperament.” Oscar Wilde

One of my favorite movies is “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” by Steven Spielberg. I was fascinated by the struggles that they had in trying to figure out how to communicate with the aliens. On e of the biggest problems we face on this fragile little planet of ours is our inability to communicate with each other. If we can’t communicate with our own species how are we going to communicate with an alien species? In the movie Spielberg used color, tones, and mathematics for man to communicate with the aliens. To communicate to the humans where the humans needed to go however is where art came in. The chosen people were sculpting out of mash potatoes, drawing in charcoal, using any medium they could find in order to see where it was they needed to be in order to meet the aliens. As an artist that is what resonated with me.

I have studied art and acting and music. It is a major part of my life. It isn’t something that I can really support myself with at this time but it is something that I can share and sometimes sell to others. In time I may be able to rely of the art to bring in some needed income but at the present time I have to be practical. I am using this time where I’m taking care of my mother to learn and adapt to new techniques in computer graphics. If you want to be a good artist you have to be willing to put the time in to learn how to do your art. When arthritis set into my hands too deeply to do the painstaking pen and ink etching that I use to do I learned how to use a mouse to create computer art.

In times of budget crisis in the schools the first thing that gets cut is the arts. I know many people believe artists are dreamers, and we are, but we also are the ones that this world may need to depend on to communicate with others. I am convinced that it is our ability to visualize and commit those visions to a medium where others can see what we see that will make the difference when it comes to communicating with other species.

My inspiration when I do art comes from many sources. I was reading National Geographic about the Cassini Mission to Saturn. I was fascinated by the moon Enceladus. I was frustrated however by the fact that we couldn’t land on that moon and see the view from the surface. The information I need to visualize the view from the surface was there for me to use. Based on what the scientists say I believe this is what it would look like. It is this ability that artists have to visualize from other sources be they written word, spoken comment, sounds, smells, a science report, whatever and translate this into something that can be seen by others that we will be able to contribute to vital communication between species.

I know that we are not alone. Mankind isn’t all there is in this vast universe of ours. As an artist I want to be able to use what talent I have to try and communicate with others. We have all heard that a picture is worth a thousand words. We need to keep the arts flourishing in our schools and in our lives. We dreamers who are called artists have a job to do. We are going to be needed to help communicate mankind’s hopes and dreams to others.

The Great Escape

“There is always a piece of fortune in misfortunes.” Japanese proverb

“When you engage in fulfilling the needs of others, your own needs are fulfilled as a by-product.” Dalai Lama

“I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his abilities.” Oscar Wilde

As an artist I am very aware of colors. I love the juxtaposition of bright pink blossoms against a blue sky. I love the pinks and gold of sunset since being a strictly night owl the chance of me seeing a sunrise is not too good most days although I have on occasions not been to bed yet when the sun rises. I love mountains with the white snow above the conifers of dark green. My personal favorite of colors are probably the reds and purples.

As much as I love the color purple it doesn’t really look too good on me at the moment. Of course the purple is on the ankle that with a slip on a pretty blue throw rug that sent said ankle on a collision course with the edge of the rocking runner on a hardwood old fashioned rocking chair. Ouch! Limp! Pain! And $&*(*^&%$#^#$ while we are at it.

The color for today is gray however as it is going to continue to rain all week. I still need to limp out to our neighborhood Wal-Mart who forgot the main rule of “if it isn’t broke don’t fix it.” Their “new and improved” layout, which changes from weekend to weekend as they try and renovate a store piecemeal, is driving all of us nuts. It has brought an increase in customer interaction though as we all stand there staring trying to find where they put stuff this week. We help each other out as the sales clerks are even more confused then we are.

It is a good day though to finally get over to our library. Usually my first stop in a new town I have never been to ours. I think that the real reason I had avoided it was that it was one of Dad’s favorite places to be and he was well know there. Today, however, I am going to make that connection. I need to get some more books for Mom and I to read. My Mom has taken to reading a lot of mysteries since that along with science fiction is what I mainly read for enjoyment. Science fiction/fantasy is something she doesn’t really get. Her look of “okay” when I tried to explain why my niece sent me an action doll of Colonel John Shepherd from “Stargate Atlantis” for Christmas was precious. It still brings a smile to my face.

Today I am going to see what this small town library has in the way of mysteries. I’m hoping for a good selection of Agatha Christie for my Mom since Mom doesn’t like lots of blood, gore, sex, in her reading. She is a “cozy” mystery reader. She likes some of the “cooking” mysteries like Diane Mott Davidson. I enjoy them because I am a chef and love to create recipes myself. I have my own recipe section in my website because of requests for the recipes. (http://artbymichelewilson.com/recipes.htm)

I am fascinated by mysteries that take place in other areas of the world. I just discovered Alexander McCall Smith’s Prescious Ramotswe whose stories take place in Botswana, Africa. If you have never read Robert Van Gulik’s “Judge Dee” mysteries set in ancient China you must give them a try. I introduced my Dad to those and he loved them. They are a fascinating look at a world we would ordinarily never see. Oddly enough when I actually read them Earl Derr Biggers “Charlie Chan” books were not what I expected. His detective was not the buffoon of the movies but extremely intelligent. It was a case of my over coming a dislike of the Hollywood mentality to go to the original source and being surprised.

I have traveled to Hong Kong with William Marshall. If you want to combine this with a bit of science fiction don’t miss his book “Sci-Fi” it is a fun, fun read. Go to the Australian outback with Arthur Upfield’s wonderful half aboriginal detective Napoleon Bonaparte. Visit medieval England/Wales with Ellis Peters Brother Cadfael. Elizabeth Peters will take you to Egypt along with Amelia Peabody and family as they find all sorts of mayhem in their archeological pursuits.
Today with a throbbing ankle and gloomy weather I am planning my great escape. I’ll stock up on my favorite cherry cokes and of course chocolates and I’m out of here. Of course if you really need me Mom, providing I haven’t got you ensconced in the easy chair escaping yourself, I’ll be curled up on the bed with Merlin fast asleep on my lap. So where are you going today?

An Ordinary Man is a Hero

“There are three marks of a superior man: being virtuous, he is free from anxiety; being wise, he is free from perplexity; being brave, he is free from fear.” Confucius

“If you shift your focus from oneself to others, and think more about others’ well-being and welfare, it has an immediate liberating effect.” Dalai Lama

May 1st brings a lot of different celebrations going on in different parts of the world. We are starting to work our way into spring proper. April showers are suppose to have tempted the May flowers however the system is still a bit on the soggy side and not all the flowers have received the wake up call. For me May 1st is now a day to celebrate a birthday in this family. Kevin joined our family a couple of years ago and never has a person been so welcomed and loved.

To go back into time first though a few years ago found my niece in an abusive marriage with her self esteem in shreds, a pathological liar for a husband, being moved all over the United States as he pursued jobs and other methods of getting a quick buck. Finally he dumped her with three children aged two, four, and six with 1 suitcase of clothes for the four of them and $15.00 and no home, no place to live, no job, nothing to help her and their children survive.

She met Kevin through Match.com. She was lonely. He was the pastor of a small Presbyterian Church in North Carolina and he was also looking for a soul mate. This soft-spoken Southerner with a degree from Wake Forest and a degree from Yale took on the responsibility of a ready-made family. He was starting life with a dreamy daughter getting ready to go into her teen years, an older son with Asperger’s, and a younger son with ADHD. He had a wife who was trying to survive and care for her children and still speak out for the plight of the homeless.

It will be three years next month that I was down their putting the finishing touches on a “Princess Bride” wedding dress on my niece. Kevin is those three short years has brought a stability to my niece and his children’s lives. He is a gentle and sweet man. He gives very liberal and enlightening and thought provoking sermons. My niece put us on his list to mail the sermons to. He has supported Berni who is now finishing up a Master’s Thesis and will go into the field of homeless advocacy.

So happy birthday Kevin. It is great to have a wonderful man in my niece’s life. Thank you for caring for her children and making them your own. It is nice to have someone in the family who loves science fiction, who basis his email name on Superman, and who wanted last year’s Halloween theme to be Doctor Who. It was worth six months of knitting a genuine replica of the scarf for you guys.