Nightmare Redeaux

I was looking through one of my folders on my  computer the other evening when I came across an old email from a friend that dated back to when I was married. Reading that was like stepping back in time to find myself in a nightmare that I thought I would never wake up from. I was surprised at how quickly that night came back to me.

My ex-husband went through my computer and found a letter I had written to my parents. He proceeded to wake me up and berate me for criticizing him. He told me I was not allowed to say anything about him to my parents or anyone else without clearing it with him first. This occurred on the same day that I learned that a friend of 25 years was suffering from leukemia. My husband didn't give me one word of concern for my friend. He only snapped that "I obviously didn't know how much he was suffering."

This was the man who during our marriage had been warned by a marriage counselor to stop calling my Dad and trying to turn him against me. He was warned by a priest to stop threatening to call the police on me because "I scared him." This man was over 350 pounds and 6'2" to my 108 pounds and 5'1". I was warned by a psychologist to be careful because he would try and kill me if I left him. I had to move across the country to even feel half way safe.

My friend's email was the first time a person tried to warn me that I was in an abusive marriage. Her being willing to take the chance was the reason that I sought professional help. My doctor told me that there was nothing wrong with me except the fact that I was in an abusive marriage. It started me on the road to freedom.

I would urge everyone to read what the late Ann Landers said about domestic abuse. This article may save your life or the life of someone you care about. http://rf-web.tamu.edu/security/secguide/Eap/Abuse.htm If you see these signs in either your life or the life of someone you care about please do something about it. My friend alerted me to a fact I was afraid to face. Her courage gave me courage to change my life and get away. It was the single most frightening thing I have ever done in my life. If I can do it so can someone else in the same situation and if I can help please let me know.