A Little of This, A Little of That

"To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest." Mahatma Gandhi

"No man can purify another man." Buddha

As the effects of the illness linger I find myself fighting depression. I'm tired of dragging myself to a stressful job and then having no energy at home to do anything other then sleep. I want my energy back! My voice is giving out again which is what started the whole problem the first time.

One of the people at work noticed that my temper is starting to fray and we talked for about an half hour. She wants to see what she can do to help out now. I think it is finally dawning on people that I can only be pushed so far and that they are going to need to do something about the insanity.

I'm still mentally struggling with what I want to do and have felt very out of sorts for weeks now. I know the continued illness is having a detrimental effect on my emotional well being and I probably will have to go back on antidepressants until I recover my health completely. I don't like feeling blue and on the edge of tears all the time. I need to get hold of the depression before it takes hold of me.

The mama cat and kittens bolstered my mood this morning. I need to get hold of someone so that we can officially get the two we are keeping as indoor cats and one of the kittens a good home with a friend and mama and the other kitten a good home also.

For the next few weeks though I'm going to need to be selfish and think about myself. I need to get well and feel like I can do something again. I'm not any use to others at the moment. I have spent my whole life taking care of others and at the moment I need to take care of me. Once I have my physical and emotional life back in balance I can then focus on others. Right now Mom, myself and the cats are it. My focus, my life.

The picture is called "Singing the Blues."