Quiet Morning

I'm in a lot calmer mood today then I was yesterday. Part of the Aries temperament I guess, we blow up but get over it quickly.

We had quite a storm last night and more rain coming in. I worry about the family in California though as they are getting socked by storms. This doesn't promise to be a real good winter for anybody. I need to get out to the store before storm number two hits here. I can hear mother so I'll wait until she has her breakfast and has a chance to make her shopping list out so that I can do her shopping too. She hates to shop much to the amazement of her youngest great-grandson. When he was here he Zack asked her "You don't like to shop grandmother, not even for toys?" That still cracks her up.

If you look for it life can be full of laughter. I can never understand people who are so sour that they can't see the humor around them. A smile and a laugh a day is good for a person. I get amusement out of my cat Merlin. I gave him a kitty stocking for Christmas. He ignored all of the normal looking toys and zeroed in on the goofy toy I call "pink fuzzy face." I can tell already that 2006 will be the year I spend half of my time on my hands and knees looking under beds, couches, desks, chests, etc. trying to find where he batted it. If  I don't he goes all pitiful on me and whines. He is a character that cat and he keeps Mom chuckling too. That alone makes it worthwhile to fight him for half of the bed every night. My little fuzzball grew up to be 15 1/2 pounds and when he stands on his hind feet he can wrap his front paws around my waist.

Fed Up

I finally had enough on my favorite newsgroup and took the two troublemakers to task. I had suggested the two apologize to each other and be done with it. I should have saved the effort. Mr. foul mouth refuses and deliberately misconstrues what I said as asking them to be friends. I don't care if they are friends or enemies. I just want my newsgroup back to being civil and discussing "The Prisoner" that's all. They are driving people away in droves.

I have little tolerance for hypocrisy. At least one of the people involved admits his part in the mess and that he loses his temper too easily. The other pretends he is so moral and upright but he shows no decency at all. He is a self centered egotist who will never admit he could be wrong.

I am tired of the hatred and told them so. I told them that they are damaging themselves. I told them if I could forgive my ex-husband, if Pope John Paul II could forgive the man who tried to kill him, and if Cardinal Bernadine could forgive the man who falsely accused him of abuse then they could forgive each other. Enough is enough and I’ve had more then enough.

As I expected he deliberately misconstrued what I said again. Well he is the one who will have to answer for his hatred and bitterness. There is a price to pay for the ill we do to others either in this world or the next.

I originally did this picture as a protest to a troll but it fits my mood as to these two's postings. Pure garbage.

Try A Little Kindness

I wish I had more patience. Sometimes I really get frustrated with life in general and certain people in particular. People have a tendency to frown however if you walk up to someone and smack them across the head and say "now that I’ve got your attention." Besides it is hard on the hand.

Some people prefer to hold onto grudges and refuse to admit that they had any part in problems that exist because of them. I’m about to walk away from one of my favorite newsgroups because two people are constantly sniping at each other. I would love to smack them both but they are in England and I am here in the States. They make life more miserable then the trolls who at least have the grace to be mildly entertaining. But one refuses to let go of a grudge and the other is an egotistical s.o.b. who refuses to admit he was wrong. If neither one of them ever showed up again in the newsgroup no one would miss them. They are both immature trouble makers. They prove that attaining the age of adulthood is no guarantee that maturity came with the years.

I find as my mother’s health declines that my patience with idiots is getting shorter. I can’t take rudeness and stupidity the way I use to be able to. I don’t know if there is a saint of patience but I could sure use him or her right now. With life being so short why mess it up with hatred and petty jealousy. My colleague at work the other day couldn’t figure out why I was nice to a whining old man. How about because everyone else gets curt with him and he deserves a smile once in a while. They focus on the fact that he is a pest when kindness proved yesterday to be a better solution. He has problems too and they keep harping to him without getting to the core of the problem. All they needed to do was try a little kindness. I had him smiling as he left. No one else in the office has ever done that.

Why is courtesy and decency so hard for some people to manage? Remember growing up that the magic words were please and thank you? Do people really think that just because they are an adult that they don’t have to practice courtesy any more?

There are just so many sourpusses any more. Hey guys the muscles you use for a frown work in reverse to give a smile. Try it. You may learn to like it. Hey it got our grouchiest patient to smile back. I know it works. Besides the world would be a lot better place if people would be nicer to each other.

The picture is called "Planet Fall" because I need a little serenity in my life right now.

Resolutions

Don't you sometimes wish instead of making resolutions for yourself you could make them for others? There are some people I would dearly love to make resolutions for.

For the two people on my newsgroup, you are both in the wrong so shut up already and leave the rest of us in peace. I am really tired of the fighting and sniping. Let the grudge go life is too short. For the trolls that plague the group go away and stay away.

For my soon to be ex sister-in-law stop listening to your wacko roommate and settle the divorce for heaven's sake. You are the one who wanted it. Oh and while you are at it stop hurting my Mom. Would it have killed you to send the woman a Christmas card? She remembered you and she has done so much for you over the years.

For my oldest brother get your head out of the clouds. I need help with mother and shove the ego and try and realize that when I say something about Mom it is because I have checked with her and know what she wants. Sisters are capable of being right too.

For our Government hey guys the law is supposed to be upheld by you also. It is not all right to secretly tap into citizens without going through the courts to get a wiretap order. And oh yes how come it is shameful to let the people know the government is secretly tapping them but it is all right for you to blow a woman's cover and endanger her and her family? Ethics should be required by all government officials.

I would make some resolutions for Merlin but a cat doesn't care now does he?

The picture is called Castles Made of Sand which pretty much sums up what chance these resolutions have of being kept.

Geeks R Us

If there isn’t an organization called Geeks R Us then there should be. My younger brother Eric was here for Christmas and he is the one with whom I discuss computers and Star Wars. He is the other graphic artist in the family and we both use the same programs to do our art. As he stated this weekend "I’m a geek and proud of it." That makes two of us.

Too many people think that geeks are these weird people who can discuss the minutia of Star Wars, the Lord of the Rings, Star Trek, etc. While that is true, and Eric and I did a pretty could job of figuring out the continuity errors in Star Wars on the way to the airport, there is more to being a geek then that. Geeks are the ones with the curiosity to figure out how things work and how to make them better. If a geek named Bill Gates hadn’t come along most of the people on computers now wouldn’t be. If a geek named Bono hadn’t come along then $40 billion dollars in debt to the world’s poorest countries would still be their burden.

Geeks are the number crunchers and scientists of the world. Geeks are the reason we have put a man in space and on the moon. Geeks are exploring Mars. Rover's parents? Geeks from NASA/JPL. Geeks are the scientists trying to figure out how to cure cancer. Geeks are the people who think outside the box and make the discoveries that make our lives more livable.

Aren’t geeks those people in costume at science fiction conventions? Of course we are. A lot of effort goes into those costumes and it is really an art form. It is how we relax. It is fun. Aren’t geeks those people who can tell you how the Enterprise worked and what the elves had for breakfast? Well of course we are but again it is our way of relaxing.

I think geeks are probably the most misunderstood people around. Geeks make life better for everyone but the mundanes just don’t understand us. That’s okay though because we understand each other. From someone who scored 75% (ultimate geek with a note attached saying "I would have written this in Vulcan but you would have probably corrected my grammar") on the Geek Test I can proudly say as my brother does "I’m a Geek."

The Day After

Today is the day after Christmas. It is a day of introspection. The wrapping paper has all been gathered up and last night’s huge meal is sitting as today’s leftovers in the fridge. Our Christmas was nice but it was one of the days that depresses Mom the most. Dad was always like a kid at Christmas time. Christmas and Father’s Day were the days he always looked forward to because he knew he would talk to all five of his children and his only grandchild. Mom misses Dad always but Christmas is one of the hardest days for her. It didn’t help that she was sick again.

While yesterday was a wonderful day for many it was a hard day for many other people. Many of the people that were caught in the devastating Hurricanes Katrina and Rita are still suffering. The victims of the tsunami a year ago are still suffering. People who have lost loved ones are still hurting because someone they loved wasn’t there with them to celebrate yesterday.

One of the hardest things to learn is that you can’t take the pain away from someone else although you can be there to give them love. I know Mom will never stop missing Dad. I try to make sure she always knows that I love her but it won’t fill the empty space inside of her where Dad was.

It doesn’t mean that we should stop trying to help. Money can rebuild a home. Food can stop hunger. Medicine can make the ill well. There are plenty of things that we can do to make life better for someone else. Now is the time to remember those that need our help the most. It is the time after all the big pushes for charity and the time that people have done their "Christmas charity bit." They won’t think again about others until the next natural disaster. Hunger, homelessness, and illness won’t go away just because Christmas is over. The need to help others is always 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 365 days a year.

On of the simplest things we can do is really listen when someone needs to talk. It this day of emails and blogs and information overload sometimes people forget how to communicate. There are people hurting that it would help if they could just talk to someone. I do that for my mother. Mother wants to talk about Dad sometimes. She doesn’t want people to tip toe around not talking about Dad because they are afraid it will hurt her. She needs someone to listen. It something that all of us can do. Listen.

 

Merry Christmas

We have a misty morning but may get some snow later in the day. It will still be a beautiful day. My Mom is up and that is the sound I always strain to hear in the morning. With her very bad heart I always listen carefully for the sounds of her stirring before I can really start my day right. The older brother is 'hogging' the bathroom as usual. It cracks me up that I’m the only girl in the family but it takes my brother twice as long to get ready as it does me. My younger brother isn't stirring yet but he will soon smell the coffee I made and be up. He was as "giddy as a school boy" last night. He is in the throes of a very bitter divorce and is really hurting because of it. He has found a lady that eases his heart and he got the nerve to tell Mom about her last night only to find out that Mom really does understand. Last night I talked to my niece and her children as they opened the presents that I sent them. Their tradition is to open one gift on Christmas Eve. I also got a chance to talk a bit the man she is marrying in June. He is a Presbyterian minister and one of the nicest people you could ever meet. After the heartbreak of being dumped by her husband with three children under the age of six and fifteen dollars she has made something of her life and found a truly good man, who loves her and the children, to spend the rest of her life with. Yes life is good.

As we celebrate the birth of a baby in the manager so long ago I hope that we can learn the peace and love that he brought to the world. That is what Christmas is about. My prayer on this day is that everyone, for this one day, lets go of the anger in their hearts and any hatred they feel towards their fellow man. Try it today. You will find if you can do it today that it will be easier to do tomorrow and in the following days. Give your heart the greatest gift of all. Give your heart the peace and love of that baby boy. It will be the best present you have ever received.

I create a Christmas picture for my cards every year. This one is called "All Creatures Great and Small." It is from the poem by Cecil Francis Alexander.

All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful,
The Lord God made them all.

 

What's Going On?

In the small town where I live there was a recent brouhaha when the city council tried to be politically correct and rename the Christmas break, winter break and the Good Friday break, spring break. From the screams of outrage you would have thought they cancelled Christmas, closed all the churches, and sold all the children into slavery. I could not believe some of the reactions. Some of the council members received death threats. A special town meeting forced a change and the old names were restored. What was the cost? I think one of the victims was the reputation of Christianity. How can anyone call themselves a Christian and still threaten to kill someone because they voted to call something a winter break?

I have a real problem with people calling themselves Christian when their actions are totally contrary to Christ's teachings. Do they really think Christ cares what you call a holiday? Don't these people think he cares more about what is in our hearts? Have they heard of something called "The Ten Commandments" which quite clearly states "Though Shall Not Kill?"

I think too many people are concerned with externals and not enough about reality. It is more important to take care of our fellow human beings then whether something is displayed. When the Constitution was made one of the things that was put in there was the separation of church and state. That quite clearly means that there is no official religion established for the United States Government. It means that all men have the right to worship or not worship God however they see him or her.

One of the complaints I heard about the city council’s decision was "what about the rights of the majority?" Reality shows that if you take all the Christians in the world and then add up all the other religions and those who do not believe Christians are NOT a majority. Others have the right to worship according to their beliefs too. It is something that the Fundamentalist Christians fail to realize. They are in the minority and I for one am tired of them tramping all over my rights as a Catholic and the rights of other people to worship as we choose.

I had an insight once during an art class I took when we were drawing from a live model. The model was in the center on a platform and the art easels were in a circle around her. Every drawing was different in spite of them being of the same person because we were looking at her from a different angle. I believe God and religion are the same way. God is so vastly complex that no one religion can understand the totality of him/her. Each religion is looking at a different aspect or angle of God. It means no one religion is right because they are only seeing one portion of the totality that makes up the entity we call God.

From a practical standpoint it means that there is a place for nativity sets but not on government lands because the government is for everyone no matter what religion. As long as the government does not prohibit displays on private land then we have no right to complain. Put up the biggest nativity set you can find. Put up a menorah. Put up whatever symbol of your religion you want and celebrate. If a break encompasses a time period of more then one religion call it winter break. Call it Christmas Hanukkah Kwanzaa Winter Solstice break. The important thing is hold in your heart and practice that we are supposed to be on this earth to help and love our fellow man. We are not here to threaten to kill someone who uses a different name than Christmas for a break. God has to be ashamed of the behavior of some of his creatures. We are very lucky he/she is a loving God.

The picture is called "The Star."

Getting There

I got the last two gifts wrapped last night. At the last moment I decided to get another gift for mother. She had wanted a new nightgown and sheets so I decided to get her a really pretty set with pink roses on them and a pink nightgown with roses to go with them. Mom likes practical gifts. I also have a couple of other gifts for her including an Agatha Christie book from the cat that he paid for with my debit card.

I am picking my brother Eric up at the airport tonight. Gives me a reason to get "Revenge of the Sith" out. Geek time. The tree still isn't up but with Eric coming he can help Mike get it down and I can have it up tomorrow. I want some pictures of Mom and two of her sons by a tree this year. This is the first year since before Dad died that Mom agreed to have the tree up.

I got a kitty stocking for Merlin although he probably only deserves a lump of coal. He has gotten extremely spoiled since we moved here a year ago. I swear if Mom had spoiled us the way she does my cat we would have ended up as juvenile delinquents. ;-)

I want this Christmas to be special for Mom since I really don't know how many more Christmases she has left. She is down sick with another sinus infection. She has been sick so often this year. I really worry about her since she is so skinny and frail and insists on working full time. I'm hoping to convince her to quit her job or at least go part time.

I've learned to take each day one at a time and try to make each day as happy for her as I can. Merlin keeps her amused so I can put up with his being so spoiled by her. The most important thing is for her to know each and every day that she is loved.

The picture is called "The Star and the Moon."

Frustration

My boss and I talked today. She can tell I'm frustrated. She also wanted some advice on how to get through to my hard headed brother who also works for her and get him to listen to her for a change. She picked up on the fact that one of the main sources of my frustration is the responsibility for caring for my Mom and my brother and the possibility that another one of my brothers is talking about moving out here. She wondered why I didn’t get my own apartment where I could still be near Mom but have some space of my own. Originally that was what I planned on doing but now it would upset Mom too much if I were to move and take my cat with me. She has gotten so used to having me around and with her health I worry about not being close in case her heart goes ballistic. She has come to depend on me. It is a pain to be the responsible one sometimes.

Still my boss is correct and I am frustrated with trying to deal with Mom’s health and a brother whom I love but who is highly irresponsible. He has a good heart but he just doesn’t think and I find I’m getting more and more frustrated with him. I cringe at the idea of another brother moving in since he is even more irresponsible then the oldest brother and I don’t feel like taking care of someone who through his own negligence has let his diabetes get out of control. I hope that doesn’t make me sound heartless but right now I’ve got too much on my plate. Another person to look after would be too much of a strain on my Mom and I know Mom she would baby him as much as she does my oldest brother. Both brothers need something called maturity and to stop expecting Mom to bail them out of the messes they get themselves into.

As frustrated as I am I know that realistically I need to stay here with Mom. Someone needs to take care of her. I’m sure my mood is down in part because of the fact that the injured ankle is still as bad as it was two weeks ago when I first hurt it. If I wasn’t in constant pain I’m sure I’d be in a better mood.

I hope that the talk my boss had with my brother shook him up enough to straighten him up at work. He has to remember that she is the boss and it is her way or the highway. If he settles down then that will be a big load off my mind. I am going to talk to my younger brother and just let him know moving out here is not feasible. After the first of the year I think I will take some time to set up an internet business and start selling my art there. I use to  sell my art at science fiction conventions in California but out here in the farmland of Indiana there just isn’t the sci-fi community that I’m used to so I will have to go another route. Maybe that will be what is needed to make me feel less frustrated.

The picture is called "By Dawn's Early Light."

Forgiveness

On Sunday we celebrate the anniversary of a baby’s birth. This child would grow up to meet a terrible death but in doing so he forgave those who persecuted him and put him to death. Forgiveness. That is a very difficult concept for many humans.

The dictionary defines forgive as to excuse for a fault or offense, pardon; to renounce anger or resentment against. The first part is not that hard to do but man that second part is tough!

An incident occurred in one of my newsgroup that got me thinking about the whole issue of forgiveness. A troll who has plagued one of my favorite groups for three years decided to mount a particularly viscous personal attack on me. I went straight to his ISP and demanded action because I was not going to tolerate his slandering me in public. Was I angry? You bet I was. I was furious. His ISP shut him down and the trolls response was to found yet another ID and issue me an apology. This brings up a dilemma, do I forgive him when I know that the apology is insincere? He has done this apology bit many times before. Do I refuse to forgive him because I know it is false?

Looking at the whole concept of forgiveness I decided to see if I really do forgive people who have wronged me. The answer is yes I forgive but I don’t forget. I have mentioned an abusive ex-husband before. To give you just one incident of what life was like with him I woke up at 1:00 AM in the throes of a severe asthma attack. It took him 20 minutes to call an ambulance and get me medical help. By the time the medics got there I was on the verge of choking to death. Do I forgive him? Yes because he is mentally ill, an illness he hid from me before we married. Do I renounce the anger and resentment? Actually I find I do. I will always remember his treatment of me but it serves to make me more cautious in my relationships. I also know to call the police if he tries to come near me.

A jealous coworker forced me out of a job I loved. Do I forgive her? Yes because she is a very unhappy person. Her first position of authority and she alienated every member of her team and lied and falsified records to get rid of those she hated. If it hadn’t been for her though I wouldn’t be here taking care of my mother who needs me. She held on to me for the longest time last night when she hugged me.

The problem with anger and hatred is that it only affects one person, yourself. To let anger and hatred fester inside yourself is harming you. The person who wronged you is not affected in any way. Why harm yourself?

I guess I do need to forgive the troll. Someone who spends three years of their life trolling a newsgroup he knows nothing about has to be a very pathetic individual.

To err is human to forgive is divine. We have heard that many times before. We can learn from the Christ Child to forgive. We can learn from the bad that others do unto us but we can let go of the anger and resentment. It brings a sense of peace to us inside. Hatred only hurts the hater not the hated. Why harm ourselves with an unproductive emotion?

Musings on a Winter Morn

We are down to the final stretch in being ready for Christmas. I have two presents to print and wrap still but I'm ahead of all other years. I can print one tonight and since the other one won't get delivered to my Aunt until after Christmas I can safely wait. I need to print a calendar for myself so I know when all the wacky holidays are next year. Procrastinating big brother is supposed to get the tree and ornaments out for me today so that I may set the tree up tonight. He is also supposed to go to the Post Office and mail the packages to family and friends. After all I wrapped everything and boxed them up it is the least he can do.

It should be a quiet week at work since they don't want us calling and bugging people for money during Christmas week so maybe I can get some of the pile of paperwork done. We have our gift exchange at work tomorrow. I need to make the pasta salad tonight.

There is something to be said for last minute however. I came up with the salad everyone raves about at 10:30 one evening when I realized that the stores were closed and I needed a salad for a picnic the next day. So for those of you needing to make a dish to bring try this one. I know from experience that it will bring rave reviews.

I'm Making This up as I Go Along Pasta Salad

Recipe By     :Michele Wilson
Serving Size  : 8     Preparation Time :0:25
Categories    : Salads

Amount  Measure       Ingredient -- Preparation Method
--------     ------------       --------------------------------
8             ounces         macaroni -- cooked and drained
4              whole          hard-boiled eggs -- chopped
4              whole          sweet pickles -- chopped
2             ounces         pimiento -- diced
4             ounces         black olives -- sliced
1             medium        sweet onion -- diced fine
3             tablespoons  balsamic vinegar
1            cup                  low-fat mayonnaise
1/2         teaspoon       seasoned salt
1/2         teaspoon       seasoned pepper
1            tablespoon     salad herbs
1            tablespoon     Dijon mustard
1/4         teaspoon        paprika

Cook macaroni according to package instructions; drain. Place in large bowl along with eggs, pickles, olives, pimentos, and onion. 

In a small bowl mix the vinegar, mayonnaise, salt, pepper, salad herbs, paprika, and mustard. Pour over macaroni mixture and mix thoroughly.  Chill for at least an hour.

Description:
  "The result of realizing at 10:30 P.M. that I need a salad for a picnic the next day. Using what I had in the pantry and refrigerator I came up with this salad."
Source:
  "Healthy Food That Tastes So Good!"
Copyright:
  "Michele Wilson © 1998"
Start to Finish Time:
  "1:30"
                                    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Per Serving (excluding unknown items): 265 Calories; 13g Fat (43.4% calories from fat); 7g Protein; 30g Carbohydrate; 2g Dietary Fiber; 116mg Cholesterol; 526mg Sodium.  Exchanges: 1 1/2 Grain(Starch); 1/2 Lean Meat; 1/2 Vegetable; 0 Fruit; 2 Fat; 1/2 Other Carbohydrates.

 

Tis the Season

Time magazine has named Bill and Melinda Gates and Bono as their "Persons of the Year." I think that it is a brilliant choice. You frequently hear the saying "money can't buy happiness" but it can buy something more important. It can buy a better life or even a chance to have a life for someone who wouldn't have a chance if someone with money didn't give them the chance by using that money to help others.

This is the time of year that you see the Salvation Army with their bells and buckets collecting donations. It is the time of year that all charities have their big push to urge everyone to remember those who are less fortunate then themselves. It is the season of giving.

As important as it is to remember those less fortunate then ourselves during this Christmas Season it also brings to mind why just now? Charities push now because it is the Christmas Season but the need for help is all year round. This has been a year of disasters and many people still need our help. Not all of us have the type of money and prestige that Bill, Melinda, and Bono have but we can still do our parts. This is the time of year that warm clothes and food are needed and our local Goodwill or Food Kitchen can always use an extra hand.

Tis the Season to think of others. That is the true meaning of Christmas. Thanks Time for honoring three people that try to do their part in making this a better world.

 

Lemonade

My mother is fond of saying that when life hands you lemons make lemonade. I have always tried to do that. When things have happened in my life that are difficult for me to deal with I always try to step back and see what I can do to remedy the situation or at least learn something from it. I learned from a bad marriage that I will be more careful to make sure that if I marry again it will be to a person that is right for me. Sympathy for the devil does not a happy marriage make. I learned from my Dad's death that I was a lot stronger then I ever dreamed I could be. I learned that when a job I loved was taken from me because of jealousy that I could get another job and still help people.

I have learned the patience that I never had as a child. My art forces that on me because the computer will go at its own pace in rendering a picture and the more complicated I make it the longer it will take to render. I always grew up hearing that patience was a virtue. Of course it isn't a virtue that I always have but I am getting better.

Currently in the Midwest we are having a winter that definitely is not going to be a fun or mild one. We don't normally get snow in November. We may have a white Christmas but it usually melts fairly fast. This year promises to be wet and cold and very white and definitely not a delight. The sprained ankle has proven that. However if you have to deal with such a winter you might as well have some fun with it. Hence the title of this picture is "Winter Wonderland."

 

Wrapping the Cat

Don't get me wrong I love my cat Merlin but he can be a real pain around this time of year. Being an artist in a household of wrapping challenged people I somehow always got the job of wrapping the Christmas presents each year. This year is no different. The biggest challenge is not the pretty bows etc. it is trying to wrap around Merlin's "help." For him everything is a toy, the paper, the ribbon, the wire for the bows, the tags, and will you please leave the little teddy bears that go on the bows alone! Sigh.

Next challenge putting up a Christmas tree with a cat in close attendance.

Opposites

One of the things that I have noticed is that there are opposites in nature. There is hot and cold, air and water, fire and ice, night and day, winter and summer, spring and fall, etc. One of the laws of science is that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. In the Chinese Tao Te Ching there is yin and yang, the male and the female. In life there is good and evil. Opposites.

In life I have met some people who are very good and some who are very evil. Most people I think are a combination of good and bad. All of us have the capacity to do evil and one of the battles in life is to overcome our ability to do bad things.

If we take it as a given that God is good then where does evil come from? Does God have an opposite in evil? Does good and evil exist and the way we define it become God and the devil? I think that we have to name things before the concept can be clarified in our minds. The human mind is capable of understanding many things but it has to name or label before it can talk about anything. The human mind prefers concrete to abstract. Opposites.

People define good and evil according to their own beliefs and sense of morality. You see that with politicians who define their "enemies" as "evil." You see it in bickering spouses or family members who define whoever they are mad at as "evil." You see it in so called "preachers" who define whoever or whatever it is they don’t agree with as "evil."

The question is what is evil? The dictionary defines evil as the quality of being morally bad or wrong, wickedness; that which causes harm, misfortune, or destruction. Are people defining as evil things and people who really aren’t? Of course they are. People want to believe that they are good and that anyone who isn’t like them must be evil. I have known people who are very fond of throwing the word evil around while ignoring the evil that they do to others. The ones that shout the loudest about evil are the ones most likely to show evil towards other people. It is like Shakespeare says "me thinks she doth protest too much."

Is nature capable of evil? Nature is certainly capable of mass destruction as we have seen this past year with tsunamis, hurricanes and earthquakes. Does that make nature evil? No because nature is not capable of rational thought. This is an unstable planet that we live in. It is capable of extremes  in weather. It has Teutonic plates that are in constant motion. It does not however have rational thought and it is rational thought that determines whether actions can be evil.

Does God cause bad things to happen to people? No because God by his very nature is good. I know someone who has rejected God and claims to be an atheist because he blames all the bad things on God. In his own life he is capable of immense cruelty to others. I don’t see him as an atheist who doesn’t believe in God as much as a person who has rejected God and is incapable of seeing that he is embracing the devil who does do evil. Good and evil. Opposites.

Does the devil cause bad things to happen to people? No, not by himself he doesn’t, what he does is worse. The devil puts in our hearts the will for us to do the evil to our fellow beings. He puts in our minds the rationalization to destroy our planet, our fellow human beings, our own lives. He tells us that God causes evil and it is alright for us to behave any way we want because God has abandoned us. Why else would there be AIDS, hurricanes, terrorists if God didn’t care about us any more? The devil is the champion at rationalization. If you listen to him you believe you can do anything because you are the "good guy."

In one of my short stories called "Mirror Image" I had my hero having to fight himself, the self that was capable of evil. He couldn’t defeat his evil self until he was reminded that that being had no light. He did not have God in his heart. At the end of the story Sean, who is a senachie or bard, tells the audience, "And so you see in every creature there is the potential to do evil. It is our ability to fight the evil which makes us what we are. The gains ye may make from evil are only smoke and mirrors and have not true value at all." A friend of mine read that story and she remarked that what I had said there stuck in her mind. The path to evil is much easier to take then the path to good. It is the road that we take that defines whether we are good or evil.

Mother's Need to be Needed

I have mentioned that my mother has a very bad heart which is one of the reasons that I moved here. I've done my best to take care of her. The last couple of days, as I've had to baby this sprained ankle, she has taken care of me and has looked better then she has during this past year since I moved here. She drove me to the doctor yesterday morning. She has been making meals and actually has been eating properly herself. She has decided to do her Christmas cards because the computer and typewriter are up here where I have been resting. I think that being able to be a "mommy" may have been what she needed. I'm a very independent person and like Mom I'm more likely to be the one doing the nurturing then being taken care of myself. I think that she feels needed now since I can't be on the foot very much and the doctor won't let me go back to work until Friday. It makes her feel important to do things for me. It is something I must remember. In my concern for her I sometimes forget that she needs to feel needed too and doesn't like being fussed over. Sometimes I have to let her be the "mommy."

Thoughts on Snow

Have I mentioned it has been snowing and icing up here? Seven inches in one day and temperatures below freezing? Another big storm coming on Wednesday?

Normally I love winter however the thought of two to three weeks in an air cast and on crutches in this garbage until the inflammation in the left ankle goes down and I can walk without fireworks of pain is not my idea of fun! Fortunately it isn't broken however that little slip that I thought didn't do much damage since I didn't hit the ground apparently did enough damage to the ankle so that it looks like I have no ankle bone, just a white and red swollen mass where it use to be.

Merlin is playing nurse. Of course at the moment that happens to be giving lessons in how to take a nap. He does get up with me if I have to use the bathroom just to make sure I can get there and back okay. Considering that if he stands on his back paws he can wrap his front around my waist he could probably give me support if he had to. ;-)

The picture is called "Chariots of Fire" and that is how the ankle feels.

Sunday Morning in the Snow

Sunday is a good day to be contemplative about life. Listening to U2’s "The Joshua Tree" certainly helps one to be in a reflective mood. I was thinking today how it was to grow up Catholic. I know my mother says her faith was the only thing that got her through my Dad’s death. He was the only man she had ever loved. She was in her teens when she married him and he died a couple of weeks after their 55th wedding anniversary.

When he was on Charlie Rose’s show Bono said something that really resonated with me. He attributed his social activism to "good old Catholic guilt." While it made me smile it also is a good description that many of us raised Catholic understand. We were taught that Jesus died for our sins and we have to make up for that in our lives by helping others. Bono does that with DATA (Debt, Aids, Trade, Africa) and his tireless campaign to help the Third World countries. Father Damien did that in the last century in Hawaii with his work on Molokai in Hawaii and his care for the lepers there.

It is so easy during this time to focus on the "abuses" in the Catholic Church and ignore the realities. According to his article on "Sex Abuse in the Church" Father Andrew Greeley says, "if the Ratzinger/NYT estimates are anything near the reality, 98% of American priests are not abusers, a point the Times neglects to make and which ought to have been the lead in an unbiased news report. I suspect that the Ratzinger/Times estimates are too low, but double the number to 4% -- which I suspect is closer to the truth -- and one still finds that 96% of priests are not abusers." He says one abuse is one too many but the reality is that the number of abusers in the Catholic Church is no higher than in any other organization. By focusing on abusers and ignoring the good priests a distorted view of the Church is being presented to the reading public.

Faith is a personal thing but I think I learned a lot in my time of nuns and catechism classes. Some of the things I learned were personal responsibility, the existence of good and evil, helping others, compassion, and for me the most important lesson of all that we are on this Earth to help our fellow human beings not for selfish reasons.

I’ve been on a newsgroup dedicated to the show "The Prisoner" for many years. While I don’t normally try to be argumentative there were two instances that I refused to back down on what I perceived as abuses. One was a slur against Aspergers sufferers that a troll used to try and slag off some people on the group. I have a nephew that suffers from this affliction and I was very vocal in saying that when you use a term that depicts a real illness for the sole reason that you want to insult someone else that you denigrate the suffering that people from this affliction are facing. Their suffering becomes nothing more then an insult term and that is wrong. The other came when a regular used foul language to insult another member and used the forum in a way to try and destroy the reputation of another member he did not like. Unfortunately that person fell into the trap and gave the obscenity user the ammunition he needed. I took both of them to task. In my eyes they were both at fault one for using an obscenity laced post after an apology had been made that he knew would push the other over the edge and the other for breaking a trust and posting personal emails. The obscenity user railed that my views were "twee" and I was a prude to object and that he couldn’t be ranked with a person who broke a confidence. Two wrongs do not make a right and yes two can be equally guilty.

I wonder if the fact that the person who refused to accept personal responsibility for his action is a victim of his atheism? When you throw out God in your life are you throwing out morality as well? Is that Catholic guilt that Bono spoke of really a good thing?

I think without a sense of morality that you can learn from religion a person risks the damage to the soul that turns the person from the right path towards the evil and darkness of the devil. You need a moral structure in your life. I like the idea of earning your way into Heaven. Of course my idea of Heaven is closer to the Simpson’s episode that Liam Neeson did. I want the Heaven with the step dancers, Guinness and yes there better be chocolate. In it I will meet again the little Irish priest in the picture, Father Paddy. He was a sweet man who was an enormous comfort to me when my marriage broke up. He died of a heart attack suffered when he was saying Mass.

Lots of White Stuff Out There

Nature has a way of making you do things you have been putting off. I haven't got my Christmas stuff finished yet. I've been hitting the sack early because of a cold coming on. Well I'm behind because the cards have to printed here since I do my own designs every year. Since I do half sized cards I have to print on both sides. I have a great HP printer but the designs are intricate and it takes a while to print.

About one o'clock this afternoon it started to snow and hasn't stopped yet. They are predicting about eight inches. I had to shovel almost four inches of snow off of my car at 4:30 this afternoon. Mother and my brother are working and there is no way I'll be able to sleep until Mom gets home safely. Even when I go to bed early I can't fall asleep until I hear her come in and know she is okay. She doesn't get off until eleven tonight and I'm not getting ready for bed until she gets home. She has her cell phone in case of trouble but I want to make sure she is home safe and sound before I go to bed. While I wait for Mom I'll work on Christmas cards etc. Now if Mother Nature could just be a little more subtle I would be happy.

The picture is called "Chicago WInter Dreams" and came about when shortly after I moved to the Midwest we had a horrible winter with over three feet of snow at one time and I wondered if the city of Chicago could dream what would it dream about?

 

So I'm A Geek Deal With It

It isn't easy growing up different. I was one of those weird people who thought school was for learning. I wasn't all that fond of school sports. You could find me at the debate club rather than the pep rallies. I was more interested in national politics than school politics.

Then as now I loved science fiction and fantasy. I was the dreamer who cheered when we landed on the moon and cheered again when Rover landed on Mars. I fully support the space race with its quest for knowledge. I cringe at attempts to suppress knowledge and replace it with superstition. I believe in God but I believe in a God that's powerful enough that he can use science to do his creation. Even if you take creation all the way back to the primordial atom you still have God. Where do you think that atom came from if not God? I find a God powerful enough to create an atom that starts it all infinitely more satisfying then one who has to make things one piece at a time.

I love science in all its complexity. I believe there is life on other planets. It would be a foolish waste to think this universe just contained us. Sometimes looking at mankind you wonder about our intelligence but God doesn't make junk.

I love the Lord of the Rings, Star Trek and Star Wars. I can converse for hours about them with fellow geeks. I love science fiction conventions. I use to run one. My desk has a computer made to my specifications, a digital camera, a camera cell phone and a pocket PC. Card carrying member of Geeks R Us.

Being a geek however doesn’t mean that I have to let my body go and wear nothing but jeans and T-shirts and no makeup. A shallow star once asked me why so many unattractive people are in fandom. The answer is simple because growing up we were told we didn’t fit in with the beautiful people crowd at school. We were the brainiacs. We were supposed to look dorky. That isn’t true. We can and should take pride in our bodies as well as our minds. We should maintain a healthy weight. We should avail ourselves to hair stylists, makeup and beautiful clothes. We have just as much a right to look good physically as the "beautiful in-crowd." After all we are the brains of society. They can’t make it without us.

The picture is called "City in A Minor." Why? Because I'm a geek and can name my pictures with obscure names. ;-)

Waiting for Godot

It is snowing again here in the Midwest. It looks to be a cold snowy winter this year. I'm thankful that my mother bought me a Honda Accord about a year and a half ago. Someone was selling a 1994 for a very low price and mother got it for me. My 1978 Toyota was on its last legs and this new car runs and handles like a dream especially in bad weather.

Christmas is coming sooner than most of us are ready for it to be here. It reminds me of the play "Waiting for Godot." This is the time of year that little children are the most anxious for time to fly as they can hardly wait for Christmas Day. They will never have the patience that the characters in Beckett's play have waiting for Godot to show up.

I have learned to be more patient over the years although I still find myself muttering "God grant me patience and I want it now." I think being an artist is what taught me patience. Artwork does not come out full blown even if you are using a computer. Art comes at its own pace and if you rush it then it does not come out right. I will find that I have spent literally hours on a picture fine tuning and trying to get everything exactly the way I want it to look. Some pictures take weeks before I am finally satisfied with what I see. It takes an enourmous amount of patience to tell a computer to reproduce the pictures that I see in my mind's eye. There are times that I stare at a picture and try to figure out what that picture needs because I can tell something is missing. Sometimes it is only a tiny change that is needed a shadow or light that needs to be added. I work on the pictures until what I see in my head is on the computer screen.

Life is like that also. You can't rush things to come at the pace you may want them to come. When you take short cuts you can make things worse. My Mom always says that if you do something then do it right. You need to take the time to do it properly. If you rush into something, especially a relationship, then it often fails. I found this out in my marriage. If I had taken the time to really get to know that person I never would have married him.

I try to learn life's lesson that you can climb any mountain if you take it one step at a time which is the theme of this picture. To be human, however, is to make mistakes. There is no guarantee in my life that I won't rush into another relationship or situation in life where patience would be advisable. I am human after all and that does entail that I will lead with my heart and not my head sometimes. Oh and by the way Lord did I mention I need patience now?

 

What Do You Get

One of my favorite newsgroups has been plagued by an idiot troll for almost three years now. In many ways he reminds me of my ex-husband who was a very abusive man. It got me thinking about what do abusers get out of their behavior? What are the consequences? Do they gain anything?

On the newsgroup the troll is met with scorn, ridicule, and hostility. Yet he keeps posting. My ex has destroyed two marriages, estranged his only child, estranged his only sibling, been forced out of numerous jobs, lost all his friends, and is even ostracized from the "furry" community. I have experienced people in the workplace who are verbally abusive and they have no respect from their fellow employees. No one likes them and they are spoken of only in the negative behind their backs.

What all of these abusive people have in common are big egos. They think they are the most important people in their worlds. They have a pathetic need to be in control. They are loud and obnoxious and are constantly trying to bring attention to themselves by shouting "See I'm important! Really I am! Important!" They are the whiners that complain that nothing is their fault. Everyone else is to blame. They are perfect. No one sees how important they are.

These people are so out of touch with reality that they do not comprehend how the rest of the world sees them. They are the paranoid delusionals of this world. Their power is just smoke and mirrors. It doesn't exist. It is there only in their minds.

No man is an island. People have to interact with their fellow beings. Those relationships can be rewarding or they can be miserable. People should be treated with respect. If you give respect and friendship you get respect and friendship in return. My mother has a saying that "he is only happy when he's miserable." I think abusive people have shut out happiness and decent emotions so that the only thing that exists in their lives is self satisfaction. They are incapable of sustaining fulfilling relationships because they drive people away from them. They fail to realize that people can turn their back on them and they are left with no one but themselves.

My ex has ended up a bitter lonely old man. No friends. No supportive coworkers. No family. Abusers end up alone because no one  wants to be near them. They are scorned and ignored. They are on the outside looking in when it comes to friendship and the warmth it brings. They have no one in their lives but themselves and that makes for very poor company. What have they gained? Absolutely nothing.

I Never Promised You A Rose Garden

Nothing is guaranteed in life. There is no warranty that says your life will be easy and you will get everything you want. Life is a gift from God and I believe that you will get out of life what you put into it.

There have been times in my life that I have been really upset at the way things have happened. There have been times when I've been angry with God. I was especially angry when he took my Dad away from me when I needed him the most. I had just fled an abusive marriage and was going to come out to the Midwest to be near to Mom and Dad. A month before I was planning to move Dad was planting a bush and keeled over and was dead before he hit the ground of a massive heart attack. I couldn't understand why God would take someone wonderful like my Dad and leave my abusive husband alive.

It took a long time for me to forgive God but one day I realized that God would have wanted someone good like my Dad near him and not someone like my ex. I grew much stronger as a person because I had to face my problems without Dad's guidance. I found out that I was a lot stronger then I realized. I have used that new found strength to come and take care of my strong willed mother.

God doesn't promise us that everything will be easy. He does promise that he will always be there for us and will give us the strength to overcome difficulties. I feel sorry for friends who are atheists because they have turned their backs on the greatest source of strength there is, the strength that comes from belief in a higher power.

I can only shake my head in disbelief at these so called preachers who attribute to God all sorts of hatred for other human beings. Jesus said "The greatest commandment is this that thou shall love the Lord thy God with thy whole heart, thy whole soul, and thy whole mind and the second is like unto this thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." No qualifiers. He didn't say thou shalt love thy neighbor providing he is white Anglo-Saxon Protestant upper middle class conservative Republican heterosexual. He said thou shalt love thy neighbor period. If we are made in God's image then all of us regardless of race, color, creed, religion, national origin, sex or sexual orientation are made in his image and it is wrong to harbor prejudice against any man who is different from us. We are all God's creatures and he loves us in spite of our failings.

My life hasn't always been the way I have wanted it to be but I  have worked hard to make it the best that it can be. I do what I can to help others and in doing so I have found a serenity within me that gets me through the hard times. God never promised me a rose garden but he promised me he would always be there for me if I had the wisdom to ask.

Glad I'm Me

One thing that really struck me after a very frustrating day at work is that I'm glad I'm me. I have two coworkers who spend an enormous amount of time trying to cause trouble for other people. Both have such sour dispositions. My life may not have been perfect but I wouldn't change it for anyone else's life. I'm glad I am me.

I have always been a person who sees a glass as half full. Yes, I've seen disappointments in my life but I would rather be an optimist then a pessimist. A pessimist has nothing to look forward to because he or she is always looking for the bad in life. Life has both good and bad in it. I would rather dwell on the good things in life then wallow in the misery of rehashing the bad.

One thing I have is a sense of humor. It may be warped but it is still a sense of humor. Personally I blame Dad for it since he is the one who watched Monty Python with me. This picture is called "I Spy." Remember that game you played as a kid on those road trips? "I spy with my little eye something red or whatever." This picture is "I Spy with my little eye the reason why the dog can never win at hide and go seek." Enjoy the day.

 

Influence

When I was in college there was a poem that was extremely popular called "Desiderata."  I probably still have a poster from then that has the poem on it. In many ways what it says mirrors a beautiful book I have that has the ancient Chinese wisdom of the Tao Te Ching. This particular book is illustrated with exceptional black and white photographs. The picture I chose for this entry is called "Morning Has Broken" and is my favorite picture of all the pictures I have done. The serenity in the picture soothes my soul.

 

 

 

 

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

Imagine That

My youngest brother the other day actually accused me of being a child of the sixties. Well let's see if that is accurate.

Music: look here original vinyl LPs of the Beatles, Dave Clark Five (man that Dave is one handsome dude), Animals, Seekers, and of course Noel Harrison. Check.

Jewelry: beads, look here a genuine peace pendant. Check.

Clothes: boots, jeans, t-shirts with slogans, hey look here a tie-dyed Moody Blues t-shirt, mini skirts are missing (I'm three miles from Chicago and it is already snowing give me a break). Check.

Politics: environmentalist, liberal, yep still sixties mind frame. Check.

Well what do you know he is right. ;-)

 

Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving Day here in the United States. It is a day when people should be thankful for the blessings they have been given in their lives. I have been thinking a lot this morning about the blessings that have come into my life. These are some of the things for which I am thankful.

I have a wonderful family. I'm glad Dad lived long enough to reach his 80th birthday. I miss him terribly and wish he were still here but I'm thankful for the wonderful memories I have of him. He taught me the joy in reading. He had a deliciously warped sense of humor that I miss. He gave me encouragement when I was at my lowest point and that encouragement gave me the strength to let my talents blossom and make me the artist, poet, writer, and chef I am today. Thanks Dad.

Thanks Mom for always being there for us. I am thankful she is still here. She is very frail now but we still have her with us and for that I am thankful.

Thanks baby brother Jerry without whose inspiration no one would be reading these words today. He has given me the encouragement to do this blog and some great publicity so that others may find this. Yes I will update it more often and did I mention he was the perfect one? ;-)

Thanks to brother Eric who was more then willing to discuss Star Wars and Lord of the Rings with me. It was nice to have another sci-fi buff in the house who understood his geek sister's love for fantasy and science fiction.

I'm thankful that in my life I have been able to meet and work with some of the performers that have enriched our lives by their work. There are moments that will always make me smile and lighten up a gloomy day. Peter Davison insisted that my staff find me and take me to dinner with them and then spent much of the time talking theatre with me. The look of joy (see picture) when Danny John-Jules saw that I had Merlin (who was only five weeks old at the time) and the "kitty" as he reached for him and proceeded to take him around the convention riding on his shoulder. The late Ray Sharkey turning to my staff and asking "do I need to go rescue her?" when he saw a couple of other staff members pulling me towards Hospitality because I hadn't eaten all day. His "Come here doll" as he was leaving and the huge hug he gave me. The sweet nature of George Takei and his wonderful laugh. Thanks to all of you and all the others who gave their talent to us in their performances and their time to meet and greet their fans.

I am especially grateful to God for giving me the strength to get through one of the most terrible periods in my life when I was trapped in the marriage from hell. Without his love and guidance I would have never made it out of there alive. He allowed my talents to break through at that terrible time and through the art work he gave me the confidence in myself and the boost I needed to take charge of my life.

So on this day of thanksgiving I am thankful that the highs in my life have triumphed over the lows. I am here and alive and have family and friends that love me. I have a God that watches over me. To my family and friends thank you for being there for me and to God above I thank you for the gift of your love.

The Age of Innocence

Some things are burned into your minds and will never be erased. Forty-two years ago today, I was just starting high school and finishing a history class. An announcement came over the loud speakers that everyone was to meet in the boys gym. No explanation. Like teenagers today we were wondering and speculating what in the world was going on. We took our places and looked over to where the microphone had been set up and noticed that some of the teachers were crying. We knew whatever had happened was serious and the room quieted. Our principal told us that in Dallas President Kennedy had been shot and killed. School was dismissed for the day.

For many of us that was the day that the age of innocence died. Kennedy's era was often called Camelot and he was our King and Jackie our Queen. He was young and dynamic and idealistic and even as teenagers who couldn't vote for him we still related to him. One thousand days is a very short time to make your claim on people's hearts but JFK had ours.

If someone were to ask me to describe my generation I would say we were the idealists who were realistic enough to know that you had to fight for what you believe in. We were the age of civil rights and the Peace Corp. We believed in the shining Camelot that Kennedy promised us and his death made us determined to make it a reality for everyone. We marched, we protested, we talked, we worked, some died fighting for what they believed in, and I believe we made a difference in this world. I believe we made the world a little better of a place to be.

For many of us that caring for others became a permanent part of our lives. In everything I do I try to make sure that I help as many people as I can. A year ago I gave up my independence and moved in with my mother to help take care of her in her declining years. I don't regret a moment of that decision. She needs me and as long as she is alive I will be here for her.

For many of us on that day 42 years ago our childhood ended early. That tragedy however made us strong and showed us that the ability to love and care for others is the legacy of that "one shining moment that is known as Camelot."

Aaarrrggghhh!!!!!!!

AOL is driving me nuts!!

Attempt 995 to get it to take the new picture. It is called "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes." My current dream is that AOL locks their techs up and refuses to let them near a computer program ever again.

 

Veteran's Day

Friday was Veteran's Day. I was reading that there are only 50 veterans left alive from World War I. My Dad was a veteran of World War II. I wish he had lived long enough to see the Memorial in Washington DC. My oldest brother is a veteran from Vietnam. The picture is a salute to all of our veterans who have risked or given their lives so that we may be free.

 

Science Fiction

When I was about eight years old I discovered something at my library called science fiction. I was immediately hooked and to this day I call myself a science fiction fan. A lot of my artwork is fantasy and space oriented. The SciFi channel's Friday night lineup is one of my favorites. While I took a week off to relax and spend time with my mother I ended up doing two new pictures. One picture shows a lighthouse and I called it "The Sentinel" after a short story by my favorite science fiction writer Arthur C. Clarke. The other is a surrealistic picture inspired by the song "Windmills of Your Mind." My baby brother gave me the most fantastic gift for my birthday this year when he found a remastered Noel Harrison CD that had all of his old songs on it. It has rapidly become one of my favorite CDs.

The Road Less Taken

A lot of my picture ideas come in the twilight state between waking and sleeping. This is one of those pictures and I'm calling it "The Road Less Taken." I have always felt in order to be creative you need to be able to explore new and different ideas. You need to take a road that is different from the roads other people take. I have always marched to my own drummer. It is something I learned from my Dad. I have learned to accept myself as I am and I find I am a lot happier as a person when I realized that I may not be perfect but I am the best that I can be. You get out of life what you put into it.

Per Chance to Sleep

One of the neat thing about cats is that they can take a nap at any time and in any place. This picture is called "Autumn Nap."

My own cat Merlin would get an A+ in naps if he were graded.

The Prisoner

One of my favorite television shows has always been Patrick McGoohan's "The Prisoner." It is a cerebral show that was meant to make you think. The fact that people are still talking about it after 30 years shows that it did what Mr. McGoohan had intended.

Part of the appeal for me is the fact that Number Six (as the character is known) continued to follow the dictates of his conscience and did what he felt was proper even if the consequences of his actions were painful. He was betrayed many times but that didn't stop him from speaking out and doing what he knew in his heart was right.

It is a lesson that is mirrored in real life. Sometimes you are faced with a dilemma of how to respond to a situation that you know is wrong. Do you stay silent or do you speak up? If you follow your conscience and do or say what you know to be right there is a possibility that you may be hurt. There are people in authority who may retaliate against you.

This picture is based on "The Prisoner" and is called "Freedom's Challenge." If you truly value freedom, truth and honesty then you will need to fight for it. That is the challenge. If you believe in your heart that something is wrong then you must speak up. Authority can be abused but that should not stop you from doing the moral thing. The abuser only shows the world his true self.

Freedom is not a gift it is a challenge. If you value it then fight for it.

Field of Dreams

This picture came to me in that twilight time between being awake and asleep. Of course it took 2 weeks to get it the way I wanted.

You know AOL I might update this Journal more often if you didn't drop the connection every single time that I try to add a picture!

 

 

Stargate

On of my favorite show is Stargate SG1 and I'm really liking Stargate Atlantis also. I was working on a picture last night that came out just the way I wanted it. Stargate fans will recognize the theme. I am calling it "The Lost World" and I think it is one of my best pictures yet.

 

Hey NASA!

You know guys when you announce a discovery of a gas planet with three suns it would be a good idea if your artist would put a gas planet in the illustration. The picture accompanying your announcement had a rocky moon and nowhere to be seen was a gas planet.

We Knew That

Scientists have found a tenth planet in our solar system. We science fiction fans knew that it was there. Now they just need to leave poor Pluto alone. He may be small but he is still a planet.

 

Rememberance

Yesterday was Independence Day with its flags and firecrackers. Yesterday also saw the last breath of a World War II veteran. My Uncle left high school to join the army. He survived being a prisoner in a Nazi Prisoner of War Camp. He loved his country. We had all hoped we had more time with him but the cancer raced through his body. I spent yesterday trying to comfort his little sister, my mother.

I have always found solace in art. The picture is called "Birth of a Galaxy" and it did bring a bit of solace to my mother. My art usually does. This picture is dedicated to Kenneth Eugene Hughes. You will be missed Uncle Gene.

Birthday Surprise

My Mom is going to be 79 on July 6th and I've been trying to figure out something unique that I can give her. I thought that a book with birthday greetings from around the world would be a wonderful surprise. If you don't mind would you please send her an email birthday greeting and let her know where in the world the greeting is coming from. If you will just email to this address michelewln@aol.com. I will then print them and put them in a booklet with pictures from various parts of the world and give it to her on her birthday.

Father's Day

Today is Father's Day in the US. It is kind of a bittersweet day for me since we are celebrating it without Dad. Today has been a day of memories for me though. My Dad was a World War Two veteran. I wish they had finished the WWII memorial in his lifetime. I would have loved to take him to see it.   It is the little things I am remembering today especially his sense of humor. I remember taking him to the first Star Wars movie. His first comment on leaving the movie was "target practice at 0800 hours." I remember having an extra ticket to see John Denver and asking him along. I thought he was just being kind since my car was on the fritz and he was driving but on the way home he started talking about how much he loved John Denver's music and how happy he was to have seen him live. I remember his asking if I wanted to throw a football or play softball with him. He was never sure what do with an only daughter and was thrilled when I turned out to athletic. Only one of the four boys turned out that way so Dad taught me all the sports he loved. I remember the "uncola" glass at my Aunt's place one Easter. 7-Up had come out with an upside down coke glass as a promotional. Dad called out to me "Michele quick put you hand under the glass the bottom just broke." I did and he laughed so hard he almost dropped the glass.   So Dad thanks for all the laughter and the love that I remember on this special day. And for all fathers everywhere I hope you and your love ones enjoy this day.  

Phoenix Rising

I have had a picture in my mind for several years of a phoenix rising out of the sun. I've done a couple of versions in acrylics but they didn't come out exactly right. It took almost three weeks but this version is finally what I was aiming for.

A New Picture

Every once in a while a picture comes out just like I wanted. I was really happy about the way the waves came out on this one. It is called "Wizard's Tower."

 

Happy Mother's day

Today is Mother's Day. Mine is still asleep as I write this. She had a bad time with her heart yesterday. It is hard to know how many more Mother's Day we have keft with her. I try to make each day as special for her as I can. I make sure she knows each day that I love her and care about her.

Song of Stars

It has been a long week. It has been a week of passings. Terry Schiavo is with God and the bitter battle is finally over. She is whole again and at peace. It also saw the death of Pope John Paul II. He was an incredible man and I can't think of anyone who has had such an impact on this world. He will leave big shoes for the next Pope to fill. It also saw the death of a voice from my past with DJ Dr. Don Rose. Most remember him for his humor and the fun you had listening to him. The two shows I remember most though are the ones he did after the Jonestown tragedy caused by Jim Jones and the day after the murder of San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and Harvey Milk. He brought such comfort on those days to his listeners who were numb with shock. All three of them are with God now as is my Dad.

I worked all week on this picture because I wanted something special in their memory. I also will be using it to remind my young nephew what a special young man he is. He suffers from Apsergers and sometimes like now he just doesn't realize how much he is loved and how special he is.

 

Atlantis

One of the enduring myths is Atlantis. This is my vision of the mythical city. I have a lot of pictures in my head currently that are begging to get out. I found a bunch of Bryce tutorials on the web and I definitely want to try some of them in my art. Again I'm amazed at how the creative juices have been running since I changed jobs.

 

Happy St. Patrick's Day

For a change it isn't snowing and freezing here. The inspiration for the picture comes from the fact that Chicago dyes the river green each year for their big St. Patrick's Day Parade. I don't think the leprechaun's companions are as amused as he is. The picture is called "Leprechaun Humor."

I have lately been rereading Andrew Greeley's Nuala Anne books. I enjoy his books not only because they are well written but he also brings a definite connection to my Irish heritage. You learn a great deal about the Irish both past and present from his books.

 

Lot's of Art Coming Up

It is taking forever for the Star Wars III trailer to download but I'm determined to see it tonight. Right that would be me and a million others as slow as it is going. ;-)

It is going to snow again all weekend so I'm devoting the time to doing artwork. I have a St. Patrick's Day picture I'm working on and then I'll do my Easter one. It promises to be really silly. After that I am going to do a series of 4 pictures with Feng Shui themes that my niece would like. I hope to have them done in time to present them as a wedding gift. I also have a wedding dress to make for her based on the Princess Bride movie and find and learn the Irish Wedding Song that I promised to sing at her wedding. It is a good thing she is giving me a year to try and get all of this done.

One Giant Step

I have finished the last story for the first "Sean's Stories" book. It came in at a whopping 55 pages so I hesitate to call it a short story. It does set up everything though so I can go back and do the novel "Caledonia" which tells the story of magic being brought into the worlds and the story of the elves, unicorns and dragons plus the coming into being of the Dark One. I did a new cover picture for the book. I am now trying to find all the information I can on how to get the book published. That is my goal for this year.

Other then that life is still going good. I am happy at work and I am working for someone who appreciates me for a change. What a difference from my old job!

 

A New Year

It was a fairly quiet Christmas and New Year. I am thankful that my Mom is doing fairly well. I am also so thankful that I have a great boss for a change. It is so nice to have someone that appreciates my hard work and lets me know how much she appreciates it. After having to deal with a lying, jealous, team leader at my old job I am so blest to have a good person to report to. I know that the problems are still occurring at my old job which proves what a liar that woman was. I am glad to be out of that situation.

I have been much more creative now that I'm free of the stress. I have one more story to complete and I will have enough to try and get my book published. My first picture for the new year is called "Dream Weaver" and I am very pleased with it.

I am not one for making resolutions but I do hope that this year I can set up a internet business and sell my art work. I also am going to pursue getting my cookbook and my stories published.