Must Be Monday

Monday has managed to sneak around again when we weren't looking. Oh well what would we start our week complaining about if we didn't have Monday to kick around? Well if you are Merlin you can find plenty to whine about. It is his third biggest talent right after naps and chowing down.

I posted for the first time in a moderated group on one of my favorite topics and was immediately made to feel welcome. I am starting to get positive feedback on my art work too. I was highly amused to see an article I posted there reproduced hours later on the old group. So much for it being number one.

This morning's news brought back an old nightmare when I saw pictures of the MacArthur freeway in Oakland that had collapsed from a fiery crash.(http://news.aol.com/topnews/articles/_a/california-freeway-collapses-after-fiery/20070429135509990001?ncid=NWS00010000000001  I was living in California at the time of the Loma Prieta earthquake when we had collapsed freeways and part of the Oakland Bay Bridge. The miracle of it this time is that no one was killed.

One of the things I dread about going into work is hearing all the whining and negative comments that are sure to go on ad nauseum. Yesterday was spent with one of my favorite people, Aunt Bird, and she has to be one of the most happy and upbeat people on the face of the planet. She is an absolute joy to be around. I am making a positive effort to be more like her in attitude and not let things get me down to the point where I am negative all the time. She loved the booklet I gave her of the photographs I have been taking of flowers and trees and nature. Of course I added some pictures of Pixie and Merlin. I had to show off my babies.

I hope this week brings you a lot of joy and happiness.

The real counter is 5040.

Dance

Today is National Dance Day. Dancing is a big part of the Celtic tradition. The popularity of Riverdance showed how fascinated people were with dancing. One of the late Kurt Vonnegut's stories Welcome to the Monkey House was dramatized several years ago. In the story no one was allowed to be better the anyone else. In the end two people, a man and a woman, broke free and danced a beautiful ballet together before being killed. It was a depressing story but the ending where the expression of the individual in dance was so incredibly moving.

The Irish have a saying "Sing as if no one were listening. Dance as if no one were watching. Live each day as if it were your last." It is a wonderful philosophy for life. Too often we are shackled by our fears that other people will laugh at us if we express ourselves. We are afraid to sing, to dance, to paint, to do something creative because "we aren't good enough." It isn't important what others think because you need to express yourself for you. The need to create is a wonderful thing. We need more beauty in the world. Who cares if your early attempts aren't perfect. We learn as we go along. I am still learning new things with my art programs. I am learning with my writing. I create because my soul yearns to express myself. The fact that others love what I create is a bonus. I am a free spirit and my soul loves creating.

So today go ahead and sing and dance. It is a beautiful day. The picture is called May You Dance. The lyrics below are for the song Lord of the Dance. The lyrics for this version were adapted from a song called "Simple Gifts" by Sydney Carter in 1963. The music is a 19th century Shaker tune.

Lord of the Dance

I danced in the morning when the world was young
I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun
I came down from heaven and I danced on the earth
At Bethlehem I had my birth

Dance, dance, wherever you may be
I am the lord of the dance, said he
And I lead you all, wherever you may be
And I lead you all in the dance, said he

I danced for the scribes and the Pharisees
They wouldn't dance, they wouldn't follow me
I danced for the fishermen James and John
They came with me so the dance went on

Dance, dance, wherever you may be
I am the lord of the dance, said he
And I lead you all, wherever you may be
And I lead you all in the dance, said he

I danced on the Sabbath and I cured the lame
The holy people said it was a shame
They ripped, they stripped, they hung me high
Left me there on the cross to die

Dance, dance, wherever you may be
I am the lord of the dance, said he
And I lead you all, wherever you may be
And I lead you all in the dance, said he

I danced on a Friday when the world turned black
It's hard to dance with the devil on your back
They buried my body, they thought I was gone
But I am the dance, and the dance goes on

Dance, dance, wherever you may be
I am the lord of the dance, said he
And I lead you all, wherever you may be
And I lead you all in the dance, said he

They cut me down and I leapt up high
I am the life that will never, never die
I'll live in you if you'll live in me
I am the Lord of the dance, said he

Dance, dance, wherever you may be
I am the lord of the dance, said he
And I lead you all, wherever you may be
And I lead you all in the dance, said he

The real counter is 5034

Satisfied Saturday

"Always act according to the highest moral standards, both in private and in public." The Upanshads

They are apparently making big changes at work in my department. I'm going to be doing special projects permanently now. I sure prefer to crunch the numbers to trying to bug people into paying their bills. I'm just not pushy enough to be a collector. Investigating billing problems and stuff like that hey I have my Sherlock Holmes cap on order.

It is supposed to be a beautiful weekend for a change however thunder storms are scheduled for the middle of next week. Hey this is the Midwest and we are into thunderstorm and tornado season. Mother Nature does like to show us who is boss out here.

It will probably be a vegetative weekend for me. I'm really not motivated to do a whole lot. Mom has the weekend off and I'm planning on hanging with her most of the weekend. She didn't get home until almost 12:30 this morning from her job. I need to get Pixie to step up the "I'm cute and I need you home" bit so I can get Mom to retire. She doesn't need the stress that the job causes her.

Being a science and astronomy buff I was fascinated with the articles about the discovery of a planet that could support life that came out this week. I am one of those people who are certain that there is life on other planets. It will be most interesting to see if they have managed to overcome the nature that wants to destroy rather then to protect. Sometimes I really despair of mankind learning to be peaceful but then something will happen that shows that we do have the ability to nurture.

For some reason the song with the lyrics "over the fields and through the woods to grandmother's house we go" was running through my head last night. The result was this picture called Over the Fields. Before you get all Little Red Riding Hood on me I could of just been thinking about the new world and maybe wolves are the dominant species there. Probably not though. ;-)

The real counter is 5025.

Happiness

"Happiness that is delightfully varied, though its essence is changeless, is the inner experience everyone is seeking." Paramahansa Yogananda

There are a lot of things in life that make me happy. Helping others makes me happy. Talking to my Mom makes me happy. More then one person has called me "Sunshine" because generally I am an upbeat person and try not to make others depressed when I'm upset. I don't always succeed but generally I'm upbeat.

One of my favorite cartoon characters is Marvin the Martian. Hey it makes sense to me that he wants to blow up the Earth because it obstructs his view of Venus. ;-) There is just something about the character that tickles my funny bone. If I'm feeling down I pop in a tape of Marvin and sit back and laugh.

I also laughed a lot when watching Monty Python or the late Dave Allen. Both were on my PBS station and both cracked me up. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, know what I mean, know what I mean.

At home our crack up comedian is Pixie. When she goes on a "chase the tail" routine it leaves us helpless with laughter. She will run one way and then the other in a circle to catch that elusive tail. She jumps and twirls and finally will catch that tail with both paws and give it a lick or two and then she is off again. The only critter who doesn't think she is funny is poor Merlin but then she terrorizes him. The poor baby can't seem to catch a nap any time he wants because she wants to play. The little whipper snapper has no respect for the elderly.

I get a lot of happiness from creating whether it is art, poetry, writing, sewing, recipes, crafts, or whatever. I love using my God given talents to make something new. Others love it when I share what I have created and I get a lot of happiness knowing that others love my work.

This weekend we will be going up to see my Mom's sister. She is such a happy person and I love visiting her. I am printing off some of the best of my nature pictures for her because she loves flowers. Of course I will have to include some pictures of Pixie since Mom has told her so much about her baby.

I enjoy games where you have to think such as Myst or 7th Guest. One of my favorite games is MahJongg or Shanghai as it is sometimes known. I'll be playing it on my pocket PC on the way to my Aunt's on Sunday.

I hope you have much happiness today.

The real counter is 5012.

Gotta

"The reverse side has also its reverse side." Japanese proverb

Work is leaving me with massive headaches lately. Ya gotta do this, no this, no this, I mean this and it has to be done yesterday before I told ya to do it! They ignore the fact that you are one person being asked to do numerous jobs all of them full time.

There are so many things that need to be done at home as well. It is no wonder that my most valuable possession is my pocket PC where I have all my reminder lists and things that I need to get done and when things are scheduled. It is the only way I remember anything any more, I write it down. Love my little electronic brain.

Sometimes I think we over schedule our lives with things to do and we no longer are able to enjoy the moment. There are too many gottas on our list. Life has a way of throwing roadblocks into the gotta do lists however. One of my gottas is I need to get out and walk more however Mother Nature decided to rain instead. She doesn't care about my gotta list.

Maybe we all need to stop and look at the time we schedule in our lives and see if any of it can be unscheduled so that you can just enjoy being alive. Enjoy the moment. Carpe diem.

The picture is called Lover's Sky. If you look at it closely you will see that the red object is something familiar.

The real counter is 5006.

A Good Man

"The most important point is to accept yourself and stand on your own two feet." Shunryu Suzuki

"Nowadays the world is becoming increasingly materialistic, and mankind is reaching toward the very zenith of external progress, driven by insatiable desire for power and vast possessions. Yet by this vain striving for perfection in a world where everything is relative, they wander even further away from inward peace and happiness of mind." Dalai Lama

I had to break bad news to my Mom yesterday. A man she greatly admired passed away after fighting some horrendous injuries. When my Dad died Nathan took my widowed Mom under his wing and any time she needed help repairing things in the house he did so charging her very little. He was a very good man and was loved by everybody who knew him.

I had only met him briefly once but I was very grateful for the way he took care of Mom. Anytime she had a problem with this old house she could count on him to come and fix it. My Dad was a handyman and could fix anything and after his death Mom was at a loss to find someone who could do all the things that he could do.

Nathan had gone through some very hard times this last year or so. His wife had been in a serious auto accident. He had been injured badly when he was hit by a car. The final blow came a couple of weeks ago when a tree he was cutting down fell on him rather then the way it was supposed to go. His body never fully recovered even though it looked for a time that he may pull through. In the end though God wanted him home.

It was a very hard call to make to tell Mom of his passing. I knew she would be terribly upset but I also knew I needed to be the one to tell her. My older brother is a good guy but he really doesn't know how to handle things like this. My mother is a very private person and keeps her feelings and emotions to herself except when it comes to me and her older sister. I am the one who knows how to listen to her. I listened yesterday.

Another good man is the Pastor of our church, Father Steve. A few months ago a 19 year old kid fell asleep at the wheel and plowed into Father Steve's car critically injuring him. The kid just walked awy with very minor injuries. Father Steve has been through many surgeries and now therapy to learn how to walk again. He is still not back at his duties. We are thankful that we still have him with us. He was so hoping to be back at work for the Easter Season but was not able to make that. We hope to have him back by mid summer.

Two good men, one with God and one being watched over by God. My prayers and those of my family are with them both.

The real counter is 4996.

If It's Tuesday It Must Be Geek Day

"Along with love, compassion is the face of altruism. It is a feeling from deep in the heart that you cannot bear other's suffering without acting to relieve it." Dalai Lama

After a very long seven weeks the Geek favorite Heroes came back last night with a doozy of an episode. It was more then a little gory and intense and definitely not a show for young kids to watch. NBC left themselves open to an avalanche of mail asking what we thought would happen if the heroes can not stop the explosion. Do thy have any idea of the theories that we can come up with and how voraciously a geek can argue a theory? They are about to find out.

Next week's episode should be very interesting. It is set five years in the future and shows a scenario of what could happen if the bomb goes off. According to TV Guide more then a couple of characters let power go to their heads.

We have all heard the adage that power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. You can see examples of this in every day life. Where I work we had a person in power that let the power go to his head. He made going to work a nightmare with his micromanaging everything and his orders that made no sense. We are going to be years trying to clean up the mess he left before he was fired. You see the power hogs on newsgroups where certain people feel they are the only ones with knowledge and woe betide anyone who comes in fresh and wants to put out new ideas. You see this with anonymous trolls and posters who hide behind the anonymity of the Internet to make nasty posts and tear people down. They are cowards pure and simple.

I worked science fiction conventions for years with some good people running them and some who let the power go to their heads. I finally ran my own with a staff that would not work for anyone else but me because I treated them right and realized that a convention is only as good as the whole staff.

Any time a person gets put in a position of authority there is a chance that the power may be used unwisely. We see this in world events with governments, military, schools, business, any place where power can rest with one person without the checks and balances needed to keep power from corrupting. That is one thing that the United States Government was set up to try and avoid. There are three distinct branches of government executive, legislative, and judicial that are supposed to be a checks and balance system for the other branches. It doesn't always work perfectly but at least it is there to try and keep corruption of power down.

The ultimate power in this world is Mother Nature. Man has done his best to impose his will on this planet sometimes for good but often times with destructive results. No matter how powerful we think we are though Mother Nature is still the boss. She is a fragile and capricious power and she will throw up hurricanes, tornados, earthquakes, tsunamis, etc. when she wants. Maybe we should pay more attention to the scientists and their warnings and see about cleaning up our act and pacifying our angry mother.

The real counter is 4987.

Monday Again

It is amazing how these Mondays keep rolling around. Weekends aren't long enough although this one I could have done without. We tried to catch the outdoor cats but neither Mom nor my brother are fast enough to help when trying to get wiggling cats into a box. As a result my left hand was clawed to pieces and is still very sore. I went to the Emergency Room that evening to get it checked out only to find that the idiot was the doctor in charge. He didn't even look at my hand! He prescribes a pain pill knowing that there weren't any pharmacies open. In addition to the hand bothering me I have a knot in the muscle right below my neck and by the spine. It is very painful and is probably caused by tension but I can't seem to get rid of the stress so that it may relax.

I did get out and walk this weekend and got some more pictures of Spring flowers. I got the web site updated with three new art pieces and with the new photographs. So in spite of the pain I'm in I was able to do something positive.

I am getting very tired of negativity and stupidity in what I am reading. The press focuses on haircuts and how much money Hollywood is giving which candidate rather then telling us the positions each candidate holds on various things that affect our lives. It is no wonder that people are focusing on stupid things rather then what is important. Take Barak Obama's middle name. He was named after his father and his middle name is Hussein. Hello! He didn't name himself! He was named after his father not Sadam Hussein! If you are going to say something about the man why don't you read his views and debate those not something he had no control over.

I really don't care what "star" supports which politician. They are free to support whomever they like just as you and I are free to support the candidate of our choice. I don't vote for someone based on who does or does not support that person. Neither should you. The only real concern I have with Hollywood at the moment is Scientology. It is a cult formed by a third rate science fiction writer as a tax dodge after a drunken bet with some other writers that he, L. Ron Hubbard, could make up a "religion" and get people to buy it. It preys on the people with limited education. Do you wonder why it is so against psychiatrists? Psychiatrists can see right through the hooey and prove that this whole thing in nonsense from start to finish. It isn't even good science fiction.

So hi, ho, hi, ho, it's off to work I go to face another week of a computer system that doesn't work and listening to my coworkers moan and groan about everything. So when is the weekend coming again?

The real counter is 4978.

Earth Day

"'We' and 'they' no longer exist. This planet is just us. The destruction of one area is the destruction of yourself. This is the new reality." Dalai Lama

"The older generation, including me, is getting ready to say goodbye to this world. The youth has to carry the responsibility for the future. So, please realize your responsibility, remember your potential, and have self-confidence. Have an open mind and a sense of caring and belonging. The freshness and strength that youth has should not fade away. You must keep this enthusiasm." Dalai Lama

Today is Earth Day. It is the perfect day to go outside and look at the beauty of nature and the world that God has given us. We have a beautiful Spring day outside for a change after the snow flurries of the previous weeks and I hope to be out with my digital camera taking some pictures.

There are a lot of articles in today's papers regarding the planet Earth and its survival. Some of the predictions that the scientists are making are very grim indeed. It doesn't matter what your politics are, we all have to live on this planet. There is no where else to go. This is all we have.

We owe it to ourselves and our descendents to keep this home of ours in good shape. We have shown that we can work together and get air emissions down by taking better care of our cars and getting more fuel efficient and cleaner cars. We can clean up the rivers and streams. We can do anything we put our minds to.

I think very few people enjoy living in a home that could pass for a pigsty. Why should we allow our home outside our doors to be any different? The Earth is our home. Let's take care of it properly.

The picture is called Earth Day. In case your weather isn't cooperating you can find some beautiful Spring pictures here to remind you how beautiful Mother Nature can be. http://members.aol.com/michelespoetry/photography.htm

The real counter is 4970.

We Are Family

My baby brother mentioned in his podcast this week (http://www.diecast-dude.com/ddpod.rss) and in the text version on Goldfish and Clowns (http://blog.goldfishandclowns.com/) a comment I had made at his new NASCAR blog home (http://www.restrictorplatethis.com/) about not letting him "Go Hollywood." Hey what are big sisters for? It was a joking remark in a way but it also had a serious undercurrent to it.

Family is very important to me. I'm not going to claim that everyone in my family always gets along. We do argue like everybody else but one thing that is important is that we are there for each other. Jerry knows I will always be at his back and I know he will be at mine.

One thing we don't need to worry about in our family is anybody getting a swelled head or "going Hollywood." With our ability to puncture over inflated egos with a snappy remark we know better then to even try going that route. I have put up with an enormous amount of "short" jokes in my lifetime. I must say it was very satisfying when I was able to hand one of my brothers a button that said "Aren't you a little short to be a Stormtrooper?" shortly after Star Wars came out.

While we reserve the right to tease the heck out of each other we do not allow other people to go on the attack against one of us. Jerry knows me well enough that if he is having problems with someone on one of his blogs that he knows that I want to get involved and add my two cents worth. It isn't that he can't defend himself because he does a real good job of it. It is that he knows that I too want to help. I expect him to come to my defense here if I get attacked and he does. We are there for each other.

One of the saddest things to see is when there are rifts between family members. My ex is estranged from his entire family. His only child didn't even invite him to his wedding last year. That is sad. One of the biggest strains in my marriage was that I have a strong sense of family and my ex obviously does not. Marriage does not mean that you abandon your family. It means you incorporate each other's families into yours to make a larger extended family.

Family is very important and one day mankind will realize that it is a part of the family of man and start treating their fellow family members with a little more respect.

The real counter is 4963.

Little Things

Pixie has been on a tail chasing bent lately. First she races around one way to try and catch it and then she goes the other way. She will tumble and twist and turn and get hold of it with one paw and then the other and finally grab it with both paws because it keeps getting away from her. It makes Mother laugh so much to see her silly maneuvers. It is such a little thing that tail of hers yet she gets so much fun out of it and we get so much fun out of watching her.

In the movie Lord of the Rings the character Boromir picks up the ring and remarks about it being such a little thing however the whole fate of everyone in the movie and in the book it is based on is bound up in that little ring.

It isn't always the big things that are important in the world. It is sometimes a little thing that will set a person off either for good or evil. Take the emotion jealousy for example. That little envy of someone else can fester and grow inside to the point where it twists the mind into a killing machine.

Have you ever seen a mustard seed? It is tiny yet out of it a big plant will grow. The important fact about little things is that they will grow into big things. How they grow is up to you. When I was in High School I overheard a little remark that my Mom made to a friend on the phone. She said something to the effect that my older brother was so smart and naturally got good grades but if I wanted good grades I really needed to study. It was a little remark that really hurt. It took many, many years for my Mom to realize that I was an extremely smart person and that I studied because I loved learning. I was the first child in the household to get a college degree. My older brother flunked out his first time at college. Instead of letting the remark get me down it made me more determined then ever to learn and keep on learning about everything I could. To this day I am always trying to learn new things and with every new piece of knowledge I learn the happier I am. I knew I was smart but I wanted my Mom to realize it to. She does now.

Little remarks can help or harm depending on what you do with them. It doesn't absolve the speaker from really paying attention to what they are saying however. Always ask yourself what would be the effect on the person I am talking about if they overheard me?

The real counter is 4941.

Quiet Day

"In general, I always state that I have three commitments in life. On the level of religious practitioner, my second commitment is the promotion of religious harmony and understanding amongst different religious traditions." Dalai Lama

Today would have been my parents 63 wedding anniversary if Dad had lived. I know that Mom will be depressed all day. I am hoping that Pixie will continue to be receptive to her moods and do her best to make her laugh. She is on a "chase her tail" streak lately and that should do the trick.

Mom said that one of the things that got her through Dad's death was her strong faith. I imagine today that God is hearing from both sides. He is hearing the prayers of those whose faith is strong and giving comfort to those who are grieving. He is also listening to the complaints of those who blame him for not intervening into the tragedy at Virginia Tech and stopping it. He understands that man doesn't always understand about free will and that He doesn't step in to make mankind behave. That is up to us.

Today would have also been my own wedding anniversary but rather then feeling sorrow like my Mom does for her own marriage I feel relief that I am no longer trapped in my marriage. The day had started out with great hopes for me but time intervened and I came to realize that I had made a huge mistake. Fortunately I got out of that mistake alive. Many women are not so lucky.

So today will be a quiet day. It will be a day of reflection. It will be a day of sorrow for many. It will also be a day of happiness for others. Whatever type of day it will be for people it will also be a day that God will continue to watch over us and understand if we get angry at Him because of human failings.

The real counter is 4935

Fragile

"A single bad word can destroy a vast quantity of good." Valluvar

"Compassion is the pillar of world peace." Dalai Lama

Life is very fragile. Yesterday's tragedy at Virginia Tech certainly showed that. Their are 33 people dead and that toll may rise. We don't know yet what made the killer break down and take so many lives including his own. I'm not going to get into the whole gun control debate for that is for another day.

I learned how quickly death can strike when I got a call from my brother on May 4, 1999 telling me Dad had died that morning. He had been planting a bush and keeled over and was dead before he hit the ground. The hardest thing for survivors of sudden death is that you never had a chance to say goodbye. It is why it is so important to tell people you love that you love them every chance you get.

Yesterday did make a decision for me however. I had been contemplating a couple of places to go after Mom dies one of them Chicago and one North Carolina. I have chosen North Carolina because my niece and her family are there and they need me. I have always been her emotional support and her children do love me. I have decided that I will move close to them after Mom goes. I want to be able to tell them I love them frequently.

After Dad died I wrote this poem to express my feelings of missing him. It is called A New Star in the Sky. The picture is called Peace and is also dedicated to my Dad.

The real counter is 4929

A New Star in the Sky

 

I miss you more then I can say.

Why did God take you away?

There’s so much I want to tell you.

I’ve more love I need to give you.

For you brightened up my day

With the love you sent my way.

 

Who will share my dreams now?

No one’s there to teach me how

To make each day a joy to live,

To show me how myself to give.

Who will be my teacher now?

So I can be the best I know how?

 

Once I heard a little child say,

“My Grandpa he has gone away.

But God saw his shinning soul

And knew that we still need him so.

He took that light like it was clay

And formed a star to light our way.”

 

When I look at the star filled sky

I feel a peace and by and by,

I know that you look down on me.

As that peace embraces me

I know your love will never die

As long as stars shine in the sky.

 

Old Friends

I received a call yesterday from an old friend. He was the man who built my current computer and in addition to being my computer guru we had become friends. I hadn't herd from him in a while and his emails and the Christmas card came back to me. It turned out he and his family had moved to Connecticut. It was so good to hear from him because he is a really nice man. We caught up on how our respective families were doing.

It reminded me of other old friends that I haven't heard from in a while that I need to try an reestablish communications with. I think all of us have people in our lives that we wonder what happened to them. I know I do.

As you go through life many of us move around a lot and friends we made in one place don't carry over to a new place since we don't physically see them as often as we did. We are a mobile society and always on the move. We change jobs, and houses, and places of employment frequently. Unlike most of our parents we don't tend to stay in one place that long.

It is one thing that I find different in this small town I live in. A lot of the people I meet here were born and raised here and have never left. They tend to be in the same jobs they started with right out of school. Growing up we moved four times. When I was married we moved four times in six years. I have moved three times since then and will move again after my mother passes away.

In this transient life we lead however it becomes more important then ever to have a core set of values that don't change. There has to be a part of you that remains you no matter where you are. You have to believe in yourself and in a certain standard of behavior that you expect for yourself. God doesn't change no matter where you are at which is why religion does not fade and go away. Where the churches, temples, synagogues, etc. may change the core belief of the religion you subscribe to does not. God certainly doesn't change. S/he is always the same and always there for us no matter where we may find ourselves.

The picture is called Friends. As we start a new week it would be a good time to reach out and try and reconnect with the old friends that we use to have in our lives and bring them back into your heart.

The real counter is 4915.

Sunny Sunday

After yesterday's yucky weather we actually have blue skies and sunshine. It is still cold but you can't have everything. Yesterday's weather put a crimp in things because mother got all anxious about me going out in it so I didn't get the shopping done and will need to do it today.

I actually buckled down yesterday and did research on agents for my book. The big thing I discovered is that most of them do not want to handle short story books preferring novels. Now the interesting thing about the stories is that there is a background story running through them. Guess what just got promoted to the foreground? I am working now on bringing the stories together as a whole into a novel. I am finding that since the background story ties them together that it isn't that much of a stretch writing wise to bring the stories together as a whole entity. It will be a challenge but a doable one.

I like challenges in life. I really don't like the stagnation of the same old, same old. There are some things that I know I can do quite well and others that I need to work on. While it would be easier to just coast in my life it would also be boring. A life without challenge is not a life lived to its fullest.

Remember the old adage "today is the first day of the rest of your life?" What are you going to do with this day? While my day will have some of the old things such as shopping, ironing the clothes for next week, taking Mom to church, I will also incorporate the new. How do you take short stories and turn them into a novel? Well I will be discovering that today. A nice challenge for a sunny Sunday. What are you challenging yourself with?

The picture is called All That I See and while the cat may be finishing it by saying "belongs to me" I am saying "excites me." Challenges, I love them.

The real counter is 4909.

Soggy Saturday

"True morality consists not in following the well-beaten track, but in finding out the true path for ourselves and in fearlessly following it." Mahatma Gandhi

"It may seem unrealistic to think we can ever become free from hatred, but Buddhists have systematic methods for gradually developing a tolerance powerful enough to give such freedom." Dalai Lama

First let me congratulate my baby brother Jerry who is now part of the Sports Blogs Nation as their NASCAR blogger. Congratulations Diecast Dude. You will find his new home at http://www.restrictorplatethis.com/.

We are expecting rain and SNOW today. Ah life in the Midwest. As soon as the coffee hits the brain I'm heading out to do the shopping before the big stuff hits this afternoon. I am so sick of the weird weather around here. I'm sorry Easter has come and gone and I expect sunshine with my Spring.

I'm a little out of it this morning since the cats have been trying since before seven this morning to get me up. Pixie managed to pounce on my stomach twice as she was jumping from the window seat to the floor with my bed in between. She hates to be up by herself. She craves human companionship and since Mike left for work she decided that I needed to be up to pay attention to her. Cats are such narcissistic creatures.

I have the taxes done and filed electronically. The Federal one has an official acceptance and we are waiting for the State to do their thing. Of course the Feds are on top of it since they get money from me and the State needs to give me $8.00 back so they are dragging their heels.

Stargate geeks everywhere rejoiced last night when our shows came back on after being on hiatus for much too long. I enjoyed both of them immensely however it is kind of bittersweet knowing that there are only 10 episodes of Stargate SG-1 before it ends. The rumor has it that they will go to DVD movies. I sure hope so since I love that show. Atlantis will continue which is great because it has some great characters in it and an interesting villain in the vampire like Wraiths. Besides as my niece and I call the show it is Irish hunk night with Joe Flannigan in the lead. Definitely eye candy. ;-)

I am going to be spending time this weekend checking out agents and see about getting my book published. I have a friend at work who is very good at putting slight pressure on me to get going on this. I have a tendency to put things off so with her encouragement I will get going on this project. I have a lot of people pulling for me to succeed in getting published so I just need to make the efforts on my part to get it done.

That is one of the great things about humans. We can if we choose make a positive effect on other's lives. We can be a force for good if we only allow ourselves to be helpful and supportive rather then negative and snarky. That is something that many on the Internet don't understand. They think they are anonymous and that since they aren't dealing with people face to face that they can be as bitchy as they want. Wrong! Common decency does apply to the Internet as it does to real life. Before you criticize others get the mote out of your own eye.

The picture is called Dancing with the Stars. Again congratulation to my superstar blogging brother.

Send In the Clowns

"We cross the infinite with every step, and encounter the eternal with every second." Rabindranath Tagore

"I believe each human being has the potential to change, to transform one's own attitude, no matter how difficult the situation. We are human beings, and we have this marvelous brain and marvelous heart, so there is potential to develop a proper mental attitude through which we can have a happy, more peaceful life." Dalai Lama

Clowns are supposed to be funny yet in the circus they also have a serious job. They are the distraction in case of problems to get others to safety. Clowns are seen everywhere from the circus to McDonalds but for many children clowns are terrifying. Stephen King capitalized on this fear with his book It.

One of my favorite songs is Send in the Clowns. It is a very poignant song and I love hearing it sung well and indeed singing it myself. It is a song of loss and sadness.

The news has been full of Don Inmus and his slurs lately but I have to wonder if we haven't set ourselves up for that kind of behavior. It seems every big city has their own "shock jocks" and they get big ratings. Do we listen to them because we are hoping they will mirror our own prejudices and say what we can not say? Why listen to them? I find them offensive and refuse to listen to them because I don't think they are funny or worth my time.

Meredith Viera had a very important point when she asked Al Sharpton why he doesn't go after black rap artists who use the same language that Don Inmus used. He didn't really answer. So I am asking him and Jesse Jackson straight out. When are you going to go after the black rap artists who use the same offensive terms that you condemn white people for using? They are denigrating your own people. What is offensive out of a white mouth is still offensive out of a black mouth. Racial slurs are racial slurs no matter who says them.

It is time that all people stop and take a good look at themselves and how they perceive themselves and others.  If you are using slurs against your own ethnic background you are hurting your people just as much as you hurt other ethnic backgrounds if you use slurs against them. You need to respect yourself and your ethnic background and others and their ethnic background. When you put someone else down because of their race, color, creed, religion, sex, sexual orientation, ethnic background or beliefs you are showing the corruption of your own soul. You are exposing to the world that you are a hypocrite and a bigot. You can not use the excuse well he is a (fill in the blank) and needs to be condemned because you are a bigot and the condemnation comes back on your own head.

As the Dalai Lama has said we have the potential to change for good. We need to stop bigotry but we need to stop it everywhere. If your own people are using bigotry and obscenities towards your own speak out and try and stop it. It is hypocritical to go after others if you refuse to go after your own. Stop all bigotry.

As the song says send in the clowns, don't bother their here.

The real counter is 4891.

Tumultuous Thursday

"The person who confesses ignorance shows it once; the person who conceals it shows it many times." Japanese proverb

"The essential feature of true compassion is that it is universal and not discriminatory." Dalai Lama

I really got irritated with a coworker the other day. The board sent in this "expert" to see what the issues were in our department and how it runs. I guess the thought of just asking the manager how things are in her department didn't come to mind. As I was explaining something to the lady this coworker interrupts to say something that was just plain wrong. What is it about people who don't know what they are talking about that makes them talk any way? It was my area of expertise not hers so intelligence would dictate that she shut up and not show her ignorance. Stupidity bugs me.

We had our first tornado warning the other day. It went past us but still I had the Weather Channel on to keep track of its progress. My older brother, who is a Fox News junkie, had to turn the channel to his talking heads program. I don't know why anybody bothers with these shows because they all talk at once and no one listens to what the other person is saying. It isn't a dialogue or debate it is an exercise in flapping their gums. I prefer cooking shows at least you can learn something there.

There are very few blogs that I will look at on the web, the only consistent ones are my brother's two blogs. Their are some people on the web though that think that courtesy and compassion don't apply here in the Internet. The left bashes the right and the right bashes the left and each proclaim that the other is worse then they are. Boring! Courtesy is supposed to be practiced even here on the web. That is why I dropped my newsgroup, I got tired of the rudeness. I remember the old saying my Mom tried to pound into our heads, "if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all." Most of the times I try to be nice but hey I'm human and sometimes I get ticked off and express it.

One of my destressers in a stressful world is my art. I liked the way this picture came out. It is called "Stargazing" and the ghostly apparition you see in the background is Stonehenge. Even in the dawn of time man was fascinated by the stars. Our knowledge of today rests on the shoulders of the past.

The real counter is 4882.

Beauty

The taxes are finally done and it isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I owe the feds some and the state owes me a little. I put money in the savings each month to pay the feds because the bank pays interest and the feds don't. It works out in the end.

There are some very pretty Spring gardens in bloom now. Fortunately last weeks snow flurries and wind didn't kill off all the Spring flowers. They are very beautiful and a couple of houses in the neighborhood have really done an exceptional job with their gardens. I'm not real good with live plants. I've had cats too long and tend to go towards silk plants because they won't eat them.

You know the old phrase "beauty is in the eye of the beholder?" I imagine that while I find beauty in the gardens that someone say with severe allergies would find those same gardens to be ugly and ridden with pollen. I think my own mother is beautiful but I know that their are others who look at the wrinkles earned during 80 year of life as ugly.

I think what we see as beautiful relies on more then just our eyes to make that connection. Beauty needs a more intimate connection for us to really be beauty in our eyes. I think my mother is beautiful because I love her. I think the profusion of flowers is beautiful because I love nature. The emotional bond is what makes beauty special for us.

My mother thinks Pixie is the most beautiful cat because she loves the little creature so much. Pixie has made her way into Mom's heart and that makes her already physical attributes even more special to Mom. I think Pixie is a real cutie myself but then I'm a cat person. I think Merlin is a beautiful cat too but then nine years of being owned by him of course I would think that way.

What do you find beautiful in your own life? It is a beautiful day outside and I hope you all enjoy it.

The picture is called Eye of the Beholder and I think our artist probably shouldn't give up his day job.

The real counter is 4872.

Instinct

"No matter what you may be doing you are always free to whisper your love to God, until you consciously receive His response. This is the surest way to contact Him in the mad rush of present-day life." Paramahansa Yogananda

I learned a valuable lesson about following your instinct this weekend. Mom had been worried because she had only seen one of the two black outdoor cats. Sunday as we were getting ready to leave for church I heard a cat yelling. I first thought like Mom had been doing that it was one of the Tom cats calling for a female cat in heat. But there was something very wrong about the cry and I was determined to find the cat. I tried to pinpoint the sound and at first thought it was in the backyard and I started to look there where it suddenly dawned on me that it had to be coming from the small shed next to the house. I opened it up and there was our black cat. He had been caught inside there since Thursday morning without any food or drink. It was a cry of fear that I was hearing. It turned out that the man who was checking on the roof Thursday morning had shut the shed door not realizing that a cat was inside.

There has been much written, much of it derogatory, about woman's instinct but a cat is alive today because of it. I firmly believe that there is a sixth sense that allows us to know or discover things that are beyond our normal five senses. I would not have left by that door until next Sunday since my car is parked on the other side of the house and I only use that door when I go to church with Mom. Something just told me that there was a serious problem and I had to find that cat. Mom had never thought of looking in the shed and would have continued to put it down to Tom cats. She was so upset when she found out what had happened because she wouldn't have thought to check that shed.

I'm not a gambler and don't "play hunches" but I have learned over the years to pay attention to that sixth sense inside of me. If I had listened to it rather then my heart I wouldn't have married my ex-husband. Something told me that there was something seriously wrong when I was going with him but I ignored that little voice inside of me. Never again however, from now on I am listening.

So today I whisper a thank you to God for allowing me to find that poor little cat. It would have broken my Mom's heart to have lost him and she would blame herself until the day she died if the cat had died. She still blames herself now for what it went through although there was no way she could have known that it got locked into the shed.

I spent much of yesterday afternoon and evening updating my web site The snow flurries are gone for a while at least although it remains chilly so I figured I might as well put the Spring pictures up as well as the art work I had done since the last update. The Guardian series of pictures is really taking on a life of its own. I would say I've done all of the subjects I can think of but last time I said that 10 pictures jumped into mind.

The real counter is 4867.

Happy Easter

"The world in general ... is changing for the better. In recent times there is definitely a greater awareness and appreciation for peace, nonviolence, democracy, justice, and environmental protection. The recent unprecedented response from governments and individuals across the world to the tsunami disaster victims reaffirms that the world is truly interdependent and the importance of universal responsibility." Dalai Lama

Today is the day the Lord has made let us rejoice and be glad. Happy Easter everyone. Today is the day that we rejoice in the resurrection of our Lord and his triumph over death. It is the holiest day of the liturgical calendar. It is the day of a new beginning.

Today you will see new clothes and flowers galore as we celebrate our new life and new beginning. It is a day to ignore the fact that there are snow flurries. Sigh. Mother Nature will you get with the program!

If you were given a second chance in life what would you do differently? It is something that I have thought about and I'm not really sure what I would have done differently. I think if I had followed my heart that I would probably have gone to New York after college to try my luck in theater since that was my major and I really loved it.

How will my life change in the future? My dinner companion asked last night what I will do after my mother passes away. I am torn two ways. Part of me wants to go back to the Chicago area which I really love. Part of me wants to go down and join the arts community in North Carolina and be near my niece, who is like a daughter to me, and her children. I guess one of the defining factors will be if I can get an agent and the books sold or where I can find a gallery to show my art work. Then there is of course the language problem. With Chicago can I do "da bears", "da Cubs". Yep I can handle that. Now the toughie can I pronounce Chicago with all three vowels sounding the same? Nope. Still can't figure out how they do that. Can I make "you all" come out "y'all". Yes I can do that however mushing the rest of the words together is a little tougher for a drama/speech major. Challenges no matter what I choose.

Life and the future is a challenge isn't it? The picture is called He Has Risen.

The real counter is 4858.

Scrambling Through Saturday

"The world is ruled by letting things take their course." Lao-Tzu

An interesting quote, very Eastern in philosophy. I have a tendency to be more Western in outlook and like to make things happen. Today is going to be busy!

My first stop today is my storage shed and see what might be missing. They called yesterday and spoke to my Mom and said eight sheds had been broken into but they didn't think anything had been taken. Grrr! For $60.00 a month I expect better security then that. They raised the price but still don't have any security it looks like. Fortunately I have insurance but I sure hope my things are okay.

Next stop is to get my hair cut. This comes at a good time since I am going out to dinner tonight with someone I've been talking to at Match.com. I have another gentlemen that wants to correspond from there also. Nothing ventured nothing gained. It will get me out of the house.

Then comes the zoo otherwise known as Wal-Mart on a Saturday right before a holiday. It is bad normally but it will be nutso today. I need to do my and my Mom's shopping and with Mom's I'll be hitting three stores to get what she wants. All and all a busy day.

I should probably work on updating my web site this afternoon. I have done about a dozen new pictures and should get them and the new photographs up there. In spite of the snow flurries it is Spring and I do have some Spring pictures to put up.

Today is Holy Saturday in the liturgical year. There is no Mass today instead there are reflections on Christ's death and waiting for the resurrection. It is a day for meditation and the realization of how much God loves us.

As we reflect on Jesus death we are also reminded of loved ones that we have lost. I think about my Dad almost every day. The room where my computer is in is his den where he had his computer and where he had all his diplomas hung. While time hasn't diminished the loss I feel with his passing it has brought the acceptance that he is gone. The wonderful thing about having faith and believing in God is the knowledge that I will see Dad again in the next life. How very sad it must be for those who have no faith for they cannot have that peace within that comes with the knowledge that death is not the end but a new beginning and that we will experience our loved ones presence again.

The picture is called Raspberry Parfait because that was what popped into mind when I saw the colors.

The real counter is 4851.

Finally Friday

"It is easy to shield our bodies against poisoned arrows from without but difficult to shield our mind against poisoned arrows from within." Shakyamuni

"In general, I always state that I have three commitments in life. Firstly, on a level of a human being, my first commitment is the promotion of human values such as compassion, forgiveness, tolerance, contentment, and self-discipline." Dalai Lama

Two magnificent thoughts to bring this work week to a close. How often have we found ourselves muttering that we are our own worst enemy? How often have we called ourselves stupid when we do something that is well let's face it stupid? We have a real tendency to be much too hard on ourselves. It is the thing that bugs me the most about my Mom. She is always putting herself down.

Humans have a tendency to sabotage themselves. I know I do. I stepped on the scale this morning and went oops. Time to lay off of the Easter candy and start working out some more. I got a gift card for my birthday for Barnes and Noble and it is partially going to go towards getting some yoga books since all of mine are in storage and it is one form of exercise I can do with my arthritis. I hadn't been being careful of what I eat and not exercising enough and the weight I lost is creeping back on. Time to do something about it.

That is the wonderful thing about being human though we can do something about our faults. We can remember not someone else can do it for you. We can make our lives better if we really want to. A lot of people battle depression because of stress in their lives. We have the tools we need to try and overcome that stress. Their are others out there who can help. No man is an island. It is no shame to reach out and say I need help. It takes a strong person to admit that they need some help. When I was in the midst of an abusive marriage I reached out for psychiatric help because I couldn't cope with the stress any more by myself. It was the combination of the medicine and counseling that gave me the strength to get out of that marriage. I was flat out told that there was nothing wrong with me except that I was in an abusive relationship and I needed to leave him. It was hard to walk away from my marriage but with the help and love of family and friends I made it through.

In an era where the term "family values" is thrown around by politicians it is important to go back to what the Dalai Lama says are human values. They are compassion, forgiveness, tolerance, contentment, and self-discipline. Those are real values. Political posturing about family values seems to be aimed at denying people the respect they deserve as human beings. There is no compassion or tolerance in them. The politicians should go back and reread the words of our founding fathers. We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

Today as we observe the death that Christ endured for us let us remember that he died because of his love for all of us and that we need to show that love to ourselves and others.

The picture is called Guardian of Freedom.

The real counter is 4842

Spring?

"In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher." Dalai Lama

"Basically, universal responsibility is feeling for other people's suffering just as we feel our own. It is the realization that even our enemy is entirely motivated by the quest for happiness." Dalai Lama

Let me refresh my memory, Mother Nature. The first day of Spring was March 21st and Easter is Sunday. Correct? So why the freeze alert and snow flurries? Sigh weather in the Midwest is so unpredictable. I grew up in California where we had two seasons, wet and dry.

Yesterday was my older cat's birthday. Merlin is a whopping nine years old now. Of course we are talking chronological age and not maturity. Maturity wise I think he is stuck at six months. He is the biggest mamma's boy. It is hard to believe that I have had him this long. I got him when he was four weeks old and remember him sucking on my fingers when he got upset.

If I believed in coincidences I would think that my Ancient Wisdom of the Orient calendar having a quote from the Dalai Lama on the same subject as today's quote on my Dalai Lama calendar was a coincidence but I actually believe that such things happen for a purpose. We are now into Holy Thursday with the Last Supper and tomorrow we observe the death of Christ and on Sunday his resurrection. "Forgive them Father they know not what they do."

Forgiveness is something that many people have problems with. It is hard to forgive someone who has caused you harm or pain. It is something that I have struggled with all my life and am finally starting to learn. One of the most shining examples of forgiveness is the late Pope John Paul II forgiving the man who tried to assassinate him. He not only learned Christ's lesson but he practiced it.

In my own life it has been a struggle but I have finally let go and forgiven my abusive ex-husband for putting me through six years of hell. I realize that he is a very sick and unhappy man who will never get well until he gets the help he needs. I sincerely wish that he one day wakes up and realizes he has problems and that it isn't always someone else's fault. There is no "guild" spying on him and trying to destroy him. He is destroying himself.

I have also forgiven the lady who forced me out of a job I loved because she was jealous of me and the fact so many people loved me for the good job I was doing. I received a late birthday present from one of my former nurses because she and the people I helped still remember me with love. Getting me out of the company where she doesn't have to deal with me hasn't changed a thing. I am still loved. She is still consumed with jealousy of others and until she learns to let go of that crippling emotion she will never know true happiness. She is sabotaging herself. I have survived and will continue to survive.

As much as I hated leaving my old job it has been for the best. I am living here with my mother and taking care of her in her declining years. Being able to return the care for her that she has lavished on her children is the greatest reward in my life.

Another lesson to be learned in this Easter season is that God never gives you more then you can handle. When I lost my Dad at the same time my marriage broke up and I was at my lowest point in self esteem and courage I wondered if I could ever get through. But God gave me the strength to carry on even when I was angry at Him for things being the way they were. S/he understood that I had to work through the anger and pain and S/he was patient and knew I would come back.

So this Easter season I would hope that we would learn the lesson of forgiveness. When we hate our neighbor the only person we are hurting is ourself.

With snow flurries predicted for the entire weekend I figured my picture called Easter Egg Delivery in the Midwest was highly appropriate.

The real counter is 4833

Remember

I must remember that next time I want to have a backup of something on another drive to hit Copy not Move. It takes a while to reinstall 1795 fonts as I discovered last night. Little minor things like that can be so irritating.

For the most part I have a good memory but I find that it helps to keep my pocket PC with me to jot down things. I use it a lot for my shopping list. That is one thing I tend to forget if I don't jot it down right away is what I am out of and need to get. The pocket PC is such a wonderful invention. I refer to mine as my back up storage for my brain.

Memory is an interesting thing. The brain has everything stored away and it comes out in memories or dreams. Sometimes you remember the oddest things but can't remember something that happened a few days ago. I think of my brain as a computer and it has only so much active memory space that it stores 95% of everything else.

I am much more prone to remember happy events then I am events that distressed me. I don't like dwelling in the past and really live for the present and look forward to the future. There is nothing I can do about my past except learn from it and try not to make the same mistakes again. That is the best thing you can do with your past.

I have wonderful memories of my college years. I loved being in theater and the people that were in the classes with me. I remember one weekend when we all went to the beach and danced Greek dances on the sand and watched the sun rise. It was a beautiful time.

I have wonderful memories of trips and places I went to with my Dad. He drove me to college for all but one of my four years so it was a time for just the two of us. We saw some spectacular scenery in our trips. The United States has so many beautiful things to see.

I have wonderful memories of science fiction conventions that I worked as well as attended. The very first convention I went to had Ray Bradbury as a guest and I have his autograph on my copy of The Martian Chronicles.

A trip through memory lane can be one of the best mini vacations you can take. The picture is called May You Dance and I hope your memories dance for you.

The real counter is 4816

Monday's Mood

Another week has started and soon I'll be out the door heading for work. Oh to be independently wealthy so I didn't have to hear that alarm clock ring.

Work will be the same old, same old unfortunately. The big boss will be gone but the little assistant will be there and promises to ride herd on our coworker who refuses to listen and do her job right thereby making the rest of us have to do her job and ours and clean up her messes. There is a lot of frustration in our department right now because of her.

Sometimes I wonder how people with names like John or Arthur feel about their names being associated with other things that aren't so nice. John of course has to deal with being referred to as a toilet and Arthur has the distinction of being referred to as arthritis. My arthritis has been in over drive for several weeks and so has my Mom's and my Aunt's. The weather has been really goofy and stormy and I wonder if that is part of the cause.

I started to get arthritis in my teens. I imagine the fact that I was so active and into things like skiing, throwing footballs with my Dad, volleyball, etc. was one of the reasons why it hit early. Since there is no cure for arthritis you end up altering your lifestyle to accommodate it. I love to cook and most of my cooking things are made by Oxo Good Grips which is especially geared towards people with arthritis. I also switched to computer art since it is easier to use a mouse then a pen these days. All of my writing is done of the computer now instead of yellow legal size tablets. I have a support glove made by Mueller Sport Care that I use on my right wrist since it is the worst one. I try to walk and have my trusty pedometer on at all times to measure my progress. I like seeing the little numbers go up and it is a great motivation to get up and walk.

Arthritis is one of those things in life that you can either learn to deal with or give into it and let it rule your life. I believe that no matter what problems we have they can be overcome if we just keep a positive attitude. You can either quit and withdraw into a little shell and allow your problems to rule your life or you can find a way to deal with them. Me? I'm not a quitter. Sure the arthritis in my spine and every joint in my body is uncomfortable but I've learned to deal with it and go on with my life.

The picture is called Preparing for the King and this time the Arthurs of the world can be proud of their name.

The real counter is 4799

 

Sunny Sunday

What is it about cats that they can't let humans sleep? My two can not differentiate between weekdays when mommy has to get up to go to work and weekends when I can supposedly sleep in. In actuality I doze, get woken up, doze, get woken up again, keep repeating until I give up and get up.

Today is sunny and beautiful out and I may grab the camera and walk some and get more spring pictures. I need to get the web site updated and may work on that this afternoon. Then again I may write some more this afternoon. It will depend on my mood after I get back from taking Mom to church.

Today is Palm Sunday in the Catholic Church and this means that the entire Passion of Christ will be read. It is the start of holy week and we reflect this week on the power of God's love for us. He so loved the world that he gave us his only son. So today is a good day to renew your vow to show more love and compassion towards others.

This is the picture I was working on last night. I am calling it Stellar Nursery.

The real counter is 4794